Single, LTR or married? NB

Someone once said that when one is single one has marriage to look forward to, but once married there is only death.

John

<hr width=100% size=1>I am the cat but I am only 6.
 
Thick, me

So thatz wot LTR means. Woz about to have a sleepless night tryin ter work that won out.

Ta

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I can agree with your comments about the benefit of a loving home, but even in jest I could not agree with your comments that parents who do split are in some way abusing the kids.

Do you really believe that children are not conscious or affected by the tensions between parents, in the vast majority of cases even in divorce both parents can remember that the love for the children is separate from the spat with their spouse, yes, I am all for marriage, and yes I do know how hard you have to work at times to keep it working, but to anyone who says it is always better for the family to stay together whatever? Sorry, do not agree!

On a positive note it seems almost amazing in this day and age to find so many openly supporting marriage and the family unit, careful or the PC brigade will get us all in for reeducation.

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"both parents can remember that the love for the children is separate from the spat"
Yes - but I was talking about the children, who take it much more personally. I am suprised that you haven't noticed a few of the "classic, text-book" cases. I certainly have. The affect on their self confidence and self image can be devastating and self image is probably the single, most important thing to carry forward into adulthood. And I don't jest.
If only I had a guide dog - I would sort them out !
Ken

<hr width=100% size=1><A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.canongrange.co.uk>Bed and Breakfast, cathedral Green Wells, Somerset Canon Grange</A>
 
Afraid that I'm not too aware of the advantages of being married, once the children have flown the nest.
We have grown apart because the main reason for us being married seems to have gone. We have almost no common interests - she hates boating in waves(anything over 300mm high); we have different groups of friends; I like various sports - she doesn't like any; I want to do some long distance travelling - she won't fly.
I now spend a lot more time, on my own, boating and really enjoy the peace & quiet with no responsibilities other than to myself. She enjoys the fact that I'm not at home being critical and bad tempered. Critical ? Moi !! She's probably right, unfortunately. AND, she's been very supportive over the past 5yrs when I have had various illnesses/ailments.
So, IMHO the answer is that marriage is fine for both, until the husband becomes a "grumpy old man". This state of mind can strike at any time from the age of 40 onwards. I held it at bay until the mid 50s. Guilty as charged !!
Ok where's the strychnine?
Aaahh...... that's better......bye all......
THUD.


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I just spent bloody ages writing a reply, a sensible one too - getting things off my chest, asking for other opinions etc...and the f*****g laptop shut down on me for no reason and I am mighty p****d off now.

Shall write it in word first this time and save as I go along....

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I married my girlfreind after a cruise to the windies on a 30 ft boat with two dogs. i reckoned if we were still talking to each other after two years, of living cheek by jowl then it would work in the long run....BTW no kids on either side..eases the stresses enormously........keith

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Tried all 3 options. Married 14 years, kids etc. Divorce is devastating to all concerned. Now in ltr 6 years,v.happy, no kids she doesn't want any, v. happy with that. I should hate to cause that pain and anguish to an innocent third party again.
Be very careful, it is v. easy to get in out of your depth, as someone said you can see it from the outside but not when its happening to you.
It is possible to love someone too much, if it isn't reciprocal, you get taken for a ride.
Can't change what happened, look forward and make the best you can of it all.

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You can be married and still in an LTR, but with somebody else, if you are separated. Not ideal by any means, but for me, much much better than being alone. There have been some very nice responses from those who have made a success of their marriage, and this is really how it should be. For those who haven't managed a happy LTR or marriage, my take on their situation is that they haven't met yet the right person. There are those who have a somewhat selfish bent to their character, and while there is absolutely nothing wrong in this, it can make TLR's more difficult, unless the partner becomes a 'doormat', which is bad as they soon become disrespected, with all the sadness and unhappiness that leads to. Sometimes these people find their need for companionship becomes greater than there desire for their own autonomy, and then they can often make excellent relationships, it is just a matter of timing. Truely, we are all different and long may it remain so. Each to his/her own, vive la difference!

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Well done - you can't beat going for Gold.
Ken

<hr width=100% size=1><A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.canongrange.co.uk>Bed and Breakfast, cathedral Green Wells, Somerset Canon Grange</A>
 
I'm lucky to have someone who puts up with my temprament and selfishness. 25 years on and she is still my best friend, encountered endless passages around our and french coasts suffering seasickness whilst taking care of our children(2) and their development.

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Types of relationships

Come on Stelladear, next you will be asking about mixed marriages! We await your response. chop chop.

<hr width=100% size=1>Real men do it 2handed.
 
Re: Mixed marriages

yes definately agree all marriages should be mixed, one man and one woman

<hr width=100% size=1>deborah on delft.
Nothing to do with Mucky Farter or hlb in drag
 
Re: Mixed marriages

That isn't what's meant by a mixed marriage you dolt!

Mixed marriages are those which are partly great, and partly crap. As in " I had a rather mixed weekend".

hope this helps

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Re: Mixed marriages

And then there are mixed up marriages where both parties have hairy legs and wear sandals, and the wimpy male has to change napkins and do the cleaning.

John

<hr width=100% size=1>I am the cat but I am only 6.
 
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