whats the funnest thing thats happened to you

[PIGLETSDREAM]

Many many moons ago I had to have an operation on my knee, days of matron etc. Having had a successful op was discharged and with full length plaster and certificate of competance for the crutches, sauntered towards the bus stop to catch a bus. Bus duley came and I with great difficulty climbed on board. Paid my fare and engaged in idle chit chat with conductor along the lines of, "do you need any help getting off,? Oh no, I replied, I can manage very well?" Bus stoped near the house, but was a little way from the kerb. Because of the full length plaster, I couldn't reach the pavement, nor could I see it, so with a leap of faith, danngled the crutches over the side of the platform assuming that they would be approx 3 to 4 inches above the surface, oh they were, 3- 4inches above a drain. The look on my face as the 3 inches came and went and I continued downwards to eventually kiss the pavement. In the process I split the plaster and managed to tear the stiches in my leg. Once the conductor had regained controll of himself and realised my very painful predicament, he scraped me up and sat me on the back platform, the bus turned around and took me straight back to hospital. The following day, sporting new stiches and a new plaster I was taken home by ambulance and with strict instructions not to use a bus.

<hr width=100% size=1>Must go, Matron is coming

 

[RocquaineBay]

Since most appear happy to speak of the past, please allow me.
A long time ago on a cycling holiday through France...we, that's me and a close friend, were just totally enjoying the experience of a new culture, well lot's of things really, as we had already heard, about many strange things being different in france; the food, the atmosphere, the sense of humour, it was a long long time ago and we were both very young. I recall one of the major aspects of French
life was the apparent abilty to take a pee or a poo while someone is watching. It didn't seem to matter where we were, there was always someone just likely to pop up their head or come around the corner and on more than one occasion, I would be embarrassed to the roof, stumbling on someone else having a motion. It took me four days into my holiday to get used to 'reversing onto the footplates'. I remeber feeling like I was a car or a lorry backing up for a full service! My friend, on the other hand, got right into the swing of it from the start. Her pants would be down before you could say Jack Robinson. Well we had a great ten days in France and cycled from St Malo to Zurich having a great time all the way. When we arrived in Switzerland I had promised to call on a pen friend, which was a first meeing and was all a bit stange becuase my Swiss/German/French is not brilliant. All a bit red faced at first, just getting past the introductions and my mate decides, within about three minutes of our arrival, that she needs the tiolet. Off she goes and I get acquainted with my pen friend.......and time passes.......and more..............and more.........and we both end up lost for words looking at the ceiling hoping that my mate would return quickly. 15 minutes later she does, and she does it in a way as if that it is normal....15 minutes for your first poo in a strangers house in Switzerlands. I was going mad. Anyways, we all go straight out, have drinks, food, socialize and we leave. Lots of smiley happy faces, thank god I am glad that's over, kind- of- thing. About six months later I mention that I havent heard from my penfriend in Swizerland and I also happen to mention that delay of 15 minutes for a poo. She laughs and goes red, and redder, then blue and sweats profusely...... "I have a confession" she says........"about that poo in Switzerland"............"er... well, when I went to the toilet I was busting and I couldn't hold it in, so I was just going as fast as I could, stepped up on the plate, turned around, dropped me cacks and splosh"........."yeah so what", I said, being rather puzzled. "er... well then Iooked around for the toilet tissue... and couldn't find it.....then I looked around the room....and then I saw.....THE TOILET OPPOSITE ME!"

My dear friend had found the shower and needed to spend a few extra minutes washing her nails!!!!! I have never had any further contact from my Friend in Switzerland! C'est vrai!

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[bumblefish]

Re: whats the funnest thing, NB

3 weekends ago, our wedding anniversary, spent the Saturday night at the Grand Hotel, Eastbourne, wonderful hotel, took my wife up to Beachy Head on the Sunday. Showed her where we began our South Downs Bike Ride this summer, at the 'cross', then up to the point to look down on the Light House. My exact words were ' this is the point where people jump or occasionally drive off', we heard a vehicle behind us, my thoughts ' someone has come to tell us to move away from the edge', my wife's 'I didn't think you could drive up here', just missed us, about 5 feet away, and over the edge! Here is one I made earlier! Funny, not! Still at least the driver survived and in retrospect the whole situation has a certain black comedy element?

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