Perhaps a great big parachute flare. I could be let off from some headland somewhere... Hmm... The CG may not be too happy - imminent danger to life may not apply except to anyone else in the vicinity! It certainly wouldn't be allowed anywhere near a crematorium!
On second thoughts - a massive vibrator!!? Prince Charles may have beaten me to that one.
"On second thoughts - a massive vibrator!!? Prince Charles may have beaten me to that one."---- I believe it was a tampon he wished to be . Poor ol' cammy. sad B'stard .