StellaGirl
New member
Whats the best and worst and what are the pros and cons of each....discuss?!
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Single, LTR or married? NB
- Thread starter StellaGirl
- Start date
Sgeir
Well-known member
does NB mean "not bothered"?
<hr width=100% size=1>I had a very nice link until Kim told us off about it. I'm not bitter mind.
<hr width=100% size=1>I had a very nice link until Kim told us off about it. I'm not bitter mind.
marina95
Member
What, no QS? 
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Olly
New member
Boils down to perception v reality? On being single the perception is that it's awful when the reality was actually great. On being married the perception was that it would be great and in reallity it was really c..p! Working on the relationship bit now - will report back when evidence collected and analysed.
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Otto
New member
I vote for marriage. If the relationship is good, being married is just brilliant. You get to be really close to someone, have someone to trust with your intimate details and share every aspect of your life, grow old with them and the best part is that you get to have sex on tap! I just love being married.
Of course, like many people, we have been through some down times too - even on the brink of divorce - and so for those of you who are married and not getting nookie on tap I can make a suggestion from my experience. It is simply to read this book:
<A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0752837265/qid=1102680566/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i1_xgl/026-4910181-6180429>The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work</A> by John Gottman, Nan Silver
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Of course, like many people, we have been through some down times too - even on the brink of divorce - and so for those of you who are married and not getting nookie on tap I can make a suggestion from my experience. It is simply to read this book:
<A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0752837265/qid=1102680566/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i1_xgl/026-4910181-6180429>The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work</A> by John Gottman, Nan Silver
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aitchw
New member
Mmm. 30yrs now and we still enjoy each other's company. I am lucky, I found the one woman in the world who could cope with my endless faults and she even encourages my sailing and is happy to make the odd outing aboard with good grace.
Find the right person and there's no competition. Marriage is best by miles.
<hr width=100% size=1><P ID="edit"><FONT SIZE=-1>Edited by aitchw on 10/12/2004 12:53 (server time).</FONT></P>
Find the right person and there's no competition. Marriage is best by miles.
<hr width=100% size=1><P ID="edit"><FONT SIZE=-1>Edited by aitchw on 10/12/2004 12:53 (server time).</FONT></P>
snowleopard
Active member
i heard a recently-divorced man say in that while married he spent 15% of his time pursuing nookie and had 85% left over for other interests. since becoming single again the ratio was the other way round.
of course that may have had something to do with him being divorced /forums/images/icons/smile.gif
having been married for 35 years i can hardly comment on the other states.
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of course that may have had something to do with him being divorced /forums/images/icons/smile.gif
having been married for 35 years i can hardly comment on the other states.
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ccscott49
Active member
I was married now single, so I can honestly say, I prefer being single, although it depends on if you have the "right" partner in the first place,
I've seen lots of happily married folk and lots of very unhappy married folk, but I haven't seen many un-happy singles! Not for long anyway!
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I've seen lots of happily married folk and lots of very unhappy married folk, but I haven't seen many un-happy singles! Not for long anyway!
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celandine
Active member
"Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has few pleasures" Dr. Johnson
<hr width=100% size=1>. . . . . . .<A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.marinersboatyard.co.uk>boatyard</A>
<hr width=100% size=1>. . . . . . .<A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.marinersboatyard.co.uk>boatyard</A>
BlueSkyNick
Active member
Just before our wedding, an old work colleague told me that marraige is great once you get through the first 25 years. /forums/images/icons/wink.gif Phew - only a couple more years to go!!
<hr width=100% size=1>Tide and time wait for no man.
<hr width=100% size=1>Tide and time wait for no man.
cloudnine
New member
Got it one Olly!!!
Been there done that (married twice), then tried LTR- failed after 4 years (troublesome son), now back single and looking forward to pi**in' off and having some fun!!
What does Stellagirl have to say on the subject?????
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Been there done that (married twice), then tried LTR- failed after 4 years (troublesome son), now back single and looking forward to pi**in' off and having some fun!!
What does Stellagirl have to say on the subject?????
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Olly
New member
Sounds like my idea of what marrige SHOULD be - lucky you!
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powerskipper
Well-known member
Pro and cons
Always having someone to phone if you want a chat or share something exciting
Always having to phone to say when your back.
Sharing meals with someone
always having to cook for someone.
sharing house hold chores
some times having twice as many to do.
having clothes you can borrow if you did not get the washing done,
being grumbled at for not getting the washing done.
