The perils of coming home

[jonic]

We are now 11 months in to our return to "The real world" as our non cruising friends call living ashore. (Ha ha. If only they knew).

After eight years away we felt with the arrival of two kids and problems with Pirates it was a good time to come home, buy a house and have a normal life.

Everything is good. We have a lovely house in the country, a thriving business, have written a book. We even have BMWs!

And we are bloody miserable


Talking to other sailors it seems if you go away for more than two years, re-entry is incredibly hard.

The only thing that has softened the blow has been moving the boat out of a Marina and putting her on a swinging mooring, so if we go down to her we can at least sit on her and pretend we are at anchor.

Now I don't want to come across as ungrateful of the things we now have, but I am interested in hearing how others have felt after a long period away as a liveaboard.

I really didn't expect such a severe "withdrawal reaction".

 

[rickym]

Hi Jonic

Just treat the time you are ashore as a 'sabattical', at least you still have a boat. I swapped the yacht for a bigger house and spent years regretting it.

We are about to do the reverse. In our 50's, kids grown up and have been planning the escape for the last 2 years. Spring 2012 we plan to sail away to return to the 'hippy' lifestyle we had in the 1970's! I was a 'boat bum' then and will return to the same lifestyle. What is the 'Real World'?

We earn money to fund the life we want. Not the other way round. The lifestyle is not a consequence of earning! I learnt this a long time ago. This is the only way to stay sane.

Enjoy your kids, fund you lifestyle and plan for your next adventure. Don't leave it too late!

 

[jonic]

Thanks Ricky.

Wise words. I thought I was going nuts. I am so glad we did not sell the boat to fund a larger house which was my immediate thought. I love the idea of seeing time ashore as the sabbatical.

 

[ccscott49]

I found it so difficult to re-adjust, that I didnt and still liveaboard, cant see anyway of coming ashore, just dont need to.

 

[Jeannius]

Only been back a week and the only feeling so far is that it is bloody cold here. Think I'll get depressed pretty soon though. Still, will be back in the Caribbean in mid-July to take the boat out of the hurricane belt.

Think we met in St Lucia a few years back - maybe 2008 - since then we've been around the world with the World Arc.

 

[Tradewinds]

Think we met in St Lucia a few years back - maybe 2008 - since then we've been around the world with the World Arc.

Well that will certainly cheer him up !!

 

[daveyw]

Who was that round the world racer who on nearing the finish line turned around a sailed off into the sunset? I think he prefered a natural life rather than the ratrace.

 

[jonic]

Well that will certainly cheer him up !!

Tradewinds. I know you know all about this

Jeannius did we have a chat in St Lucia about obtaining visas for the USA from Barbados?

 

[jonic]

Who was that round the world racer who on nearing the finish line turned around a sailed off into the sunset? I think he prefered a natural life rather than the ratrace.

Bernard Moitessier.

Here are some of his quotes

"I wonder. Plymouth so close, barely 10,000 miles to the north...but leaving from Plymouth and returning to Plymouth now seems like leaving from nowhere to go nowhere." (Written after rounding the Horn in the Golden Globe race.)

"You do not ask a tame seagull why it needs to disappear from time to time toward the open sea. It goes, that's all."

"I am a citizen of the most beautiful nation on earth. A nation whose laws are harsh yet simple, a nation that never cheats, which is immense and without borders, where life is lived in the present. In this limitless nation, this nation of wind, light, and peace, there is no other ruler besides the sea."

 

[BrianH]

Bernard Moitessier.
Here are some of his quotes
"I wonder. Plymouth so close, barely 10,000 miles to the north...but leaving from Plymouth and returning to Plymouth now seems like leaving from nowhere to go nowhere." (Written after rounding the Horn in the Golden Globe race.)
"You do not ask a tame seagull why it needs to disappear from time to time toward the open sea. It goes, that's all."
"I am a citizen of the most beautiful nation on earth. A nation whose laws are harsh yet simple, a nation that never cheats, which is immense and without borders, where life is lived in the present. In this limitless nation, this nation of wind, light, and peace, there is no other ruler besides the sea."

Here's another - on his decision to drop out of the 1969 Golden Globe race when in the lead:

"I have no desire to return to Europe with all its false gods. They eat your liver out and suck your marrow and brutalize you. I am going where you can tie up a boat where you want and the sun is free and so is the air you breathe and the sea where you swim and you can roast yourself on a coral reef."​

 

[Jeannius]

Jeannius did we have a chat in St Lucia about obtaining visas for the USA from Barbados?

That was it. Only a brief meeting I think as either you or I were rushing off somewhere.

 

[DecaDance]

I've was only a liveaboard for 4 months before returning to terra firma to sort out a prolapsed disc (no fun on a bobbing boat ), and after 2 months here I can't wait to get back.

Perhaps you could spend some time looking through your old photos and diaries and get out the charts to plan the next trip and all the bits you missed out first time round!

 

[Swagman]

We went travelling overland just married at 21 - and had to return 2 years on - with first of our children due.

Frankly, I didn't think we really got over that.

But the dream never went away and by 30 we devised a cunning plan to run away to sea once the kids left home. Magically managed to do that - only 25 years later.

