Boat off mooring - salvage claim... Again?! Arrr!

solent clown said:
either way it is more pleasant to be laughing with someone than at them, so I for one am hoping you have an alter ego on here, and this is by way of some jolly. Otherwise I fear for you. your carer should never have let you near the water in the first place
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FB has been very specific and answered most questions but he seems to have dodged that one
 
.
Fatbeard said:
Also, silly of me I know, but I can't help but feel that publishing photos may expose myself and all concerned to ridicule and abuse.
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Hmmmm . . . some might say you have done that adequately without illustrations, so nothing to lose eh? And - trust me on this one - ridicule and abuse in this place are merely signs of affection :D

solent clown said:
either way it is more pleasant to be laughing with someone than at them, so I for one am hoping you have an alter ego on here, and this is by way of some jolly. Otherwise I fear for you. your carer should never have let you near the water in the first place
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Spyro said:
FB has been very specific and answered most questions but he seems to have dodged that one
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Mods might take a dim view and the hirsute blubbery one's Lounge career would be short-lived. As it is it promises to be most entertaining.

- W
 
Vega1447 said:
OK,
you swam downwind in 40 knots of wind to the casualty.

Did I miss where you explained how you swam upwind in 40 knots of wind back to your boat?

:)
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.... whilst wearing a life jacket and carry a grab bag which included a full set of tools and everything apart from the kitchen sink .... although even that might have snuck in there as well. :)

Richard
 
RichardS said:
.... whilst wearing a life jacket and carry a grab bag which included a full set of tools and everything apart from the kitchen sink .... although even that might have snuck in there as well. :)

Richard
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Of course it isn't easy to swim whilst wearing a lifejacket. A buoyancy aid, no problem, but lifejackets don't exactly help one to swim.
 
It's that long ago since I started reading this post I can't remember, did it start with "once upon a time"?
 
Brilliant thread, Fatbeard. Don't suppose it was you that was recued by an inshore lifeboat after your caravan floated off at high tide?

;)
 
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A1Sailor said:
Of course it isn't easy to swim whilst wearing a lifejacket. A buoyancy aid, no problem, but lifejackets don't exactly help one to swim.
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The lifejacket was a Special Spinlock Super Plus with twin outboards attached. :)

I'm sure the OP could claim something in salvage. All he has to do is write it up intelligibly for the Admiralty court....

Ah, OK, maybe the owner will give him a bottle of wine.
 
Fatbeard said:
Ok...

