Your Names Explained

PGD

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Joined
9 Jul 2001
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www.peter-davey.com
So you all know who you really are now - bit rude in places, but funny, was sent to me at work.
Real Meanings of Men's Names

> Aaron - ugly but hung like a horse, prone to belly button fluff.
> Adam - cute, funny, chicks dig him, well hung but very caring.
> Adrian - usually short and very horny, watches cartoons.
> Alan - shy but sensitive, gets screwed over by women.
> Alex - cute and short but a liar and a cheat.
> Amir - Dirty, Smelly, Pecker is minuscule.
> Andy - boring and has a small pecker.
> Andrew - gay and still has a small pecker.
> Antonio - has a great body and beautiful skin, and chicken brain.
> Anthony - great guy and kind to all girls, smells of weed.
> Arnold - loser.
> Arthur - hung like a slave and celibate.
> Barry - lights fires, pinches girls bottoms and is well hung.
> Ben - funny and can be real difficult to beat at games.
> Bob - quiet and unpopular, eats with his hands.
> Brad - thinks everyone likes him...but they don't.
> Brandon - good looking but uses girls.
> Brendan - quiet and sweet, gets beaten up all the time.
> Brett - world wide slut and really insensitive, women love him.
> Brian - mean and only thinks of himself, no he's not the Messiah he's just
> a naughty boy.
> Bryan - sexy, but stupid - can't spell.
> Bronsen - annoying and never grows up - has a stupid name.
> Bruce - stinks bad and thinks everyone else's name is also Bruce.
> Bryce - fun to be with and will make you laugh, you'll kill him within a
> week.
> Calvin - immature in a naive way, drives a Gemini.
> Cameron - Australian
> Carl - thinks he's funny...he's not, falls asleep during sex.
> Carson - fun to be around and really sensitive.
> Chad - cute, sensitive and very studly - only found in American movies no
> real person has that name.
> Charles - can't trust him, eyes too close together.
> Chris - can't pull, will pay for women, but has a huge pecker and can use
> it too.
> Christian - very sexy and seductive (think 'Legends of the Fall').
> Clark - hilarious and always in trouble, problem with 'jailbait'.
> Cliff - very sweet and adores girls, but very superficial.
> Cole - nice, funny, and fun to be around.
> Con - lies to women and blows up public buildings.
> Cory - funny but ugly, ends up running fashion magazines.
> Craig - tries to fit in - he never does.
> Cyril - well, Cyril.
> Damon - total loser in a sweaty sort of way.
> Dan - quiet but funny, but becomes easily addicted to narcotics.
> Dane - weird but can hold together a conversation with a mermaid.
> Daniel - enjoys root vegetables in every orifice.
> Darren - charming , but sleeps with men.
> Daryl - smells bad, has no real mates
> David - hotty and works out a lot, loves girls named Florence.
> Dave - extremely sexy, always funny, intelligent, stylish, trendsetter -
> i.e. a wanker.
> Dean - full of himself and thinks with his dick.
> Dennis - either very nice to girls or a faggot.
> Derek - has a great sense of humour, and blow-up doll collection.
> Dominic - hilarious and will do anything to please.
> Don - dickhead.
> Doug - has a greasy face, drinking problem and farts.
> Drew - bad-arse losers who never shuts up.
> Dylan - horny bastard, who can't sing.
> Dwayne - cool guy to be around if you can handle his name.
> Eddie - wants too many chicks he'll never get cos he's an arsehole.
> Emrys - Load mouth gobby Shitte.
> Elliott - Full of himself
> Eric - shy.Erik - funny and treats girls how he wants to be treated.
> Evan - a little slow but sweet, sexy, and model mental patient.
> Frank - "different" - missing DNA - favours girls named Lucy.
> Gareth - sweet but dresses too good to be straight.
> Gary - drug addict but willing to share.
> Gavin - likes bondage, S&M with other men.
> Geoff - prefers golf to sex and war to peace.
> George - barman who drinks more than he serves.
> Glen - the sweetest guy - really down to earth
> Greame - very hard to understand, likes group sex
> Graham - will screw anything
> Grant - HORNY! but so sweet and you can talk to him about anything.
> Greg - really sweet and feels sorry for himself.
> Guy - Covers his back, has a small dick.
> Harvey - cute, but addicted to sex and/or drugs.
> Hathem - smooth, but very manipulative, not to be trusted around young
> girls.
> Haydn - tries hard.
> Howard - likes small-breasted women and pornography (doesn't everybody!).
> Ian - really popular but knows all the girls want him...yeh right!!!
