whats the funnest thing thats happened to you

[LittleShip]

Tony
Are you still married???????????

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I wish I'd been born rich instead of good looking ?

 

[Wiggo]

funny, I did exactly the same thing in front of the bus station...

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[Twister_Ken]

We were on the way back from Cherbourg, when we sailed through a patch of sea that was full of floating oranges - maybe some deck cargo that had gone overboard.

"Mmm" says helmsperson, "What I love about France is the fruits de mer"

<hr width=100% size=1><A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.writeforweb.com/twister1>Let's Twist Again</A>

 

[Gordonmc]

No matter how long you have spent trying to think ahead of all the eventualities come lift-in time, there is always something forgotten.
With the boat in the slings I desperately went through the check-list, you know... make sure the battery is charges, all sea cocks are closed, put anti-fouling where the cradle pads were...
In goes the boat with me on board when the operator asks if I can take her to the pontoon under my own power.
Sure, if the engine starts, says I. The engine started first time and the boat slipped off the hoist with a push from the operator. I turned round to discover what I forgot.
The tiller. #!
I had to manoevre an eight-ton long keeled boat with a pair of molegrips on the rudder stock through the marina.
Duuur...



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[FullCircle]

The first time into Bradwell Marina, and my 'big' 26ft Evolution , I was cocky (29yrs old) with my prowess at using the engine to go in at high speed, with a dazzling combination of reverse and heaps of tiller waggle to get me in tight berths and alight on pontoon absolutely stationary. So I fly in to the marina with my instructions from Marina control for a berth slot. As I applied full reverse thrust to flare out for landing the boat shot forward even faster. Realising that I was about to ram an empty berth at 6 knots, I turned sharply to port and headed down the gap between the fingers, panicking like f*ck. I threw it into neutral and was coasting down towards the end pontoon with no means of stopping. I look around wild eyed for the cheapest thing to hit, which was Bradwell Marina Launch. People in Cockpits to either side looked up and then went pop eyed as this lunatic came flying by them. Crrruunnchh!!!! Bennndd!! Stopped. Phew. Fortunately there was no damage to either vessel, as the launch was fully fendered.
Jim goes deep purple and hunch shouldered. We turned the boat round manually and paddled it back to the berth, with much sheepishness. Turns out the gear lever cable bracket had become unbolted, and thus moving the throttle backwards only had the effect of accelerating the engine without changing gear to reverse.
Since then, I approach fairly gently, and I ALWAYS have a bucket and warp handy to assist braking if required.

There, I did it, I confessed.


Jim

<hr width=100% size=1>Engine now resembles Singer Sewing Machine - amazing what happens when you renew all the old bits.

 

[WayneS]

Did the old "toss the fender overboard" in the Solent earlier this year and announced to the family that it was me that was floating away and that they should rescue "me". (With no assistance or advice from me).

This was followed by frenzied activity from the 3 of them, turning the boat, putting a mooring warp over the stern so that "I" could grab it (brought a frown to my face but I had to keep quiet).

All went well till they put the engine in reverse to stop the boat when that mooring warp suddenly tightened and the engine stopped.

They managed to recover "me" of but then sent me over the side to unfoul the prop.

Clever ideas that come back to bite you in the arse........

Some good came of it. Wife went shopping in Lymington and returned with a MOB recovery sling including miles of floating line......


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[cardinal_mark]

Mid April, celebrating the end of a weeks sailing with a few pints on a chilly Friday night at the Folly Inn, I was casually making my way back to the boat when out of the blue, and in mid conversation with a complete stranger, I stroll straight off the end of the pontoon!

For some reason I seem to recall being the only one laughing when my head finally bobbed up again.

Next morning I stuff all my wet gear into a bin liner and then promptly forget all about it. Imagine my surprise when once back in the Hamble the next day my bin liner is nowhere to be seen. Asking if anyone knew where it was I was just able to make out a few mumblings about someone taking 'both the bin bags' to the bins at the back of the Folly!

Did I laugh this time? No not really.


Mark

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[cameronke]

Re: Amazing first then funny

Inspirational Rob!

