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Not a spoof. Mrs S bought me a silver-plated mouse (the puter type) and it is fab. Much better than "ooh don't really need anything".
paulineb
Active member
Hope you increased her annual shoe allowance. Least you can do, surely ? ;-)
Pauline B
Pauline B
jfm
Well-known member
A little known fact to tell Mrs S
The worldwide exclusive mfg rights to silver plated mice are in fact held by Simrad. They may be sold under different names but that's just licencing. Ouch!
When she's got over that, you can say "In for a mouse, in for a plotter, doesn't really matter m'am" and go order Simrad Windows kit for LS23
JFM
The worldwide exclusive mfg rights to silver plated mice are in fact held by Simrad. They may be sold under different names but that's just licencing. Ouch!
When she's got over that, you can say "In for a mouse, in for a plotter, doesn't really matter m'am" and go order Simrad Windows kit for LS23
JFM
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Re: ooh
It says "wallace silversmiths" on it. I will keep it secret for a while.
It says "wallace silversmiths" on it. I will keep it secret for a while.
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Guest
Guest
Re: Be careful
I reckon she's after her inheritence. A long day fondling your silver mouse, lick fingers after meal - hey presto metal poisoning! In case she succeeds, could you mention that if she does, I could be available to con her LP23 - prime Scottish chartered accountant - there's not many available.
Silver mouse indeed!
Nick
I reckon she's after her inheritence. A long day fondling your silver mouse, lick fingers after meal - hey presto metal poisoning! In case she succeeds, could you mention that if she does, I could be available to con her LP23 - prime Scottish chartered accountant - there's not many available.
Silver mouse indeed!
Nick
jfm
Well-known member
Yes Mrs S, ....
he's right, there aren't many Prime Scottish Chartered Accountants. In fact, I've never ever met one.
)
JFM
he's right, there aren't many Prime Scottish Chartered Accountants. In fact, I've never ever met one.
)JFM
longjohnsilver
Well-known member
Re: Yes Mrs S, ....
The only thing that I would call "prime" and "Scottish" in the same sentence would be Aberdeen angus and that is slaughtered at 30 months - maybe the same should apply to Jock accountants?!!!
The only thing that I would call "prime" and "Scottish" in the same sentence would be Aberdeen angus and that is slaughtered at 30 months - maybe the same should apply to Jock accountants?!!!
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Re: Be careful
Yes, "con" and "accountant" in the same sentence. well at least he's honest. Can't be a real jock then.
Yes, "con" and "accountant" in the same sentence. well at least he's honest. Can't be a real jock then.
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Re: ah
just understood NR's posting. "Conning" a boat means driving it then. Anyway, surely a silver plated mouse won't be poisonous. Else why wd there be silver-plated cutlery. Ooer, the truth dawns...
just understood NR's posting. "Conning" a boat means driving it then. Anyway, surely a silver plated mouse won't be poisonous. Else why wd there be silver-plated cutlery. Ooer, the truth dawns...
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but this is from the massive surplus, non?
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Re: ah
Silver PLATED, not solid then?
And she bought this for you as a special pressie just for you?
Whereas you bought her a £1.5million quid Leopard ?
Hmmm..... nuff said????
Wouldn't want to cause offence or anything - (or worse still ruin my chances of an invite to the launching ceremony)
<P ID="edit"><FONT SIZE=-1>Edited by colin_maslen on Mon Oct 1 22:14:44 2001 (server time).</FONT></P>
Silver PLATED, not solid then?
And she bought this for you as a special pressie just for you?
Whereas you bought her a £1.5million quid Leopard ?
Hmmm..... nuff said????
Wouldn't want to cause offence or anything - (or worse still ruin my chances of an invite to the launching ceremony)
<P ID="edit"><FONT SIZE=-1>Edited by colin_maslen on Mon Oct 1 22:14:44 2001 (server time).</FONT></P>
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Re: waterskiing
Even I can't get away with the idea that "I'm" buying the boat "for her". And anyway, what wil you do on it eh? There's a skipper and a dishwasher already. Ooh, I know, waterskiing tuition. The sales chap says it'll be rubbish to try and water ski off the back of it, but I wd've thort that anybody quite expert like CM will have no problem. Apart from the 1gal/minute of diesel in face, wd there be any problems?