@TSB240 ... Yes ay be a pirate. Arrr! Yes, other people think it's a strange first post. Money? Yes please. Privacy? several reasons... Let's just say that although I have several moorings this place is a bit special, and surrounded by very edgy landowners... enough said. Also there is the security of my own boat to consider. Also possible angry / pizz poor reactions from weird geezers on the internet - your post is sort of a textbook example in some respects if you don't mind me saying. Crowing? Two fingers? Chancer of the lowest order? Your opinion - you are entitled to it. And I am entitled to disagree and ignore you (howls of laughter here).
@RichardS ... exactly. The fuss is because these guys picture themselves in this position and quite rightly think f**k that haha!
Yes, 40kts is a little edgy... I have been woken up two years ago just off this mooring at 3am to find myself and my boat in 70+kts gusting well beyond. Ofc my anchor sort of held, and I was aboard. Another story for another time.
@sailaboutvic thanks for the welcome and yes broadly I feel as you do. However we are both foolish to think so... easy test... how would I react if situation reversed? Pay the salvor exactly what he asks for as long as the claim seems valid, the boat is returned or made available for removal and his price is not extreme. 10% of my boat's worth would seem a small price and a sharp lesson ... + a bottle or two and thank my stars. Another easy test ... would you go through that day for £5? £50? £500? or £5000?
@Sarabande ... Helping other sailors ... down with that, as long as I can do it from the comfort of my own home, a pub, or at least on their time.
@A1Sailor ... thanks for the welcome. Without saying too much, my boat is a small homebuild grp sailboat from the 60's with a 1hp seagull engine from the 1950s.
@Shan ... thanks for the encouraging words ... but the guys have a point about the lock. Silly of me and a lesson for the future... agreed I too hope the owner thinks carefully about this!
@JumbleDuck ... agreed.
@Davidej ... you seem skeptical? Agreed chocolate would be a welcome addition to the bag. Swimming in 40kt wind is easy... just don't try to swim against it! Worst part is the initial fear. Of the three other modern boats stranded here two have low freeboard and the 26 footer had a boarding ladder. Sadly I wasn't on scene for those.
@Prix ... there IS a lamp hung on the back of my boat. It's cute and old timey. Does that comfort you?
@CLB ... You're right ... I may have mislead you about how fat I am... the rest is true. Let me ask you - could you make something this silly up? I must add that you may be a very high functioning chump to be so helpful to the stupid and unlucky. No offence. Get tested you may be special. In a good way.
@BlowingOldBoots ... you're right it doesn't feel very sporting.
@Biggles Wader ... too early to discuss female lead? Never give up on the appearance of a love interest. Mrs. Fatbeard hasn't. Kidding she given up but I haven't /wink.
@WF36 ... lol "breeder"!
@Daydream believer ... can you swim? Pull her ashore was the only option I was left with... up to my balls in mud and clinging to the shoreline. Secured her to the shrubs lining the edge of the dyke / breakwater. Try it ... most shrubs are strong enough, brambles are second best... springy. Wind blowing her onshore / rolling ... yes and it took me a while to figure out how she kept catching and pinwheeling away from the shoreline. Can you guess the source of her strange motion? Hacksaw and decent snips took less than two minutes despite broken hacksaw blade (too keen)... snips cut the last mil or 2. Tying her port aft quarter stopped the pinwheeling and the wind kept her in place. +1 Poundland cheapo nylon braid. Yes, I do think I have been reasonably helpful.
@Solent clown ... I dislike the derogatory suggestion that I remind you of rats? Or is it a compliment? Have you ever eaten rat? Mmmm chickeny! The back 2/3 of a rat ... skinned, legs and tail removed and deep fried in 11 secret herbs and spices looks EXACTLY like a KFC breast portion. Pop down after this is all over... bring a few large, dead but fresh rats and I'll treat you to them cooked.
@Dom, Shan others... Hacksaw and decent snips.
@langstonelayabout I empathise. Bridges show little remorse.
@Praxinoscope ... Trained to thrill with my hair bands.
Yes I have done exactly 2 radio shows ... one incognito one under my own name oops. No I am not Paddy Ashdown and find it unlikely you would recognise me. Just some guy.
@Spyro ... actually I did have a camera ... did use it and have video and photographs of the events and aftermath. Also, oddly, there were two witnesses in a very smart and hi powered speedboat who kept doing passes at ++ knots (they must be sillier than I am to pick that morning for a jolly) but not helping me or the salvage... in fact stonily ignored me and the unfolding situation despite my winning good looks and friendly waves and smiles, but did wizz by several times anyway. Yes I have piccys of them too.

So ... anyone want to bet that this did not go just exactly as described? Some of you seem silly enough. Lets say £50?
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How long did it take to compose this tome❓

Clearly time to spare so look forward to seeing you on other threads or is this one-of, if so why post it❓

All very strange‼️
 
solent clown said:
either way it is more pleasant to be laughing with someone than at them, so I for one am hoping you have an alter ego on here, and this is by way of some jolly. Otherwise I fear for you. your carer should never have let you near the water in the first place
Click to expand...

��

Alter ego❓

A good point so a Quiz.

WHO IS FB❓Are they Male or Female❓WHERE IS FB❓

Deleted User or Viago❓
After all their monickers are missing from the thread and they like this type of wind up❓

How many man(woman) hours have been spent on this thread❓

Do I really care❓
 
I really hope that FB is real, and that we get to see at least one pic of the adventure. I reckon FB would be a useful guy to have aboard. And some followup from the owner of the rescued boat needed.

Just wondering where this could have taken place. Muddy ground, sounds like a creek with low banks and no fetch, shallow, lots of small moorings, big road bridge, adjacent land with sensitive owners. Possibly top end of Southampton Water near one of the MoD or ABP installations ?

The story reeks of veracity.
 
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