Thanks
Cameron

<hr width=100% size=1>Work to live, live to sail

 

[Pelican]

Some years ago working as cook on a 42 foot motor cruiser going down the Rhone river in France on a bright sunny hot day, half the crew being fed below and the owner/skipper and his son in their bathing suits on the fly bridge steering the boat waiting their turn at table...when I discovered that the chocolate moose was a bit off, and having had a few G+T's too many decided to get rid of it before the skipper came below for lunch. The boat a Meakes 42, steel hull and wooden topsides had two sliding doors, port and starboard to access the accommodation. Unfortunately I opened the windward side door to throw the moose overboard forgetting that skip and son were topsides, and wondered what the roaring was about as they saw a cloud of brown liquid appear from the cabin side and completely covered them as well as the aft decks...what a laugh we had, they thought it was s**t but was only old chocolate!
Pelican

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[robp]

Re: Sorry it\'s a bit long

Not this year but years ago!
First sailing boat was a 1968 Mirror Offshore. Having excitedly purchased it and got a boatwise pal to tow her home, he fortunately stopped on the motorway when he saw smoke coming out from one of the wheel bearings! Anyway she finally arrives home on her trailer,, on the back of another - AA trailor! Got the wheel bearings fixed next day but told the brakes were pretty well shot and would need longer. It was my holiday!! Phoned the police; "does this thing need brakes?" "No sir". Good enough for me - the car was a heavy BMW. I thought, I'll get her into the water and on to the swinging mooring that I'd arranged. Then take the trailor back and sort the brakes out later. Ho hum.
Arrived at Dell Quay but it's too crowded to turn and reverse the trailor down to the water. Wait around a bit but the tide will go and anyway my enthusiasm is just too much. Chap comes up and says "would you like some help?" He was a sailing Pastor it turns out and a very nice bloke. I said yes please, what I want to do is to unhitch this and with a series of bricks under wheels, slowly get her backwards down to the water... "Oh err OK" he says and grabs one side of the trailor hitch beam and helps turn the contraption. It's OK for the first few bricks but then her stern sees the water like a dog sees a rabbit! The whole caboose thinks sod the bricks, jumps over them and starts her descent down the hard. The Pastor very sensibly leaps aside but Numpty here is thinking; "This is my boat and I'm not letting go of her for anyone". So off we go with my heels ploughing two furrows down the beach that any farmer would be proud of.
I'm not sure what caused me to do it, (it might have been my wife screaming a warning to me - not that I conciously heard her or anything else going on) but at the last moment of entry, I pulled the trailor hitch round with all my might..... When I surfaced and surveyed the situation, I could see that the jetty wall was about three metres away and only due to my mammoth and apparently enlightened pull. I sort of squinted up the hard with a hugely embarassed look on my face, hoping that no one had noticed. It was then that a huge cheer went up from the assembled and very amused crowd of onlookers.
The Pastor said "You certainly have a novel approach".

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[Evadne]

My worst, most recent one was at the end of the season before last. To set the scene, the engine had been giving us gyp for most of the summer, stopping at inconvenient moments due to build up of the dreaded bug.

Motorsailing up on the last of the tide into Chichester harbour, with just the main up the engine almost on tickover as there was almost no wind. Engine dies, but there appears to be enough wind to move us against the tide under main only and, feeling lazy, decide not to put up the genoa. SWMBO, (on lookout duty) asks "are we going to miss that motor boat?" I espy a large motor boat, about 10 feet longer and 10 times the insurance valkue of Evadne. The husband & wife on board are starting to become concerned at the direct approach of this slightly tatty little sailing boat. I put the tiller over. Several lifetiimes elapse while nothing else happens, and we continue on our course. When it finally clicks that we aren't sailing, but are being borne by the tide onto the motor boat (at about 1 knot) it becomes obvious that we are going to hit him unless we do something else. Notice how the "I" is replaced be "we" in such moments?. The first mate goes for her trusty broom, which she always wields when we are manuevering in a marina, although I can't imagine why, and pushes the bows off as we pass several centimetres from their gleaming gelcoat. The boat (finally) tacks but doesn't move away very much. I decide now is a good time to put the genoa up and we pick up speed and leave our embarrassment behind. SWMBO still asks me, when feeling a little uncertain of my otherwise flawless helming ability, if we are going to hit anything today. To my credit, we did pick up the mooring under sail. And I've hardly hit anything else since.


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[Robin]

Not even a close brush since? /forums/images/icons/smile.gif

<hr width=100% size=1><font size=1>Sermons from my pulpit are with tongue firmly in cheek and come with no warranty!</font size=1>

 

[tome]

Returning to the boat at anchor in Newtown Creek one night from the pub, we'd left it a bit late. We just about managed to get the dinghy off the mud but bottomed the outboard shortly after and sheared the pin. Skipper kept going under oars whilst I took the lid off the OB. I found a spare pin - the skipper didn't realise there was one.

Managed to change the pin in the dark whilst telling him I'd try jamming a few matchsticks in. By now we're racing past the boat on the ebb and skips paddling like a man possesed but still losing ground. I started the engine with mutterings about 'don't know if they'll hold, but we'll give it a go'. After much exaggerated revving he takes the helm away from me with a call to 'be careful - watch those bloody matches don't snap'.

By now the crew and I were giggling, but the skip was concentrating on keeping the power smooth and not stressing the 'matches'. As we finally came alongside, we spilled the beans and the skipper joined our mirth, pouring us a drink as we went on board.