Even I can't get away with the idea that "I'm" buying the boat "for her". And anyway, what wil you do on it eh? There's a skipper and a dishwasher already. Ooh, I know, waterskiing tuition. The sales chap says it'll be rubbish to try and water ski off the back of it, but I wd've thort that anybody quite expert like CM will have no problem. Apart from the 1gal/minute of diesel in face, wd there be any problems?
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Re: Muddled thinking
I feel I have to correct the perception of Scottish Chartered accountants on this forum. We are the senior accountancy body in the UK, having invented it (well borrowed from the Italians), we are a fine upstanding body and very few of us get caught! JFM's opinion does'nt count as he works for the Automobile Association.
As for conning the boat - don't you watch any Hollywood films? - especially submarine films about how the Americans won the war - captain says "Take the con Chief, I'm going to the heads" chief replies "I have the con Aye" (note the Scottish influence here). To the best of my knowledge, in this context 'con' does not mean "to acquire by deceit" I mean stealing a submarine, thats just stupid!
Nick
I feel I have to correct the perception of Scottish Chartered accountants on this forum. We are the senior accountancy body in the UK, having invented it (well borrowed from the Italians), we are a fine upstanding body and very few of us get caught! JFM's opinion does'nt count as he works for the Automobile Association.
As for conning the boat - don't you watch any Hollywood films? - especially submarine films about how the Americans won the war - captain says "Take the con Chief, I'm going to the heads" chief replies "I have the con Aye" (note the Scottish influence here). To the best of my knowledge, in this context 'con' does not mean "to acquire by deceit" I mean stealing a submarine, thats just stupid!
Nick
longjohnsilver
Well-known member
Re: waterskiing
How about some diving lessons? I've offered before to catch your lobsters for tea, but if you want crabs then it's down to you...................
How about some diving lessons? I've offered before to catch your lobsters for tea, but if you want crabs then it's down to you...................
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Re: ah doont thenk shell tek mooch moorr, Cap\'n!
Righty ho. Msges re accoutants, conning, and submarines all understood very clearly.
I do indeed watch all the films about the war, altho some of them show everyone on very clean boats in very clean smart uniforms, and hardly ever any mucking about with painting or antifouling. On the submarines especially, they are all very well behaved, whereas you would have thought someone wd be doing "Powwww" noise impressions occassionaly to wind up the sonar/radar guy to lighten the mood.
Anyway never mind this, are you any closer to nice boat? The motorsailer idea is not bad.
Righty ho. Msges re accoutants, conning, and submarines all understood very clearly.
I do indeed watch all the films about the war, altho some of them show everyone on very clean boats in very clean smart uniforms, and hardly ever any mucking about with painting or antifouling. On the submarines especially, they are all very well behaved, whereas you would have thought someone wd be doing "Powwww" noise impressions occassionaly to wind up the sonar/radar guy to lighten the mood.
Anyway never mind this, are you any closer to nice boat? The motorsailer idea is not bad.
BarryD
New member
Re: Failed Bribery / Be Careful
When SWMBO was preggers to cheer her up I bought her a 4.0L Wrangler Jeep - which she loved a lot. When I pranged my car I borrowed it as Short Person had just been born and she wasn't going anywhere. Oh dear I liked it. Could'nt be seen in a two door girlie red jeep - so following Saturday I swapped it for a new Grand Jeep, and gave her a rather nice two seat TR7v8 convertible as a daily use car.
32 months later - I am still being beaten up over it - 32 months(!) you get less time for murder. She's now got a newer car than me (OK its not a jeep but two 4.0L in the driveway would be a bit silly) and still it is brought up every time we party.
So Matt if you tell SWMBO that the Leopard is hers don't swap it next month or loose it in a game of snap or happy families! You will never, never hear the end of it.
"I'm giving you pearls here"
Barry D.
When SWMBO was preggers to cheer her up I bought her a 4.0L Wrangler Jeep - which she loved a lot. When I pranged my car I borrowed it as Short Person had just been born and she wasn't going anywhere. Oh dear I liked it. Could'nt be seen in a two door girlie red jeep - so following Saturday I swapped it for a new Grand Jeep, and gave her a rather nice two seat TR7v8 convertible as a daily use car.
32 months later - I am still being beaten up over it - 32 months(!) you get less time for murder. She's now got a newer car than me (OK its not a jeep but two 4.0L in the driveway would be a bit silly) and still it is brought up every time we party.