> Jake - shy and sweet but a slut when drunk.
> Jamie - Scum of the Earth.
> James - built like a horse.
> Jay - very sweet when you get to know him well.
> Jeff - really ugly.
> Jerome - gay, but very unhappy.
> Jeremy - loud and thinks that he's all that he says he is.
> Jesse - unpopular and needs to move on.
> Jack - stupid but hot. Always alright.
> Jim - sweet, has fantasies of love and affection.
> Joe - built like a bear, sexy but tends to lose his head.
> Joel - arse.
> John - has no friends or life - tends to kill small animals.
> Jonathon - think he's good - he's shit.
> Jordan - sexy but weird in bed.
> Jose - hot boy with a love of hermaphrodites.
> Josh - full of himself, fun.
> Junior - hotty and totally good at football.
> Justin - aggravating but lovable, insecure but successful.
> Kain - the sexiest guy alive but very stuck up.
> Kevin - Always attracts really fit girlfriends also has a large penis,
> really nice to women.
> Keith - good person to talk to when you have a problem - his is worse.
> Kenneth - very, very...anything you want him to be.
> Kim - very understanding and caring, feels lost in Korea.
> Kurt - can kick anyone's arse, likes small boys.
> Ky - see Kain.
> Kyle - hornball who eats too many cornchips.
> Larry - cute but wannabe player with big arse.
> Laurey - short and funny looking.
> Lee - girl dressed up as a boy, total arse bandit.
> Lewis - lonely, sad git, bit of a tosser.
> Lyndon - can always be found in bed or in the pub.
> Liam - loud mouthed arsehole, normally found in rock bands and pubs.
> Lorenzo - fine and dresses in stolen gold.
> Lucas - fat loser that dates other men.
> Luke - seems to be sweet - Luke Solomons exactly!
> Malcolm - tall man who tends to lose his trousers.
> Marc - Fantasises about pretty lights, doesn't drink, doesn't smoke -
> Tries to tell everyone Mark - wished girls liked him for who he is not his
> great looks, mouthy bastard though.
> Matt - the Fat Boy of the class,likes sweets and is full of shit.
> Michael - very good looking but he'll do anything for a girl, which is
> totally sweet.
> Mick - always drunk, tendency for drug abuse.
> Mitchell - the ugliest dog and he don't get any.
> Mohammed - Small Penis
> Nathan - stupid as hell, and tends to make others feel dumb.
> Nick - HORNY! but really nice - can't get past the missionary position
> though.
> Neil - sweet and will do anything in this world for you, great in bed.
> Noel - an absolute diamond, sexy, funny and faultless....apart from when
> it comes to sorting out contents insurance for his home
> Oliver - likes men but is in denial.
> Oscar - loser, a good name for a dog.
> Owen - cute gay guy who is immature, and sings Welsh songs.
> Patrick - cool, calm and handsome, a quality only found in pricks.
> Paul - drunk, drunk, drunk.
> Peter - cutie but very shy, makes women feel like virgins.
> Phillip - stupid idiot who wishes he were cool.
> Rashpal - C@@t
> Reagen - ...strange.
> Rhys - great lover but had his mind stolen by aliens a long,long time ago.
> Richard - cant see his feet balls are to big
> Ricky - ugly shithead who everybody hates.
> Rikki - see above.
> Rob - constantly watches porn.
> Roy - total loser and computer genius.
> Rupert - arrogant twat who is crap in bed but thinks he is a stud.
> Russell - likes to play in the leaves which makes him an arsehole.
> Ryan - short but sexy body and even sexier mind.
> Sam - wannabe sex machine.
> Scott - has serious disabilities.
> Sean - has small testicles and no friends.
> Seth - so sweet to other people but is a traitor.
> Shane - thinks everybody wants to shag him - he's a virgin.
> Shannon - the most determined and persevering sweetie in the world.
> Shaun - bit of a hard bastard, thinks women love him.
> Simon - likes a night out with the lads and curries. Talks bollocks.
> Steve - popular and funny when looked at side-on.
> Stuart - droll guy with great arse and suicidal tendencies but great in
> bed.
> Tim - hot but a bit strange, can never tell where he is.
> Toby - best blow ever.
> Tom - cool but can be arrogant.
> Tony - hot, sweet, and totally fun to be around.
> Travis - fat and horny with the best XXX collection to be found.
> Trevor - sweet and funny but sometimes untrustworthy.
> Troy - cute and popular.
> Taylor - gay.
> Warren - cool, homosexual guy.
> Wesley - great guy and easy to tolerate.
> Will - wishes he were popular.
> Zach - sweet and polite and adorable.
> Zahid - devious and sly. Not to be trusted.
>
> AND HERE ARE THE LADIES