He always was a great sport - sadly no longer with us.


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[BlueChip]

Backed out of our berth at Haslar, changed to forward gear but no response - the outer gear cable had come loose at the gearbox end.
With the boat reversing down a dead end row of pontoons at tickover, which on Blue Chip is about 3 knots we did a perfect 180 degree turn and reversed back up the row. Stopped the engine in just the right position and glided back in the berth in reverse coming to a stop in just the right position for my wife to step off and make fast - couldn't have been better. Do you think anyone was watching? Of course not? On other occassions when things don't go so well - there's always an audience!






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[Fin]

Early friday eve years ago and picking up a Enterprise from Rutland. Typically running late to meet everyone else in london so speed was of the essence. Hooked up the boat pelted off down the road to be stuck behind the one sunday driver that had been let out that night. Fed up sitting at 40 and eventually managed to get passed muttering about sensible driving.

Few miles down the country road go over a bit of a bump (at the speed limit) (just) to hear a clunk from the back of the car. Checked the rearview mirror to see the boat sliding out away from us. Natural instinct, don't ask me why, is to take your foot off the accelerator pedal.

This now left me looking out of the drivers window at the boat that had just been behind us. As my brain was working out the fact that this incident isn't covered in the highway code, the passenger politely asked me to floor it. We just managed to get in front of the boat to then watch it cross behind us again. It then came gently to a stop in a gravel laybay at the side of the road as if it had been perfectly parked there.

Parked up next to it blessed the sailing gods at Rutland and then looked very sheepish at the sunday driver as they came past us. Wire strops became law shortly afterwards, now thats an idea!

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[Becky]

It wasn't this year, been working on the boat mostly, but last year when I was sailing Solitaire. Had a (non-sailing) friend staying, who naturally wanted to go fora sail. Went over everything I could think of, life jacket, how to untie the boat, how not to get left behind when I eased her into reverse, etc. My friend had a quick visit to the loo before setting off, but I had already started the engine, so I just waited. When he returned, we motored backwards out of the berth, (it was free flow so we could get out), when the engine overheating alarm went off. I asked my newcrew to grab one of the lines on the foredeck and tie us to a large motorcruiser, while I steered alongside. I then called the Marina for assistance. 'Course I then remembered what I had done wrong- I had not turned on the engine cooling water, so I did it then. A few moments later the Marina launch came alongside, and the guys soon had me back in my berth. They then proceeded to check everything, culminating in changing the water impeller on the engine. Like a coward, I said nothing. We started the engine, and of course all was well, so we went out. But, every tme I saw them subsequently, there was always a comment on how my engine had played up so strangely. I still feel embarrassed thinking about that incident. They were so kind. To be fair, I didn't laugh at all.

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[oldharry]

Neat little family outfit nosed its way in to the beach, kids at the ready with buckets and spades - mum with her Catherine Cookson and sun cream, all clearly with the intention of spending a happy afternoon on the sand until the tide returned.

Bows grounded on the beach, kill the outboard, and Dad leaps over the transom to go round and pull her up.....

.... straight into 8 feet of water!

Did we laugh..? Even more at his expression (and comments)when he surfaced!



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[Becky]

Come on Julie, what about your funniest moment?/forums/images/icons/smile.gif

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[powerskipper]

You mean like the time , first day of a course and we were just pulling away from the berth with me at the helm , I am confidently talking them though leaving the berth , ropes of ,OK quick ahead on the port throttle , then the starboard then wait, she stopped, ???? OK ahead bit more power first one throttle then the other, she moves again but with the stern wagging from side to side, the she shot forward, and with a loud PING, the mains lead flying going fast over the back of the boat and lands on the seat beside me, slight hesitation on my part I say and ER, DO MAKE SURE THERE IS NOTHING STILL ATTACHING YOU TO THE PONTOON, and head of down the river.


Or the time another course where we had gone though rope throwing and tyeing up , so I though!!! berthing practise, so student on the bow gets rope ready beautifully , coiled in hands well and ready to throw, we come along side and right throw I say, so he does, ALL THE ROPE, he had forgotten to tie either end to the boat!!!!

<hr width=100% size=1><A target="_blank" HREF=http://powerskipper.mysite.freeserve.com/>http://powerskipper.mysite.freeserve.com/</A>
Julie

 

[oilyrag]

reminds me of a time when I was a pup - on a 50000 ton tanker, after charging through the narrow entrance to Botany Bay whereupon a tug charges up from behind to take a stern line in order to help slow the whole thing down before we steam into the oil jetty at full pelt - the tug, having picked up our rope, goes astern, and we then watch our end of the rope gracefully disappear into the oggin!
(possibly my fault but I blamed the 3rd Mate)

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