Yachtsmen getting Divorced

[DavidofMersea]

Each week for the last three weeks, someone has posted saying "My wife has left me". I was suprised at the number of people that then posted saying that their wives had also left them, sometime in the past, me included.

I knew that my wife did not sail when I married her, was this a mistake? I noticed that several wives that sailed had left, so perhaps not.

Is there something about yachtsmen, with or without sailing wives, that makes them unsuitable for marriage?



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[Gunfleet]

David, I have found the solution. I take my boat to interesting harbours (often on the French coast) & my wife comes to visit. You can while away an entire summer like that and everybody's happy.

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[Talulah]

I'm curious if it has happened the other way round. Has anyone left the wife?



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[janie]

Mmmmh! Sorry, but I and nobody else at University would crew for him in dinghies. Now, in everybody but his opinion, it's safer for me to be the skipper (and he crews), but he still wants to be the deciding factor! Whenever our club handicap is so bad that he must skipper I sail dinghies for the series, so the yacht handicap doesn't get worse! It works for us - I don't have to listen to him, and our handicap doesn't get penalised even worse, and the rest of the club thinks the boat goes slower!
Looking forward to the autumn series when I'm dinghy sailing!

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[boatless]

Well - technically - I moved out.

You might have a point. Sailing is one place where pragmatism is not something that has a debatable outcome. Make a decision, have to stick with the consequences?

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[Jeremy_W]

>>> Is there something about yachtsmen, with or without sailing wives, that makes them unsuitable for marriage?

NOW (43 and single) he tells me!

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[snowleopard]

over the country as a whole, 2/3 of all separations are initiated by the woman, so the situation here is not abnormal!

maybe when a sailor leaves his partner he's too busy sailing to post here!

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[doug748]

JohnM, This is a technique we have also used with success, in Jersey and Scilly Isles. What are your favourite spots ie easy transport links, lots to see and do, secure mooring? Brian

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[30boat]

I am going through a divorce myself and one of the reasons the relationship degraded was that my wife lost interest in sailing.We were together for 19 years and sailing was always a big part of our lives.She once even came along for the Manila to Hong Kong trip after the South China Sea race .Then a child came along and that was it.

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[wishbone]

The main problem is the female species!!! we do everything to please them, give them everything they need for a good life, work our bo*****s off for them and the kids, have a shorter life span than them yet they are never happy, THEN along comes the menopause and all hell breaks loose!!!!!!!! I now know why men in their fifties get a younger model..............

<hr width=100% size=1>Wishbone
Rolling, rolling, rolling keep them doggies moving!
Where’s me chuck wagon gone?

 

[pragmatist]

Oh dear - I suppose I should be sad for all those sailors now on their own. But I've spent a lot of years being smug about all those poor chaps nearby who sail on their own.

Then I came to a brutal conclusion. If you sail on your own you don't have someone else to challenge you - where are we going, are the conditions suitable, what item shall we spend the money on ... Most of the solitary male sailors I know ACTUALLY LOVE IT - their boat is the equivalent of the garden shed - get away from her indoors, put your feet up, forget the washing up for days at a time .. (I know cos when I got back to the boat last time he'd "just started" the washing up - I finished it !)

On a more serious note I think the child/grandchild syndrome is the most dangerous. I know of lots of people with smashing boats who cant go off because a new grandchild has just arrived. Maybe the Coopers with Sell up & Sail had some important points about just what you can leave behind.

<hr width=100% size=1>a pragmatist is an optimist with a boat in the UK

 

[Johnjo]

Well im 51 she is 50 we use to sail together all the time, then i started getting more ambitous, sailing longer and further, till she said your better off sailing on your own, so thats the way it has been for the last couple of years....

It suited both of us as we have a young son who is still at school, so i was away sailing more than i was at home.. "what goes round,comes round" and now im paying the cost..
Most of our spare cash was spent on the boat, i have had over 35 yrs boating one way or another, so maybe its time to do a rethink as to my priorities in life, said she always felt second to the boat, and that is wrong....

As to the Menopause, yes she is has been going through it for the last six months, so I now consider myself to be a bit of a expert on it..........as far as that is possible..

One bit of good news is that we are talking again, abet only on the phone, but its a start. so who knows.....

mike


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[pragmatist]

Sorry to hear the sad story - but perhaps your "I always felt second to the boat" might be the key. I fully accept that I come 2nd to the boat and so does he. Crikey if I spent that much on a chap I'd think I was mad.

Couldn't you persuade her that the most fun she and small son could have is to go and do some serious cruising ? Buy her the books, show her the magazine pictures - blimey, even show her last month's YM ! Surely no couple ever has the same objectives - I quote our north/south dilemma - and there are times when I want to hug a tree till my sea-sickness goes away and times when he longs for a comfy armchair or a power shower.

<hr width=100% size=1>a pragmatist is an optimist with a boat in the UK

 

[pessimist]

I come second to the boat eh? Sounds like grounds for divorce to me!

<hr width=100% size=1>A pessimist is an optimist in full possession of the facts

 

[Johnjo]

"I always felt second to the boat"

Yes im sure it is, as i said its time to rethink my priorities,but she always said go off and enjoy yourself in a nice well meant way..so i did..

she has different interests in life to mine, and i did not make much of a attempt to share hers, so i think its time for a change in lifestyle, mind you, i will not sell the boat unless we get back together... but if we do, then that will probably be the outcome, she has shown a interest in the past for a camper van and travel, so maybe that is the way forward for us..

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[pragmatist]

Well look at it logically, sunshine (if that's possible for a chap !) - I can sail off into the wide blue yonder with her and without you - but with you and without her it ain't possible. Sorted ?!

Anyway, another absence of male logic - you can't get divorced if you aren't married.

<hr width=100% size=1>a pragmatist is an optimist with a boat in the UK

 

[Neraida]

Can I just ask why you are answering your own replies? Pessimist and Pragmatist.. Same boat name... same boat type... errrrr... never seen in the same room together?? I think so.

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[Gunfleet]

Re: Yachtsmen not getting Divorced

From Jersey I'd go that bit further south to St Malo and the Rance. Fantastic ferry and cheap plane links and medaevil towns to visit (Dinan, St Malo, Granville). Southern Brittany is chock a block with shortish daysails and lovely towns to rest up in - Vannes, Brest and Redon, for example all have TGV links. You can make the train journey from Vannes to Waterloo - for example - in quite a short day's travelling. You should also consider a period on the inland seas in Holland - Markermeer and Isselmeer. They are both surrounded by both countryside and towns/cities. You can get a good long trip to Amsterdam (Rijksmuseum and all that) and then go north and explore there, often mooring in the centre of town.

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[oldgit]

What sane female

Is going to spend any time at all going nowhere very slowly while leaning at 45 degrees in a smelly mildewy cramped uncomfortable "yacht",without even the basic essential facilities such as shower/heating/TV/DVD/microwave/nice bit of carpet to match comfy sofa and nice view out of patio doors.
Why do you think we have got all the best crumpet......apart from our looks and old fashioned charm of course./forums/images/icons/laugh.gif
Yours A Stinky Esq..

<hr width=100% size=1>Stupid place to leave an island anyway......

 

[Phoenix of Hamble]

Re: What sane female

Damn.....

And all these years I've been trying to decide if all the crumpet was on the stinkies because of either.....

a] the fact that they didn't have to listen to you because of all the engine noise

b] an excuse to wear sunglasses permanently because of all the shiny grey suits being worn

proves how wrong you can be.....


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