Call Me God ....

[ParaHandy]

By a strange coincidence an e-mail destined for the Lord Chancellors office was returned “address unknown” and came through the ether to my postbox. Not normally a recipient for such mail, my curiosity got the better of me and I opened it. To my surprise it was a late revision to the honours list and several names caught my attention …..

The honours bestowed were KCMG (Kindly Call Me God). GCMG (God Calls Me God) and CMG (Call Me God) and the recipients were:

KCMG: Jimi for services to olfactory science
CMG: TwisterKen for services to paparazzi photography
GCMG: Claymore for services to fashion
KCMG: TCM for services to the traditional full English

Alas, my own name was not to be seen although the transmission was garbled …… and, in any event, what depths will Blair sink to curry favour, eh??



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[BrendanS]

I thought Major had been currying favour with Edwina. Has Blair been at her too?

<hr width=100% size=1>Err, let me know if Depsol enters the forum, I'll go and hide

 

[Twister_Ken]

Surprising insight

Came to me in a flash.

If you don't have a holding tank, you don't get holding tank smells!

Astonishing, innit?

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[ParaHandy]

Re: Surprising insight

... is that a F7/8 flash or the one done whilst wearing a raincoat ??!!!





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[BrianJ]

OK Para.. ya missed out on them there Pommie awards.. but you still qualify for an OZ award.. the BGB award ( Bloody Good Bloke)
BrianJ

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[Twister_Ken]

Re: Surprising insight

or the sort made by a camera, visible even through reversed headgear?

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[jimi]

Bugger me ..

in the 3 years I've had the boat .. its never struck me that I might have a holding tank .. where would I look to see if I've got one?

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[Twister_Ken]

Re: Bugger me ..

Just trace back the distinctive odour...

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[jimi]

Ah\'m no sae sure aboot this..

Jist how far back do I have to trace?

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[ParaHandy]

Brendan chatting to T Blair .....
"Are there no Tory policies since 1997 that you have not followed?"
TB, palms spread, head cocked slightly over, eyes wide open ... "Trust me, Brendan, we'll never shag their wimmen" ....

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[claymore]

Re: Ah\'m no sae sure aboot this..

Jamesie
last year wiz ra year o' ra battery we didnae ken we had
Cuid this be ra year o' ra secret turdtank?

<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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[claymore]

Para...

Ra langwidge....ripe fer a monday I feel, Kim'll be slappin yer grundieless wee bottie if yer no' carefu'

<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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[ParaHandy]

Re: Claysie...

ah dinna use ma aild yins fur a ensign .....

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[claymore]

Re: Claysie...

Fair enuff ma shun - ah wiz in ra gless hoos wi that remairk - m'apoligies. When ye wiz towin ra dinghy back - did ye tie ra painter tae yer wullie tae gie ye a honds free swum?

<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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[ParaHandy]

Re: Claysie... gless hoose

dinna telt ye've feenally goat ra patio glessed up and double glazed ? Ah bet ye've got yon closhes saes ye can grow ra cauli?

Onyways ra water wis a wee bit cauld for yon idea ................

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[claymore]

Re: Claysie... gless hoose

Weel Para, m'auld pal - ah wiz jes thinkin' as hoo sen its bin 50 year sen yon Hillary climbed oot o ra Vallerie tae ra top o' rad wurld wi yer man Tenshin - ah'd esconse masel in ra joys o' yin Everest stuff. Ah thocht tae masel abot ra maintenance but - there's a fair chance ah'm gannin tae be paying that tae Dear Heart ef ma wind problem disnae improve - sae ah've get fit up wi' ra UPVC.
Ah' hef tae sae its grand - as youse know Para - we aften gets they F11s an tae be honest wi ye - ah cannae hear a whisper - which is reassurin I feel.
Sae ra watter was a wee bit nippy - are we confessin tae ra midget gem then raither than yer fu' monhood?

<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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[ParaHandy]

Re: Claysie... wind

can ye nae bottle it ? Ahm certain ra turists wid be verra pleased tae reseeve ra scotch mist ... ra label, michty me, wid hae a good image o yon brassicas

ye no think jimi's turd tank micht be overflowing into ra engine ... ?



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[claymore]

Re: Claysie... wind

Ah wiz thinkin aboot jamesies turdtank and wi ra new infermashen aboot they cloods o' blacksmoke ah'm sure there's a link tae the stink

<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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[tcm]

Re: Argh - 3yearold pressurised holding tank.

I mus say i fail to understand how the smells get worse and worse, and independent of whether type 1 or type 2...unless there's a holding tank. I mean, humans (even those on board) are simply unable to make those smells. Even if there isnt a holding tank, there's summink a bit orf with the pipes somewhere, and a nasty surprise awaits.

If there was a holding tank, it would be probably be in a compartment behind the heads near the bog itself, up against the side of the hull? But it may now not be recognisable as a holding tank, and might be under considerable pressure.

I don't think htank would be a std fit for a uk boat, though.

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[Twister_Ken]

Re: Argh - 3yearold pressurised holding tank.

Stand back, she's gonna blow.

<hr width=100% size=1><A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.writeforweb.com/twister1>Let's Twist Again</A>