Do I need a bigger boat?

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Martxer

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Headed out on Sunday mid morning from the hamble . Plan was to head to Thorness bay anchor for the day then head to Cowes for an overnight stay.
As we got out to the Solent sea was as expected bit choppy and very busy, the missus is a fair weather boater anything other than flat calm and she is fretting.
To throw coals on the fire we had to deal with a couple of 50’+ fly bridge boats giving no room to other boats in the vicinity. This resulted in a u turn and a total right off of the weekend plans.

The question is do I need a 50’ fly and be and inconsiderate ar** or is there an alternative?
So far it’s either move elsewhere or head out earlier as the funds don’t stretch to a 50’ fly ?

We were in Lymington last year and it’s not as intense as leaving the Hamble but moved from Lymington for a shorter travel time to the boat.

Any tips to make a nervous boater more at ease? Currently got her watching boats v haul over but it isn’t helping .
 
Martxer said:
Headed out on Sunday mid morning from the hamble . Plan was to head to Thorness bay anchor for the day then head to Cowes for an overnight stay.
As we got out to the Solent sea was as expected bit choppy and very busy, the missus is a fair weather boater anything other than flat calm and she is fretting.
To throw coals on the fire we had to deal with a couple of 50’+ fly bridge boats giving no room to other boats in the vicinity. This resulted in a u turn and a total right off of the weekend plans.

The question is do I need a 50’ fly and be and inconsiderate ar** or is there an alternative?
So far it’s either move elsewhere or head out earlier as the funds don’t stretch to a 50’ fly ?

We were in Lymington last year and it’s not as intense as leaving the Hamble but moved from Lymington for a shorter travel time to the boat.

Any tips to make a nervous boater more at ease? Currently got her watching boats v haul over but it isn’t helping .
Click to expand...
What boat have you got?
 
Nothing wrong with the size of boat. Sometimes sitting inside can make things worse. You can see the boat moving about more due to your view being framed. Open boats are better from that aspect….but worse in other ways etc…

Trying going up Southampton water….overnight at ocean village. Helps build confidence.

Then go north channel to Portsmouth….maybe up to port Solent. Lots to see on the way. Both trips close to shore and generally quieter….except Portsmouth harbour entrance but that’s over pretty quick

After that…north channel and over to osbourne bay and so on. It’s a busy time of year on the Solent but there are quieter routes for sure
 
That's (your mf) a relatively small boat so it's going to get knocked around a bit by wakes from bigger boats and just the weather in general,but it won't be in any danger, boating in a small boat is like that,not much can be done about it except go bigger.

I think you just need to demonstrate that while your boat might be moving about a fair bit,it's not in any danger and not going to capsize or sink.

But if she just doesn't like the motion then you're probably out of luck, time to buy a bigger boat, go out on your own, or find a new hobby (or wife)
 
Been where you are and got that T shirt, to enjoy boating BOTH parties need to enjoy the day,, my wife was the same, except it was busy days coming out of Poole by the chain ferry and the turbulence around old harry. Many could argue it was safe but she didn’t feel that way and guess which view mattered. We had a 24’ open boat, our answer was to find a boat she felt comfortable with, that was stable and gave confidence. in our case it was a 35‘ Windy (open cockpit). Cost is at a different level but so is the boating, we have just returned from 2 weeks away Poole to Plymouth then onto Looe for the day and she loved it. Sadly bigger does seem better and while it may not be 50 foot it sounds like you are heading upward from where you are. If changing up is an issue then find a location which gives you the conditions that your suit boat and your missus, if you don’t you sadly will join the singlehanded sailors ?
 
Doesn’t have to be a massive 50ft fly, the SC35 inspires enough confidence from a “coping with waves” point of view.
But the S28 went “everywhere” too … cross channel etc.
 
Meagain said:
Been where you are and got that T shirt, to enjoy boating BOTH parties need to enjoy the day,, my wife was the same, except it was busy days coming out of Poole by the chain ferry and the turbulence around old harry. Many could argue it was safe but she didn’t feel that way and guess which view mattered. We had a 24’ open boat, our answer was to find a boat she felt comfortable with, that was stable and gave confidence. in our case it was a 35‘ Windy (open cockpit). Cost is at a different level but so is the boating, we have just returned from 2 weeks away Poole to Plymouth then onto Looe for the day and she loved it. Sadly bigger does seem better and while it may not be 50 foot it sounds like you are heading upward from where you are. If changing up is an issue then find a location which gives you the conditions that your suit boat and your missus, if you don’t you sadly will join the singlehanded sailors ?
Click to expand...
She does enjoy all other aspects of boating but so far I am struggling to build her confidence in anything but relatively flat seas.

Her sitting in the aft cockpit helps but then i might as well be singlehanded, she has mentioned a bigger boat and we are selling a property in Spain so a move up is possible. Being in Lymington last year there were a few windy’s about always caught my eye?
 
I might suggest a look round a Bene Swift Trawler or suchlike might be a useful way of spending a weekend to gage her appetite for other styles. Sealine 34 is a natural step up boat but if you have say €300k Euro to invest maybe buying a Spanish boat and keeping it out there might be a idea at say Denia ,Valencia? You could end up with a Cranchi in Spain or that Windy of course. Are you going to win her over by an Aquapar 37 maybe?
 
Martxer said:
Any tips to make a nervous boater more at ease? Currently got her watching boats v haul over but it isn’t helping .
Click to expand...

Welcome to a well trodden path
If its any help , any next boat up worth changing to , always costs twice as much as your present boat.
If you can accept this, you are set for a long term relationship with saying goodbye to large amounts of money.
Minor upgrades and moving sideways regards boats will only ever prove to be an act of folly.
Carpe Diem. :)
 
Last edited:
Still getting my wife used to the idea, she has gone from a total NO to Oh this is nice, but I have not taken her out in anything more than a gentle 2ft chop, mind you it was blowing and the rain was intense.
She was not sick which was a huge plus as she gets queasy on a North Sea Ferry, getting her to helm put a huge smile on her face, so it's going fine, especially as her best friend in Scotland is a stick and rag sailor, though she has not managed to persuade my wife to go out yet.
 
My good lady used to, as she put it, ’feel seasick getting out of the bath’ and had no interest in boats when we bought our first many moons ago. We had some hairy experiences in the early days and it is a miracle that she stuck with it so my advice would be to take it easy and don’t push too much as she gets used to it.

Experience builds confidence and we are now on our sixth mobo and we also have a small sailboat. We have charted yachts abroad and have cruised our mobos extensively on the east coast and a couple of jaunts to Holland. She now loves it as much as I do ?
.
 
With regard to your wife; how about getting her to do the PB1 and PB2 courses. It will give her a proper understanding of boats and help with her confidence and engagement. She might well feel inclined to helm and embrace boating.
Boat size; bigger is obviously better most times in terms of stability, but how about going for something like a Duchy 27. It will be far less rocky and more stable and a lovely looking, well built boat. Good to cruise at mid teens kts.
 
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