> Ada - Blue haired, smells of wee.
> Aileen - laughs like a demented dog. likes tic tacs
> Alison - Bra and pants are the same garment, looks better with the light
> off.
> Amanda - I.Q. tends to be smaller than bra size. Probably a good shag
> though.
> Amy - Devious, Likes being on top, never stays the night - Not to be
> trusted.
> Andrea - Small breasts, drinks pints.
> Angela - Vain, Hair style more important than oxygen. Usually found
> hanging around toilets.
> Annabelle - Doesn't wear knickers.
> Annette - She's BIG.
> Anne - Looks like a horse, can't drive.
> Barbara - Shags like a rabbit, not fussy about appearance.
> Belinda - Pleasing on the eye, usually has a couple of good points.
> Beryl - Repressed alcoholic.
> Beverley - Trapped in an eighties timewarp.
> Bianca - Ginger.
> Bridgette - Eats pizzas all day, smokes cigars.
> Britney - Falsely improved, no use to society.
> Camilla - replaces the word 'yes' with 'ya'.
> Carina - Looks like the back of a bus, doesn't swallow.
> Caroline - Lard arse, shaves her ears.
> Catherine - Attracted to the older man, needs ironing.
> Claire - Usually neurotic, gives good head, can have lesbian tendencies.
> Celine - Emits hideous noises, waste of DNA.
> Charlotte - Enjoys tea and cake, farts the national anthem.
> Cheryl - Can fit hand in mouth, eats glass.
> Christine - Likes men in uniform, never warm.
> Daisy - Virgin.
> Danni - Should make nice threesome with sibling.
> Davina - drug induced mental damage, should shave her neck.
> Dawn - Gets up early, smells of chips.
> Deborah - Bites the pillow, uses both hands.
> Denise - Sits on cats eyes, wears too much make up.
> Diane - Enjoys company of animals. Deep as a puddle. Adds nothing to
> society.
> Donna - 70's throw back, likes cabbage.
> Doris - Purple haired, stinks of wee.
> Elaine - Rides side saddle, drinks meths.
> Elizabeth - Born to rock, hates chickens.
> Ellie - Far too attractive for the swear words that come out of her mouth
> Emily - Wears odd socks, can have lesbian tendencies.
> Emma - Gullible and easily swayed by a good looker!
> Estelle - Likes wombles, eats grass.
> Esther - Plump with sagging breasts, normally heavily tattooed.
> Faith - Legs met at knees, can't shag standing up.
> Faye - Wears wellies, can't swim.
> Felicity - She'll stab you with her nipples, plays darts.
> Fiona - Female mud wrestler, gives head.
> Francine - French.
> Gabrielle - French too.
> Gail - Farts a lot, drinks Guinness.
> Gayleen - Big tall woman who talks shite all day.
> Gaynor - Lesbian.
> Geraldine - Too posh for her own good, likes flying.
> Gillian - Dyes her hair green, likes clubbing.
> Gina - Eternal mother, eats nappies.
> Glenda - Eats children, hates smoking.
> Georgina - Wants to be a man.
> Gwyneth - Blubs a lot, wees in the bath.
> Hannah - Needs to be naked at all times, eats kebabs.
> Heather - Shags like a freight train, a screamer.
> Helen - Hangs around with the wrong crowd, Kinky in bed, loves porn.
> Heidi - The hills are alive with the sound of music, likes gherkins.
> Hilary - Frigid.
> Holly - Prickly to the touch, seasonal shagmeister.
> Imogen - Drinks tequila from the bottle, wets the bed.
> Ingrid - Right wing Nazi tendencies, never smiles.
> Isabelle - necessary on a bicycle?
> Jackie - Heroin addict, sold her child.
> Janet - Massive over bite, no neck.
> Jane - Babe, I'd drink her bath water.
> Jasmin - Smells of sewers, eats the heads off rats.
> Jemma - Does anal, wears too much eye make-up.
> Jennifer - Huge breasts, should shave her legs more often.
> Jessica - Virgin, always will be.
> Joanne - Moans in her sleep, cant cook, moans when she wakes up I
> wouldn't!
> Jordan - Ha ha ha ha ha - nuff said.
> Judith - Big eyes, big tits
> Judy - Huge tits, married to an arse.
> Julie - Innocent face, don't trust her, she'll steal your wallet in five
> minutes
> Justine- Massive tits, likes hanging around men's toilets.
> Julia - Jabba the Hutt's sister, constantly pregnant.
> Karen - Huge tits, shags like a rabbit.
> Kate - see Catherine.
> Kelly - smells of cheese, slobbers when kissing.
> Kimberley - wants to be a bloke, drinks like a bloke, farts like a
> bloke,wears a wig.
> Kirsty - Eats live moles, can't dance.
> Kylie - Can't sing but who cares - BOING !!!!!!!