So Matt if you tell SWMBO that the Leopard is hers don't swap it next month or loose it in a game of snap or happy families! You will never, never hear the end of it.
"I'm giving you pearls here"
Barry D.
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Re: Noted!(nm)
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Re: ah doont thenk shell tek mooch moorr, Cap\'n!
You've been watching the wrong movies, that phrase is Scotty's from Startrek - you know - when the warp drive is stuffed, the shields are down to the last 5% and impulse power is failing because the anti-matter resonater is buggered - "ah doont thenk shell tek mooch moorr, Cap'n!" Incidentally, you can't spell for toffee its
"ah dinnae think she'll tak mich mair, Cap'n!"
As for motor sailers, I am quite taken by this little boat but she is relatively cheap and a lot less than I had expected to spend. On the other hand that might be a cheap way of trying it out without risking taking a bath if I don't like it. She does not have a silver plated mouse but she does have a chrome rocker cover on the engine, so there!
Nick
You've been watching the wrong movies, that phrase is Scotty's from Startrek - you know - when the warp drive is stuffed, the shields are down to the last 5% and impulse power is failing because the anti-matter resonater is buggered - "ah doont thenk shell tek mooch moorr, Cap'n!" Incidentally, you can't spell for toffee its
"ah dinnae think she'll tak mich mair, Cap'n!"
As for motor sailers, I am quite taken by this little boat but she is relatively cheap and a lot less than I had expected to spend. On the other hand that might be a cheap way of trying it out without risking taking a bath if I don't like it. She does not have a silver plated mouse but she does have a chrome rocker cover on the engine, so there!
Nick
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Re: cheap motysailer
Might be a nice idea. Having other hols (on boats of course) is jolly fun and more easily justifiable if the home boat isn't costing a fortune. Charter powerboat round Majorca is lovely, sailing in BVI's is great, all places where can jump in nice and warm.
Thank you for the language lesson. I have used this: in a sailboat in the channel, the engine packed in, so MattS starts pulling apart stairs and trying to find tools, everyone on deck (no wind) all quiet and worried. Nobody ever has a laugh when the boats busted, but later (when fixed) its all ok - so I decided on the laught earlier, and to lighten mood, I put head out and said That Phrase, which got a giggle.
Might be a nice idea. Having other hols (on boats of course) is jolly fun and more easily justifiable if the home boat isn't costing a fortune. Charter powerboat round Majorca is lovely, sailing in BVI's is great, all places where can jump in nice and warm.
Thank you for the language lesson. I have used this: in a sailboat in the channel, the engine packed in, so MattS starts pulling apart stairs and trying to find tools, everyone on deck (no wind) all quiet and worried. Nobody ever has a laugh when the boats busted, but later (when fixed) its all ok - so I decided on the laught earlier, and to lighten mood, I put head out and said That Phrase, which got a giggle.
jfm
Well-known member
Re: Kidsons Wimpey
Yes Nick but you work for Haydn. And the AA isn't a bad firm, OK I have to go out in the rain a lot at night, but I get my own van with orange lights and stuff.
Hey Colin, didn't know you were a waterskier! Wot do you do, slalom, trix and stuff? I do as much as I can, I used to do it every week and compete, but then I got too lardy to make the grade. Funnily enuf I skied for the first time behind a diesel boat this summer, a Mastercraft in Turkey. It was awful, 10 seconds of turbo lag while being pulled thru the water and then finally you pop out into cloud of black sooty carcinogens. If you did it behind the LS23 I think you would actually die. Matts is gonna have to get a fast tender for his garage
JFM
Yes Nick but you work for Haydn. And the AA isn't a bad firm, OK I have to go out in the rain a lot at night, but I get my own van with orange lights and stuff.
Hey Colin, didn't know you were a waterskier! Wot do you do, slalom, trix and stuff? I do as much as I can, I used to do it every week and compete, but then I got too lardy to make the grade. Funnily enuf I skied for the first time behind a diesel boat this summer, a Mastercraft in Turkey. It was awful, 10 seconds of turbo lag while being pulled thru the water and then finally you pop out into cloud of black sooty carcinogens. If you did it behind the LS23 I think you would actually die. Matts is gonna have to get a fast tender for his garage
JFM
