What should I have said to my daughter when....

[Leighb]

Has she had bunion surgery?

 

[Twister_Ken]

"I say, dear, you seem to have trodden in something."

 

[Fantasie 19]

+1

+2

 

[Little Five]

When he was 19 my 2nd son got quite a few tattoos done but hid then from me. quite why i have no idea as i have always told the kids when you are an adult you can do whatever you want but remember you will have live with the consequences.
I would have said, "Ah, that dog is an ankle biter if ever I saw one"

 

[xyachtdave]

If she is happy with it, why should you worry?

Tattoo's on your knuckles, neck and face to be avoided, (IMO), but that tiny thing is hardly going to ruin her career prospects.

I am pleased my daughter breaks away from the crowd and does her own thing.

For every good idea, someone can always find 3 bad things to say about it....

 

[cimota]

To mend it: get a tattoo

 

[penfold]

I'm somewhat ambivalent, but I was shown a much larger floral display(literally a bunch of flowers) inked onto the foot and ankle of a 18yr old girl recently, and my reaction was similar although I did not comment. Objectively it was well done, but given the proliferation of (mostly visible) tattoos on the proletariat these days surely means it's very much not a 'symbol of individuality, innit?', if indeed it ever was. Then there's the issue of what it will look like in 10 years(it will have gone green, they all do that) and when you reach retirement(most will look very silly indeed).

That said I do occasionally harbour an irrational desire to get an anchor on my upper arm as was traditional for MN matelots, and probably get my blood group put on at the same time.

 

[Searush]

I'm sure "say nowt" is the best response, but I doubt I could have suppressed a groan, or a sharp intake of breath. But we are old fogeys, to whom such things identify people as trollops or dodgy characters. They are young followers of fashion to whom they identify people as trendy, modern & smart.

Fashions change, we should not judge them by our standards. In the larger scheme of things it is nothing is it? What if she had got pregnant from a one-night stand, or run over after a night of binge drinking? Or had a batch of dodgy drugs? You have got off lightly so far I would suggest.

 

[Bru]

I'd have p*ss*d myself laughing

Worked a treat when my daughter did something not entirely dissimilar a few years back. She was furious at the time of course but has since admitted that my howls of hysterical laughter put her right off having anything else done which she's now happy to confess she's rather relieved about.

Then again, my kids all reckon I'm an evil barsteward anyway

 

[Chrissie]

Ive had the same with my youngest two, when son got his tongue pierced my initial words were "thats what girls and gay blokes do, something to do with sensations during or.. , are you trying to tell me something?" perhaps I shouldnt have said it, it was an involuntary expression, then he went on to get his lip pierced either side and a smily face tatoo on his ankle.

Daughter got her nose then her lip pierced too, and I am sure she has a tattoo, Ive never seen it but I did see a lot of wrappers for sterile dressings on her bedroom floor,

They both know I dont particularly like it, but there is nothing I can say after its done, but showing them pictures of infected piercings and wrinkly old ladies with tattoos was fairly ineffective.

 

[dylanwinter]

count your blessings moment.

Ive had the same with my youngest two, when son got his tongue pierced my initial words were "thats what girls and gay blokes do, something to do with sensations during or.. , are you trying to tell me something?" perhaps I shouldnt have said it, it was an involuntary expression, then he went on to get his lip pierced either side and a smily face tatoo on his ankle.

Daughter got her nose then her lip pierced too, and I am sure she has a tattoo, Ive never seen it but I did see a lot of wrappers for sterile dressings on her bedroom floor,

They both know I dont particularly like it, but there is nothing I can say after its done, but showing them pictures of infected piercings and wrinkly old ladies with tattoos was fairly ineffective.

My dad was always advising me to count my blessings

bless you Chrissie - I feel much better now

Dylan

 

[sighmoon]

Why a bug eyed dog? Is it a charicature of a family pet or just a doodle she liked?

My 18 year old nephew wants 'sleeves done'. He is skint though so maybe he'll have changed his mind by the time he has the money. Though it looks like you can get 'value' tattoos.

