Ducks

[theguvnor]

Does anyone know if ducks can cr*p in the river or just on pontoons or bathing platforms ? When I was a kid, peeing in the swimming pool was statutory in my gang, but we didn`t cr*p on the side and sit next to it! If a duck opens its ar*e in the water, will it sink or what?

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[Guest]

I suspect that they have mastered the art of crapping in the water, though from what I can make out, they seem to prefer my coachroof.

Presumably, they have to keep their beaks closed while their arse is open, otherwise they risk flooding and sinking. Unless they have built in buoyancy. Has anyone opened one up to look?

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[martynwhiteley]

Pretty sure they'll have an exhaust riser above the waterline.

Positive pressure in their bilge should ensure no backflow or syphon effect.

<hr width=100% size=1><font color=blue> Real boaters do it on the Humber </font color=blue>

 

[Gludy]

I can confirm they do cr** in the water.

Further they perform other bodily functions that result in higher speeds through the water - those who know about the subtle bursts of speed by ducks understand the basis of the physics ... there I am back onto jets ....

<hr width=100% size=1>Paul

 

[martynwhiteley]

Try throwing a pancake at them, lined with plum sauce. Then I'm sure they'll cr*p in the river /forums/images/icons/laugh.gif .

<hr width=100% size=1><font color=blue> Real boaters do it on the Humber </font color=blue>

 

[martynwhiteley]

Mmm, that's got me thinking... there was a large flock of ducks infront on me when I got the 22 knts out of the little 1.7.

Must have scared the sh1t out of them!

High in carbon, I suppose it has excellent lubricating properties.

Reduced drag!!!! Maybe the Matrix is fine after all /forums/images/icons/wink.gif .

<hr width=100% size=1><font color=blue> Real boaters do it on the Humber </font color=blue>

 

[Gludy]

Yes- the Matrix glitch....

Ducks could just be the answer.

I do not wish to get you excited or in a flap, nor am I going to send you a bill ....

Not wishing to duck your comments, I have to reject the carbon theory:-

If as you say there was a flock of ducks ahead of you when the Matrix appeared to glitch ... it was , as you say because you scared the sh** out of them but with that I have no doubt there was a stream of gas bubbles that could have lowered the friction of the hull - you were in effect a hover craft but instead of air - you were floating on methane ... .good job you didn't light a fag! ... otherwise you would have had a right ducking!!!





<hr width=100% size=1>Paul

 

[jon_bailey]

You've heard the phrase 'Tight as a Duck's ****'

My guess is that it must be at least water tight.

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