Visiting Scotland, for yachties.

[Quandary]

Still bored and stuck indoors, the days are really short up here now and the wifes laptop is always sitting on the kitchen table so I have started inventing threads.
I know that encouraged by Snooks there are hundreds of you down there hatching plans to circumnavigate these islands, ( notice how well I avoided controversy there, the Irish can be so touchy). This is likely to involve visiting at least one port in the West of Scotland, perhaps more, but I presume most of you will stick to the marinas, outside of them it will help if you understand what is being said, so here is a short glossary of some common expressions, I am sure that others can be added.

Aye: right --- I have listened to what you have said, it is ballox but I am not prepared to waste my limited resources of precious energy disagreeing. ( of course this expression is not relevant if you are English)
I will get back to you --- you will never hear from me again.
The chefs gone home --- it is one minute past two, I come from a proud highland race so there is no way I am going to make you a sandwich.
Next week ---- infinity is coming sooner.
Come back tomorrow --- I will not be here.

More to come after I talk to the guys down the street.

 

[Doghousekeeper]

Aye .. right. Oh no. that's the wrong one, sorry. Need to know the proper expression for "let's have more of this". A full Scottish to English translation so that we can avoid going out when it's dreek, watch out for the teuchtars, and all that other strange stuff.

Looking forward to the next instalment

 

[Quandary]

some more

its dreich --- keep your oilies on, this is normal summer weather
slainte ---- thanks for buying me a drink, keep them coming.
auld hand --- why are you not receiving treatment for dementia?
yachtie --- I really want to cause you as much offence as possible
decked --- what will happen to you if you dont shut up.
hold your wheesht --- optional warning given before you are decked.
fairy --- man who orders gin and tonic in a public bar
Ill ha. irn bru ---- i know my teeth are rotten but I'm driving
Whas the cludgy? --- can you please direct me to the lavatory
Who's burd is thon? --- I have been contemplating seducing your wife/girlfriend

 

[OGITD]

West Coast Dialect

You have to watch this educational video (on subject)…….comedy genius!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a0rgETg2Hoo

 

[Bodach na mara]

Oops, according to U-tube "The URL contained a malformed video ID." Could you try again OGITD? Please.

 

[OGITD]

Done….as requested!

Done….as requested!

 

[agurney]

If you're spotted ashore in your oilies you are bound to be met with "yaffayat?" followed by "whityatyaaffa?"



Alisdair

 

[capnsensible]

Did you know that if you add together the populations of West Midlands and Greater Manchester, it is a bigger number than the entire population of Scotland.

Not one of them has ever been an engineer on the Starship Enterprise. Lightweights.

 

[OGITD]

Oh yes they have!

Did you know that if you add together the populations of West Midlands and Greater Manchester, it is a bigger number than the entire population of Scotland.

Not one of them has ever been an engineer on the Starship Enterprise. Lightweights.

OH YES THEY HAVE!!!!!!

Check the end of this one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWrSEKNlZkI

 

[capnsensible]

Allright then, none of them invented the telly or deep fried mars bars.

Skimmer lightweights!!!

 

[OGITD]

Eh!?

Skimmer lightweights!!!

Apart from SM2 hasn’t everything RN SM (yes plus a load of skimmer bits & pieces) been consolidated at Faslane ON THE CLYDE!?
There are Submariners turning in their graves with no more SM1 at Dolphin, and it now being full of Army Nurses……..SHAME on them that made that decision.

 

[capnsensible]

Wish the place had been full of Army Nurses when I was there. Sigh.

 

[Ludd]

Wish the place had been full of Army Nurses when I was there. Sigh.

They're MALE nurses----

 

[Bodach na mara]

Thanks for the link. Also gives links to other "Parliamo Glesca" clips.

 

[SAWDOC]

Your post reminds me of another on Blue Moment where the OP on a cruise to Tarbert
noted that everything seemed horrendously expensive, and he claimed that he had discovered the true meaning of "Cead Mile Failte";

If you have got a hundred thousand you wlll be very welcome...

 

[TQA]

Cabin fever setting in then I see.

 

[Quandary]

Aye ; right

This West of Scotland expression is one of the most frequently encountered and most often misinterpreted, in some parts of 'these islands' it can even be used as an affirmative.
It is worth noting that the length of the pause between the two words defines the degree of scepticism or contempt being expressed. If responding to a political statement there is usually time for a yawn as well.
So, if you want your neighbour to anchor a bit further away or to put over some more fenders you need to know whether he is local or a visitor.

 

[NorthUp]

And if

you receive an aye: right!

its time to retreat!

 

[Bilgediver]

The chefs gone home --- .

I remember the publican in the pub at Croabh marina saying this to The Headmistress!!!! He couldn't have picked a worse person to upset!!!!!!!


The cook soon re appeared and cooked dinner for two

 

[KenMcCulloch]

Another well known language-related tale involves a meeting in the pub in, I believe, Lochinver, between a local gaelic speaking 'chentleman' and the master of a Spanish fishing vessel. Between the two of them they spoke English, Gaelic, Spanish and Galician, and it wasn't long before the conversation turned to language. Juan observed that spanish sailors were notorous for their relaxed pace. "I say to my deckhand, Miguel, I want you to paint the windlass today, and he respnds by telling me 'Mañana capitan, tomorrow I will do it'. It's a very spanish thing, do you have a word like that in the gaelic?". Hughie took a pull of his pint, thought for a moment and replied "Och, well not really, we don't have a word with quite that same sense of urchency."