Where have all the good women gone?

  • Thread starter Thread starter dom
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Over the 16 years I been contributing to YBW there been many times I was going to log off for good , only other forum members who I know personally and PM from others who I never met have stop me doing so .
I had me fair share of abuse for people who what's to play on words take the Mickey because I have a bad case of Dyslexia ,
what I find worst is others who think by jumping on to the band wagon make them popular ,
I now brought my disability out in the open so everyone know and still at times some wise jack makes a comment .
It can feel at times like , let take a pop at someone then a forum where sailors help each other's .
So I can understand why women and many other people have left YBW .

But Before people start blaming the internet for the problem ,
I also a member on other sailing and cruising sites , where the problem that rises here doesn't happen there .
Going back to my own problem , never once as any one made any comment .
The question we have to ask is , do YBW attract the trolls and if so why .
I wonder if the lounge is where the problem starts and slowly the trolls work there way to PBO, scuttlebutt and all the other forums .
 
steve yates said:
is not the lounge about sailing or just more politics and opinions?
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Both.
There is even a boating section where people post about engine woes and the likes.
And a NSFW bit... somewhat like spot the boat used to be before the Pea Sea brigade got their act together.
There are a few girlies who post but Pauline has left as well as some other stalwarts from here.
Liz is sorely missed.
 
alant said:
I am aware their bits are different, but please don't assume their capabilities in a technical sense is subordinate to men's so called interests.
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I neither said, nor even hinted at that. You read into it what you chose to. Please don’t assume I mean what I did not mean.
 
Kingfisher 4 said:
There are a few on Not The Lounge who used to post on here. Over there nobody complains when posters use swearwords ….. how exciting!
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It's like little Johnny learning that shouting "Bottom" gets teachers attention. So he shouts it all the time. But when teacher ignores his provatation, he soon learns it achieves nothing. If he persists, other children begin to recognise he has nothing to say and ignore him.


Dave says it was an experiment on human behaviour to see what happens if there is absolutely no moderation. One could say it has worked.
 
john_morris_uk said:
And the last few posts instantly demonstrate the attitudes and waspish behaviour that put people off the forum...
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No, I disagree. The test of this is that there is another very strictly moderated sailing forum, which I know well for many years and there are no more women there than here. There is also another unmoderated sailing forum and ditto.
 
There is an unthinking constant casual misogyny that exists on YBW. I mostly put it down to curmudgeonly men who have too little to do and could do with some fresh air but it is quite wearing. I find I now simply abandon reading threads because it's not worth my effort to get worked up over attitudes that belong ion the past.
 
I really think people take these forums far too seriously. Clearly there is a section of "snowflakes", for want of a better word, you know the type- " i have been on here for x yaers and was victim of ridicule because i spelt a word wrong."
well man ( or girl) up and stop grisling. Learn to take a joke
then there are those that cannot take criticism of their idea or way of doing things. Well so what?
If you think you are right then say so and argue your point
. Do not just whine and say you will leave the forum. If you do, ask yourself- who is the loser, you or them. This forum can yield a wealth of information. Not to have access to it is your loss not the loss of those who use it or give it freely..
if you do not like what someone is saying then put your oar in and state your side otherwise stop posting and pick a more interesting thread.
if you do not like the subjects in the lounge thenleave it. If you feel strongly about such subjects then why not post on it.
just treat it like banter in a pub after 3 or 4 pints. You can run the country that way --better than any prime minister
finally if you have a problem such as dyslepsia then do not feel so sad about yourself that you have to post the fact to 10k people on a b..y forum. Shut up about it and get on with life. I suffer from migraine but i think to myself if god decided that migraine was all i had to worry about then he has not actually dealt me a bad hand. It is a lot better than spending my life dribbling in a wheelchair"
dam !!! Should not have posted that, Now people are going to take the p..ss out of my migraine:ambivalence:
 
macd said:
Was that you coming out at dyslexic? Or just nasty?
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No it was not meant to be nasty. It was really a dig at those who claimed to have been hard done by due to comments on the forum. Many of those comments having no malice in them whatsoever. However, the PCbrigade has produced a section of people who put their hands up and scream "hurt" at just about any thing that is said even if it is not pointed in their direction
getting very "lounge" here , sorry!
 
