Fenderstep

[claymore]

I am now the pround owner of said item. It is chubby, curvaceous and non slip on the step bit. It creates an almost sexual chemistry which I found as hard to resist as Para Handy's mackerel over the weekend. There is one snag in that there are 3 fastening points. 2 to hang it in the horizontal plane - steppy bit the uppermost - but a third one which I can only assume is there to run a line from, under the boat and tie up on the other side deck. Am I the sole forum possessor of this device or can someone more enlightened than I, inform as to the purpose of the third hole?

<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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[tcm]

The third hole is for added boatiness if you only have one step. You tie it loosely back to the standchions, or perhaps use a bike chain with a lock and key to protect this incredibly valuable and several-months-delivery item.

Serioulsy, if you got yourself a proper seagoing vessel with more than 2 feet of freeboard and/or when you mangle your legs getting on and off via one fender step, you'll need a series of fendersteps, and tie the others below hanging off the first. I understand that the industrious inventor is eagerley devising the remote-control Wheelchair Wondercrane at this very moment so you should get your order in asap.





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[claymore]

Listen Matey...

Proper Seagoing Vessel.
We came in from the Outer reaches of the other side of nowhere with force 11 - I say again Force 11 forecast to a marina full of Proper Seagoing Stinkie Vessels all with a yard and a half of freeboard and all chained and padlocked to the pontoons with the owners all in the bogs with their heads under the hand-driers fluffing up their toupes.
So much for Proper Seagoing Vessels
And another thing - I only have short legs.

<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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[claymore]

Listen Matey...

Proper Seagoing Vessel.
We came in from the Outer reaches of the other side of nowhere in the teeth of a gale with 27 rectums on the windything and the Barometer 3 inches down from the S of Stormy and it was raining and the fish weren't biting with force 11 - I say again - Force 11 forecast to a marina full of Proper Seagoing Stinkie Vessels all with a yard and a half of freeboard and all chained and padlocked to the pontoons with the owners all in the bogs with their heads under the hand-driers fluffing up their toupes.
So much for Proper Seagoing Vessels
And another thing - I only have short legs.

<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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[sailbadthesinner]

Re: stoppit...

you're making me cry with laughter

owners all in the bogs with their heads under the hand-driers fluffing up their toupes.
ithat one has me in bits




<hr width=100% size=1><font color=red>I can't walk on water, but I do run on Guinness</font color=red>

 

[tcm]

Re: alrighty

Hm. okay. I don't understand the 27 rectums but it sounds very technical. Or possibly the digital readout on your windex has busted hence it looks like pictures of bottoms?

Re the fenderstep - did it not come with a manual? I would have thought a manual a vital part of the kit. Normally, these have smiling semiclad come-hither bimbo balancing on the fenderstep if attached to nice luxurious powerboat, and often also a gruff male type in rather-too-new oilies ignoring camera climbing up sailboat, to illustrate the diverse uses of this versatile bit of kit. And the fact that even with a brand new fenderstep, the bimbos are nowhere to be seen....

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[claymore]

Re: alrighty

Thank you for that post my boy. I have just telephoned the Ardfern Yachting Emporium (By Appointment etc HRH Princess Royal) who have informed me that they are not in the practice of handing out Blonde Come-Hither Bimbos with every fenderstep but that a Miss Effie McGlumper of East Kilbride is more than happy to take on the role next time I'm passing.
Looks like another weekend without Dear Heart.

<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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[mjpmjp]

The third eye just gives more versatility. If you want to use it as a ladder over the bow you can tie off to the pontoon to stop swinging. Also if you turn the step over and suspend it from the single eye it is a great back-up fender. Apparently they are now being used by Fish Farmers as well when the third point is used to create a matrix/grid pattern. Of course only the top two eyes are designed to take the regular heavy weight loading of crew stepping on and off…

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[claymore]

Thanks for that - You seem to be saying that both my crew and I are fat and heavy - I tend to think of myself as compact and sturdy. I couldn't possibly comment about Dear Heart except to say that alongside my good self she is a positive sylph.
Fish Farmers... there was a moment this weekend when the onboard fisherman was close to getting us to sail alongside a fish farm whilst he cast his spinner in there - probably would have had more success.

<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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[Ohdrat]

Re: 2 feet of freeboard

There are plenty of seagoing Raggie boats that have less than 2 feet of freeboard.. some regard it as safer than a high freeboard.. it's easier to get a MOB back on board for a start and the lurchy operation of getting from bouncy tender to rocking yacht is somewhat easier and completely removes the need for such items as the aforementioned fenderstep...

Which begs the question were high freeboard yachts built to necessitate such accessories / products as the fender step ??? /forums/images/icons/wink.gif

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[tcm]

Re: low pontoons

Perhaps nasty low-freeboard pontoons are to blame?

Oh hell, that would mean that any owner of a fenderstep had a too-high freeboard, stayed in a skanky wobbly-pontoon marina, or had short legs. Or all of these? I sincerely hope that forthcoming South SeaSeasickness Bubble invention has better prospects of success than these badges of universal maritime inadequacy.

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[chas]

What I cant work out is that if it is a fender, it should be below the edge of the pontoon/wall etc. If it is between the pontoon and the boat, it is lower than the edge of the pontoon so why is it easier to step on it rater than off the pontoon??(If that makes sense).

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[Jacket]

You use it as a fender OR a step, not as both at the same time.

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