We enjoyed that roving life for six glorious years, typically away summer months but enjoying some top up home time winter months.

Just as we began plans for another longish trip (6 months to South America) in dropped one set of kids to announce that our first grandchildren were on the way.

And that was it. Basically the big boss said you can stick the long range cruising, for a while we're sticking closer to home.

Yep. You'll never get over it. Never.

Cheers
JOHN

 

[rickym]

Bernard Moitessier.

Here are some of his quotes

"I wonder. Plymouth so close, barely 10,000 miles to the north...but leaving from Plymouth and returning to Plymouth now seems like leaving from nowhere to go nowhere." (Written after rounding the Horn in the Golden Globe race.)

"You do not ask a tame seagull why it needs to disappear from time to time toward the open sea. It goes, that's all."

"I am a citizen of the most beautiful nation on earth. A nation whose laws are harsh yet simple, a nation that never cheats, which is immense and without borders, where life is lived in the present. In this limitless nation, this nation of wind, light, and peace, there is no other ruler besides the sea."

Moitissier would also have to return to face his wife who knew he was cheating on her!!

 

[KellysEye]

It sounds as though you came back too early. When we left the UK we were thinking of being away two years, it ended up as six and a half. By that time we had a 'been there done that' feeling. Meaning we had been ocean sailing, been where we wanted to go, seen what we wanted to see and learnt to dive. We fitted back really quickly and are really enjoying it. Now got a new hobby, don't laugh, growing fruit and vegetables

 

[Carolwildbird]

Coming home

The words "coming home" really say it to me... I long to come home.. I spent three months back in the UK this winter and loved it.Came back to collect a new dog, having lost my other one in October, so a sort of enforced stay whilst we sorted out his passport.. but walking in the Lake district, tending gardens, going to English pubs, going to Dartmoor... all just wonderful after Greece.

After three months i was sort of wanting to come back, but now I am here, I am hating it. Made 500% worse, because my horse died whilst giving birth 4 weeks ago and then yesterday my gorgeous new pup was poisoned by the barsteward greeks. We've just buried him alongside my old dog, out in the dunes in lefkas.

So... That is it... I am coming home! I much prefer England/scotland/(and to be fair Brittany) to virtually all the places I have visited in the Med. Heat and scrub is no match for cool, sheep grazed grass, the delights of the Isles of Scilly and the west coast of Scotland, amongst many other places. Not to mentions friends and family.... and yes the garden and chickens and lovely walks in the hills.

You can stuff the med as far as I am concerned.

 

[jonic]

The words "coming home" really say it to me... I long to come home.. I spent three months back in the UK this winter and loved it.Came back to collect a new dog, having lost my other one in October, so a sort of enforced stay whilst we sorted out his passport.. but walking in the Lake district, tending gardens, going to English pubs, going to Dartmoor... all just wonderful after Greece.

After three months i was sort of wanting to come back, but now I am here, I am hating it. Made 500% worse, because my horse died whilst giving birth 4 weeks ago and then yesterday my gorgeous new pup was poisoned by the barsteward greeks. We've just buried him alongside my old dog, out in the dunes in lefkas.

So... That is it... I am coming home! I much prefer England/scotland/(and to be fair Brittany) to virtually all the places I have visited in the Med. Heat and scrub is no match for cool, sheep grazed grass, the delights of the Isles of Scilly and the west coast of Scotland, amongst many other places. Not to mentions friends and family.... and yes the garden and chickens and lovely walks in the hills.

You can stuff the med as far as I am concerned.

Hello Carol

So sorry to hear about your horse and pup.

I did much prefer the USA and Caribbean to the Med.

Perhaps what we are all really missing is the FREEDOM to wander the globe and be far from the madding crowd.

 

[Grehan]

Carol - Really sorry to hear of your disillusionment - and so saddened to read of your dog, Skye's demise. Some mad New York person claimed that dogs are actually angels, which is complete nonsense of course, but there just ain't nothing like the companionship one gets - and what one learns from them about simple patience, tenacity and forgiveness.

 

[KellysEye]

Carol, that's terrible. When you are back please call us.

 

[Carolwildbird]

homer etc

Hi Grehan

Thanks for your thoughts and l totally agree. They are angels... First Skye and now Ollie.. just aged 6 months.. Ollie was a very special dog.. I havent written about him on my blog (qwell not written about anything for a while!), but...

I'm probably overreacting as I'm still in shock, having watched him die out on a godforsaken greek hillside, helpless to do anything. But all I want to do now is to be home. I just am aware of how spoiled this "paradise" is, with people who will poison animals, throw kittens into skips in sealed tins, leave them abandoned on main roads, tip tons of rubbish down hillsides and into the sea, poke the eyes out of turtles..drop rubbish everywhere......

To be honest, I was already unhappy before Ollie's death and was making plans for heading back and perhaps going north to the Baltic/ Norway.. I think this has just accelerated and clarified my thoughts.

Kellys eye.. will certainly do.. I may pop back in the next month or so to bring my car back, and then fly back out here to bring the boat back.. Where are you based .. I'll PM you later (battery about to go!)

Carol