Fri Funny

[rich]

<A target="_blank" HREF=http://crew.tweakers.net/JvS/zooi/realhussein.swf>http://crew.tweakers.net/JvS/zooi/realhussein.swf</A>
turn the sound up,

<hr width=100% size=1>rich )

 

[c_j]

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and
spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me,
can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I
don't know where I am."

The woman below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering
approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees
north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.

"I am," replied the woman, "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically
correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact
is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If
anything, you've delayed my trip."

The woman below responded, "You must be in Management."

"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you're
going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot
air. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you
expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in
exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow,
it's my fault."

<hr width=100% size=1>CJ
chris@stone.uk.com


<A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.stone.uk.com>http://www.stone.uk.com</A>

 

[boatone]

The variant is where man in balloon says to man on ground...'can you tell me where I am, please?'
Man on ground sez ' yes, you are here'
'Thanks' sez man in balloon ' are you perchance an accountant?'
Man sez 'yes I am an accountant, how did you know?'
'Well' sez man in balloon ' yopur information may be factually correct, but is no bloody use whatsoever' !

<hr width=100% size=1><A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.boatsontheweb.com/> Website, Photo Gallery, Chat Room, Burgees</A>

 

[sailbadthesinner]

Man walks into a pub

'does anyone in here own a 6 foot penguin?'

silence

'oh sh*t i've just run over a nun'

now I AM going home

<hr width=100% size=1><font color=red>I can't walk on water, but I do run on Guinness</font color=red>

 

[Forbsie]

A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his
dad bouncing up and down.
The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son
has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him.
The son sees his mom and asks, "What were you and Dad doing?"
The mother replies "Well you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes
I have to get on top of it to help flatten it."
"You're wasting your time," said the boy. "Why is that?" asked his mom,
puzzled.
"Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her
knees and blows it right back up."


<hr width=100% size=1><A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.arweb.co.uk/argallery/forbsie?&page=1>My Project</A>

 

[hairofthedog]

2 elderly American tourists in Wales stop for lunch in Llanfair P.G. (you know the place with the very long unpronouncable name).
One of them asks the waitress to tell them where they are and to speak slowly so they can get the pronunciation right. She says...
B-U-R-G-E-R K-I-N-G.

<hr width=100% size=1>

 

[brianrunyard]

A teacher told her class that "although Whales are very large, there is no way thay could swallow a person as their throat is too small".
Little girl, "That can't be true because Jonah was swallowed by a whale".
Teacher, "That's not a true story".
Little girl, "when I get to heaven I'll ask Jonah".
Teacher, "What if Jonah is in hell".
Little girl, "Then you can ask him".

<hr width=100% size=1>Brian
http://homepage.ntlworld.com/brunyard