Daydream believer said:
....finally if you have a problem such as dyslepsia then do not feel so sad about yourself that you have to post the fact to 10k people on a b..y forum. Shut up about it and get on with life. I suffer from migraine but i think to myself if god decided that migraine was all i had to worry about then he has not actually dealt me a bad hand. It is a lot better than spending my life dribbling in a wheelchair"
dam !!! Should not have posted that, Now people are going to take the p..ss out of my migraine:ambivalence:
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As I recall it some forumites including the duck - who always plays the ball not the man - wondered whether Vic spoke English as his native language. So Vic sorted it out, the duck apologised as a gentleman does and peace was restored.

As for the 'dyslepsia' bit, let's turn this around and imagine our women folk going on the offensive ...perhaps referring to us as bigoted-old-rag-povos and and that they'd far rather sit on a big mobo beside a tanned bloke with a million quid tucked in his back pocket?

And what if they got really personal? :ambivalence: And if we don't think we'd like it, then why do it?
 
I think the point is that most people on here wouldn't say half the things they say on these forums if they were face to face with another person. It's a little too easy to hide behind a screen. It screams cowardice really.
 
Daydream believer said:
No it was not meant to be nasty. It was really a dig at those who claimed to have been hard done by due to comments on the forum. Many of those comments having no malice in them whatsoever. However, the PCbrigade has produced a section of people who put their hands up and scream "hurt" at just about any thing that is said even if it is not pointed in their direction
getting very "lounge" here , sorry!
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The funny thing, of course, is that it is precisely those who use terms like "the PC brigade" who take constant outrage at things they read online. They seem to be very, very easily hurt.
 
dom said:
As I recall it some forumites including the duck - who always plays the ball not the man - wondered whether Vic spoke English as his native language. So Vic sorted it out, the duck apologised as a gentleman does and peace was restored.
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Yup. I was completely wrong, and in the wrong, over that. Not my greatest moment,
 
Zing said:
The advantage of anonymous aliases as are used on the forum is it is impossible to know the gender of the poster and really, who cares or who should care? I don’t give a damn and if it’s all men then so what? I’m pretty sure that the probability of male dominance in the technical sections is very high and in general in boating forums it will be high, that just reflects men being men and doing things, which generally speaking men are more interested in than women.

Or maybe you are more interested in the feminist narrative, which often says men and women must be forced into equality wherever inequality is seen. Good luck to you if that is your goal. Positive discrimination can’t work here.
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As a matter of interest, to whom is this post addressed?

And as for the 'feminist narrative' going something like this, "which often says men and women must be forced into equality wherever inequality is seen" ?

Goodness me, that's not too dissimilar to the Fourteenth Amendment to the US Constitution passed in 1868!

"No state shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any state deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws."​
 
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shan said:
I think the point is that most people on here wouldn't say half the things they say on these forums if they were face to face with another person. It's a little too easy to hide behind a screen. It screams cowardice really.
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You are right there, Shan.

And to those who witter on about the PC Brigade, feminism and people being too easily offended, hurt or whatever I would say this (speaking only for myself, of course) -

Not "offended" or "hurt" - any more than I am by the chatter I hear from the school playground near my house. Just bored.

Good to see some of those with more maturity and imagination to look beyond these cliches joining in here. These (the OP most certainly included) are the ones whose attitudes I recognise from my daily life in the sailing community.
 
dom said:
As a matter of interest, to whom is this post addressed?

And as for the 'feminist narrative' going something like this, "which often says men and women must be forced into equality wherever inequality is seen" ?

Goodness me, that's not too dissimilar to the Fourteenth Amendment to the US Constitution passed in 1868!

"No state shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any state deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws."​
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It was to respond to the original posting (yours, but not to you necessarily), otherwise it would be customary to quote a specific post.

We already have laws with effect of the 14th amendment. I think our laws we have in this area are pretty good.
 
Zing said:
It was to respond to the original posting (yours, but not to you necessarily), otherwise it would be customary to quote a specific post.

We already have laws with effect of the 14th amendment. I think our laws we have in this area are pretty good.
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Sounds like there's a good overlap of agreement here, which is good; but can I ask you what exactly you mean by the "feminist narrative"? And is there a male corollary?
 
shan said:
I think the point is that most people on here wouldn't say half the things they say on these forums if they were face to face with another person. It's a little too easy to hide behind a screen. It screams cowardice really.
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personally I would, and often do. however, the way one looks the way one expresses it and the circumstances in which it is delivered can have great effect.
the trouble with text is that it often lacks the personality of the person delivering it leading to miss_interpretation
 
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