Cheap weddings

[jimi]

I've got 3 daughters so I perform the marriage ceremonies myself I'll save a fortune. Am I entitled to do this in international waters? If so what country does the "marriage" belong to? If I can do marriages can I also do divorces?

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[hlb]

How about this http://www.wcm.org/lovlift.mid ey thats brilliant!!Not sure this would do as the wedding march??<A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.wcm.org/rockof.mid>http://www.wcm.org/rockof.mid</A>

<hr width=100% size=1> [image]http://usa.venus.co.uk/weed/agifs/images83/smiling.gif">Haydn

 

[Joe_Cole]

Dunno why you just want to save money. Why don't you look on this as a way of making money and try selling them? I'm sure that the standard RYA contract could be modified accordingly.

Joe

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[ParaHandy]

Easy ... peasy ....

Firstly we need to talk to Hello & OK. Start a bidding war, want a couple of mil each. Then, book the venue. I can think of no better boat than Claymore (tell the hacks it’s an ocean liner) though check to see if he’s fitted the double glazing to the patio and if the Ebersplotcher is working – a large dollop of soot all over the bride’s nuptial gown is not going to please Mum. Review gift list and slip in a few useful items eg oilies, boots, sails etc. Invite far more people than boat can take and send unwanted invitees to wrong place.

So far so good ……….

We don’t want too many post nuptial complications (we don’t want them back for a re-match) nor do we want to keep the grooms’ lot waiting while we chug out to international waters at 5 knots. I’d suggest a correspondence course at the Californian Pentecostal – the wee frees at Tobermory are affiliated so we’re well in there. A justice o’ the peace would do as second best but yin might be harder to find and, anyway, so much better tae dae it a’ yersel, ahm thinking.



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[Ohdrat]

Re: You wanna save money...

and you have a boat????????????? /forums/images/icons/crazy.gif

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[claymore]

Re: Easy ... peasy ....

Para an masel cuid ston as kind O'witness fer a wee fee. Ra boat is at yer service an we ken a few braw lads - nae doot ye'll be wantin tae arrange ra hale shebang - includin wha yer lassies is wed tae.Ma ain dochter is still not spoken fer an a wiz wunnerin if we micht com tae som hamicable arrangement where a get tae see ra back o' her in simultaneous fashin. Whet a drink we cuid hae then jamesie. Jings mon.D'ye no think Para has a wee bit o' an ecclesiatical slant tae him - ah'm sure we cuid dress him up tae be ra minister.

<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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[ParaHandy]

Re: Easy ... peasy ....

Mon I near forgot tae mention, Jimi, that we should gie ra boat length in inches to ra hacks as orrry thing else is ............!

Ah could fair do wi seeing the back o' ma dauchter as weel. Finding a guid man's awfy difficult these days.

Yer richt there mon, ah'll turn my haund tae the meenistering. Ah kin dae eether the nu testerament orra auld yin jist so's youse know, ken, ahm weel versed in the ways orra episcopalians.

Wull youse be pitting the markee up ahent the patio?

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[BrianJ]

Dont be a dill and spend tons of money....not even at sea.
Just buy a long ladder.. ( or a short one if you have a single story house)
BrianJ


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[claymore]

Re: Easy ... peasy ....

Och Para,
youse is a rare mon
whit aboot ye get a divorce frae ra present Missus para an wed ma ain wee lassie?
Think o' th'advantages the sityiatshin wid bring mon - ye'd get tae hae unrivalled access tae ma lectrics an ra patio, Ah'd get a wee doosie on ra tradewind an ye'd be ma suninlaw
Jings

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Claymore
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[Happy1]

Check out the site below, it was on Mobo a while ago. You can become an ordained reverend in 3 minutes online 100% legal. When it asks if you wish to forgive your sins just click YES, then almost done. It is 100% free to be ordained and print out your ordination certificate and title as Reverand, but you have to pay if you want the books on how to conduct weddings, funerals e.t.c.

<A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.ulc.org/>http://www.ulc.org/</A>

Good luck brother jimi

Regards

Rev Happy1

<hr width=100% size=1><font color=purple> "You only see what you recognise, and you only recognise what you know" <font color=purple>

 

[claymore]

The wee free

Will they recognise it as a valid qualification?

<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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[Happy1]

Re: The wee free

Worth a try, I may conduct a wedding or two at Yarmouth /forums/images/icons/laugh.gif or funeral /forums/images/icons/laugh.gif you just reminded me I must pack my certificate of ordination

<hr width=100% size=1><font color=purple> "You only see what you recognise, and you only recognise what you know" <font color=purple>

 

[claymore]

Re: The wee free

If you don't square yourself up with Haydn and top up the 2 quid you tight sod, you may well be arranging your own funeral!!
2 quid after all the lip you gave him - its people like you that give the rest of us a bad name - What would have been wrong with sending £2:50?

<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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[tcm]

Re: Universal Life Church

Oh, this is all very legal. For example, if you are a member of the clergy, you are forbidden to stand for jury service. It was an extra $10 to be a bishop and $25 to be a saint back at the time I took holy orders and pressed the "ordain" button in 1997.

Reverend tcm

 

[tcm]

Hm. When someone reports that their wedding "cost ten grand" it is not normal that the vicar gets all the loot. He's the cheap bit.

Of much greater value would be the sailing to and from the church, or having the reception on the pontoon, and of course, then arranging the honeymoon on the boat too.

I am guessing that you haven't dared to mention to the girls yet.

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[Happy1]

Re: Universal Life Church

tcm, perhaps you could hold confessional PM sessions for people to be cleansed of their forum sins /forums/images/icons/laugh.gif

I don't need your services I'm afraid, but I know some who would /forums/images/icons/laugh.gif

<hr width=100% size=1><font color=purple> "You only see what you recognise, and you only recognise what you know" <font color=purple>

 

[jimi]

Funnily enough I have'nt had time to discuss this with the harridae. I thought I'd better establish the legalities before declaring this as a family policy. I had thought also that perhaps if one had a choice of jurisdiction in international waters then one could opt for India where multiple wives are an option.

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[tcm]

Re: Universal Life Church

I'm afraidthat the bumpf in the email from Modesto, California says that we are all sinners, brother Happy1. And did not even Jesus himself say "Who the flippinek has pinched my fish sandwich!"

Anyway, i have typed in the appropriate sin deletion commands on your behalf, and selected five prayers to run in the background at the same time, so you should be okay for the rest of the day at least.

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[Happy1]

Re: Universal Life Church

At least I can meet my fellow brother forum members tonight with a cleansed soul /forums/images/icons/wink.gif I may be back on Sunday evening for another cleansing session, there could even be a rush, so be ready /forums/images/icons/laugh.gif

<hr width=100% size=1><font color=purple> "You only see what you recognise, and you only recognise what you know" <font color=purple>

 

[tcm]

Re: Universal Life Church

I will leave the screen on over the weekend with the prayers bouncing around. That should do it. INcidentally, although I can cleanse you soul for free, lifetime absolution and a free prayer mat is $10.

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