> Kym - Illiterate parents - see Kim.
> Lana - Hated by her parents, accidental pregnancy.
> Lara - Action packed, never seen naked.
> Laura - Likes Max power magazine, can't drive.
> Lauren - Pert breasts, seldom ventures out at night.
> Leah - Likes outdoor sex, wees standing up.
> Lena - Eats food then throws up, rapidly shrinking.
> Leslie - Likes bondage, hates men.
> Linda - Teenage bride, can swallow oranges whole.
> Lindsey - Likes doggy style, doesn't do housework.
> Lisa - Will take all your money and run, gets turned on by porn.
> Liz - Long legged and brainey.
> Lorraine - Constantly whinges, will strip for a packet jellybabies
> Louise/a - Phwoooorrrrrrrrrr, Boing Boing Boing.
> Lucy - Strange dancer, wants to marry her dad.
> Madeline - Drives like a bloke, likes tractors.
> Maggie - Trainspotter, likes plaid.
> Margaret - Lovely mother, very generous.
> Maria - Bangs like a barn door.
> Marie - Life sapping dominatrix. Likes men to do DIY.
> Marina - No get up and go, rusty underwear.
> Marolyn - Eats like a horse, out stays her welcome.
> Martina - Ugly lesbian.
> Martine - Can't act, can't sing, nice tits.
> Matilda - Likes dancing, mainly the waltz.
> Mary - had a little lamb.
> Meg - Cheesy smell, should be spelt with an S.
> Melanie - Can hold 2 bar vacuum orally indefinitely.
> Melissa - Eats dogs, been in prison 6 times for burglary.
> Meryl - Dances like an ape, doesn't realise.
> Michaela - Likes animals, should make a video with them.
> Michelle - Wears white stilettos, dances round her handbag.
> Marsha - Big butt, small brain.
> Monica - Doesn't swallow, should have.
> Naomi - Wannabe diva, more of a diver.
> Nancy - White hair, remembers tanners.
> Natalie - Eats with her mouth open, farts the Nokia phone tune.
> Natasha - Had seven kids before age 17, needs ironing.
> Nell - Hasn't realised WWII has ended, lives in Kent.
> Nicola - Slapper, alcoholic in denial.
> Nina - Stuffs her bra with tissues, been single for years.
> Olga - You can park a bike in her arse crack, excessive facial hair.
> Olive - Oily skin, oils up well.
> Olivia - Neutron bomb.
> Pamela - Gives amazing head, made of plastic.
> Pat - Butt ugly lesbian.
> Paula - Transvestite merchant banker for Basildon.
> Penelope - Pitstop queen, likes men to be stiff.
> Phillippa - Forest forager, likes wild boar.
> Petra - Dead dog.
> Priscilla - likes painting with oils, Duckhams mainly.
> Rachel - Amazing gravity defying breasts, can grip a tenner in her
> cheeks.
> Rebecca - Hairy armpits, orgasms without contact.
> Rhonda - Help me, help me.
> Rosalind - Whahey, nuff said. Maybe 10 years ago.
> Rose - Can be prickly, good head giver
> Roseanne - ERRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH.
> Rula - She measures up well.
> Sadie - Stand up if you're slim, please stand up.
> Sally - Drives a Mustang, fights in pubs.
> Samantha - Loves her brother, has 4 deformed children.
> Sandra - Shags donkeys for fun, bow legged.
> Sarah - Likes pressed flowers and body piercing.
> Selina - Doesn't wear pants, heavy laundry bills.
> Shania - What?
> Sharon - Shags like a locomotive, yo-yo knickers.
> Shirley - Can swallow a Curly Whirly whole, likes bananas.
> Sian - Does mean sheep impression, hates mint sauce.
> Simone - Used to be a shotputter from Cardiff.
> Sinitta - who?
> Sonya - Dirty lady of the night. Often referred to as a "carrier"
> Sophie - Brothel madam, wears a wrinkly corset.
> Stacey -Likes cut off jeans and arseless Speedo's.
> Steffi - Closet lesbian, maintains heterosexual relationship for effect.
> Stephanie - Eats Muppets, wears Brogues.
> Sue/Susanne - should shave more often, wears Denim aftershave.
> Tanya - Hot minx, too short.
> Tara - Upper class slapper, needs extra chemicals.
> Tiffany - who?
> Tina - Face like a smacked arse, should eat less.
> Tori - Lives a hedge, can't water ski.
> Tracy - Easily swayed by alcohol. Mostly seen without underwear.Loves
> kittens.
> Tracey - Lesbian.
> Ulrika - ka ka ka ka ka ka ka ka.
> Ursula - Likes puppies, in curry.
> Vicky- Likes Yoga. And Women.
> Wendy - Possibly a man.
> Zoe - Talentless rock chick. Prepared to use sex as a weapon.
> Zandra - Strange appearance, eats guinea pigs dipped in chocolate
 

