Why do you call yourself .......

Because Stanpit is the name of the road that runs between my house and my mooring.
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Geoff
 
I have been reading this forum for quite a while but have never contributed as I couldn’t think of a decent username – well that has been solved

First of all its “Outraged of TUnbridge Wells” That’s Royal Tunbridge Wells as distinct from Tonbridge which is an adjacent town holding the record for the most charity shops and to let signs in a single High Street.

And although I now live in the Medway Towns my partners calls me posh because I grew up in that area which has a TN Postcode.
 
ASLABEND stood for .....
Argyll Stores Limited ABnormal END. This was the error routine where I worked that was called from cobol programs after the detection of a problem (it sorted out messages and return codes to the JCL). When Safeway(formally part of the Argyll group) got taken over and closed down I adopted the name as I'm always a bit iffy about putting personal data on forums and the likes.

Maybe not the prettiest of names, but I'd guess one of the more obscure.
 
Not many people know this, but I am actually a shmoo. Notice, not Shmoo, and especially not schmoo, but shmoo. There aren't many of us about and we seldom meet up, which is good because no-one is quite sure of the plural of shmoo. There were a group of scholars who held that shmooen was the correct plural but they were all burnt at the stake: one at a time mind you, to eliminate the risk of them crying out the heretical "we are shmooen!" as they toasted.
 
Many years ago, whilst travelling through the far East on an old Yamaha 16, running on nothing more than saki and good luck , and wi’ neh more than a shillin t’ me name, I happened across a man, named Mere with a clock-work wooden leg. In return for food, shelter and carb cleaner, i agreed every night to wind his clockwork leg for him. Eventually, I continued on with my travels, only to meet up with Col and Vic, a gap year couple from Budleh Salterton. We would sit out under the stars, swapping yarns and STDs, and eventually i came to tell them of my time with Mere. It was a great surprise to me when they exclaimed in unison ‘Oh, WinderMere’, ‘We’ve met him, gave him that nickname on account of the leg’.
So now when i log on here, and see WinderMereColVic, im reminded of my youth and a happier time.
Oh, no, wait....
 
Major Catastrophe said:
Because I have the ability to turn most activities into a major catastrophe.
Click to expand...

Not as unusual as you may think either; a few years ago I visited the Royal Armoured Corps school in Bovington, and on the way there was reagaled by tales about a dashing young officer by the name of Captain C0ckup - pronounced Co Cup.

Sadly on arriving and enquiring as to his whereabouts we were informed that he had moved on following his promotion to Major...
 
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