 

[Cymrogwyllt]

Rejoice in the fact that it's
1. non showy
2. discreet
3. very unlikely to impact on the future

Whatever you said I respectfully suggest that it may be time to say 'I was surprised but.... '.

 

[dylanwinter]

we do have a dog...

Why a bug eyed dog? Is it a charicature of a family pet or just a doodle she liked?

My 18 year old nephew wants 'sleeves done'. He is skint though so maybe he'll have changed his mind by the time he has the money. Though it looks like you can get 'value' tattoos.

we do have a dog but I don't think its that.

Actually three gap year girls in our village had similar tattoos done - all in the same place.

All hid them from their parents for five months.

Its the crude ugliness of it that gets me

Its the thought of how awful it is going to look when she is old....

We both know that I have absolutely no right to have any say over what my 19 year old does or does not do with her body...


I do remember that one of the many many things that I really liked about her mother was that she used to wear nice summer shoes and had lovely feet.

It is small, it is in a place where she does not have to show it to anyone

I love my daughter and she is a much better writer than I am.

So as an old hack I have a lot to be thankful for.

Dylan

 

[Seajet]

I'm sure "say nowt" is the best response, but I doubt I could have suppressed a groan, or a sharp intake of breath. But we are old fogeys, to whom such things identify people as trollops or dodgy characters. They are young followers of fashion to whom they identify people as trendy, modern & smart.

Fashions change, we should not judge them by our standards. In the larger scheme of things it is nothing is it? What if she had got pregnant from a one-night stand, or run over after a night of binge drinking? Or had a batch of dodgy drugs? You have got off lightly so far I would suggest.

This seems an eminently sensible approach, though I would have been upset if it were me; I find tattoo's and piercings repulsive, the idea of them being 'sexy' ( I know the idea re.certain piercings ) is just plain horrible on so many levels, hygiene for both client and lovers being a big one !

My ex boss, a really nice lady a bit younger than me, had 'tatt's' on her lower back etc, but was a seriously intelligent IT savvy person; along with making modern economical trailing logs, I predict ( not difficult Sherlock ) that there's a fortune to be made soon in painless tattoo removal systems which work !

At least I hope so, or it's goodbye to civilisation as I know it...

Wouldn't this lot be better on The Lounge ?

 

[dylanwinter]

Nope

Wouldn't this lot be better on The Lounge ?

But these are my friends

I have heard that its down in the lounge is where the crazies hang out

and...

"debate this month's hot topic"

its one of the reasons I love the way this forum works

if its posted in the wrong place and is of no interest to the denizens then the thread drops like a stone

if on the other hand its of interest to the people who spend time here then it will keep bobbing back to the surface

It is, in my opinion, the most perfectly balanced self regulating system - until of course you get two or three people working togther to subvert it.

Dylan

 

[Searush]

Ooooh, You might think that, but I couldn't possibly comment.

 

[Lakesailor]

Wouldn't this lot be better on The Lounge ?

In which respect would it be better?

 

[davo]

when my youngest daughter was about the same age she came home with a tattoo on her shoulder it was in the form of Chinese writing and at the time looked half decent, she has just had her 30th birthday and so far has spent £1200 trying to have it removed and she will need at least another 4 sessions before it fades, the older she gets the more her skin stretches and the bigger the tattoo grows looks like an order for a carry out now

 

[Whiskey Bravo]

Over Easter the Winter family were out on the slug - very rare occasion.

We went ashore to a pub for lunch - even more uncommon.

My 19 year old gap year daughter was with us and kicked her shoes off. It was the first time I had seen - or even been aware of - the tattoo she now has on her ankle. It had remained hidden since last summer.

What would have been the best thing to say.... as opposed to what I did actually say.

It is incredibly ugly - the words bubble says "I love dad" and is done in biro and is therefore not permanent.... but the bug eyed dog is.

''Only proper sailors have tattoos, now the bilge needs clearing out!''