suzanne

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Joined
9 Mar 2000
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Re: With a Z please

Samb would definately agree with the shaving, always telling me that my legs are too rough for him.

Suzanne xXx
 

PGD

New member
Joined
9 Jul 2001
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www.peter-davey.com
Think you might be right, I was in two minds as to whether or not to post it - so I'll blame the other mind who made the decision :) - esspecially as I have read more of it.

Any way it was posted to give you all a laugh....... nothing more.

regards

peter - I came out ok in the list :)
 

BarryD

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Joined
10 Sep 2001
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Re: Strike a light Barry !!!

What can I say - "Two out of three's not bad" BTW does Paula + Linda does that equal Pauline?
 
G

Guest

Guest
Re: day of judgement draws closer

Oho, jan 11th what fun 'twill be. Best mind the traffic tho cos it is quite dangerous around that area...
 

jfm

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Joined
16 May 2001
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Jersey/Antibes
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Re: travel directions

My strong advice is travel by tube, or possibly a street-homologated RIB. If you must come by car, best keep your eyes on the road, you never know what might lurch at you :))
 
G

Guest

Guest
Re: travel directions

All I can say is that I haven't laughed that hard in a long, long, long time.........!!~!!

Funny thing is...many of the people I know are just like the post says!!!!~!!!!!
 
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