In-laws/forums/images/icons/smile.gif
In laws/forums/images/icons/frown.gif
<hr width=100% size=1><A target="_blank" HREF=http://powerskipper.mysite.freeserve.com/>http://powerskipper.mysite.freeserve.com/</A>
Julie
Always having someone to phone if you want a chat or share something exciting
Always having to phone to say when your back.
Sharing meals with someone
always having to cook for someone.
sharing house hold chores
some times having twice as many to do.
having clothes you can borrow if you did not get the washing done,
being grumbled at for not getting the washing done.
In-laws/forums/images/icons/smile.gif
In laws/forums/images/icons/frown.gif
<hr width=100% size=1><A target="_blank" HREF=http://powerskipper.mysite.freeserve.com/>http://powerskipper.mysite.freeserve.com/</A>
Julie
Goodge
Member
Experienced both married and single life this year.
Started off married, had some 'time out' but returned to married life.
Marriage isn't always a bed of roses and complications such as children can make things more difficult.
Had a taster of single life again which I did enjoy but without too many details preferred to return to married / family life.
Had a fair bit of experience of LTR previously but my vote now goes with marriage.
Stellagirl... don't know whats on your mind but its still a leap year for 21 more days if your thinking of something........( and does he have a boat?)
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Started off married, had some 'time out' but returned to married life.
Marriage isn't always a bed of roses and complications such as children can make things more difficult.
Had a taster of single life again which I did enjoy but without too many details preferred to return to married / family life.
Had a fair bit of experience of LTR previously but my vote now goes with marriage.
Stellagirl... don't know whats on your mind but its still a leap year for 21 more days if your thinking of something........( and does he have a boat?)
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dralex
New member
I've been married for 10 years now and we've only just had our first child. IMO it really depends on your relationship and respect for each other. You see so many dysfunctional relationships that have become dysfunctional because the respective parties don't communicate- men are the worst culprits for this. Small problems become big problems and before you know it, divorce is around the corner. We're lucky because we both have the same job, have always earned roughtly the same amount and also both love sailing- equality helps a huge amount with negating a lot of the normal stressors on a relationship. Also, you need to work at any relationship at times- some people run away from problems. My view- always get things out in the open.
Ultimately, do what you want to do, but don't expect any of the options to be a permanent state of ecstasy 'cause life isn't like that.
BTW Why did you ask the question Stella Girl?
<hr width=100% size=1>Just enjoy it.
Ultimately, do what you want to do, but don't expect any of the options to be a permanent state of ecstasy 'cause life isn't like that.
BTW Why did you ask the question Stella Girl?
<hr width=100% size=1>Just enjoy it.
tome
New member
Married for me - it's great. I was single until 25 then married briefly then single again until 42. We've now been together 14 years and married 7. My wife is also my best friend, handbrake (occasionally), sailing companion, audience for my poor jokes and even worse guitar playing.
She's at home organising my birthday party right now and all my English family are turning up to 'surprise' me this evening. Some of them haven't spoken to each other for years so there could be sparks flying in our household. Brave girl!
Must dash - time for a haircut and pick up some weaponry. Interested to hear why you're enquiring?
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She's at home organising my birthday party right now and all my English family are turning up to 'surprise' me this evening. Some of them haven't spoken to each other for years so there could be sparks flying in our household. Brave girl!
Must dash - time for a haircut and pick up some weaponry. Interested to hear why you're enquiring?
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SlowlyButSurely
Active member
Married without a doubt, but it has to be to the right person. In my case that meant a girl who was witty, could helm, play football, drink beer and loved rock 'n roll. If she was pretty and could cook that was a bonus. Found one and married her.
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tcm
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as another said below...why do you ask?
IF this is a sideways question regarding your own situation then I can fwd some advice my ole mum gave me: "If you ever , ever ask about whether you should marry someone, the answer is NO you should not marry that person. You should be so certain that you will hapily ignore anyone or everyone's advice, and you just announce that you are getting married."
Being marrid is quite good for people above a certain age when hunting around shops or office for other half or ringing them at work, cos if challenged you can say "Out of my way I'm looking for my husband/wife!" and they all ooer run off and help find him/her. Whereas they are always a bit hm sneery if you are looking for your erm girlfriend/boyfriend, cos it sounds a bit pathetic. Really, this is the only difference between marrid and LTR - the public side of a relationship. The sexual and financila sharing can be just the same LTR and marrid.
Single, you can do anything you want. Mind you, then you die and nobody cares much. Whereas dying when marrid everyone cares a lot PLUS they get some your loot, altho that mite be why they care, depends. Er, there's probly more to it than this, I've forgotten....
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IF this is a sideways question regarding your own situation then I can fwd some advice my ole mum gave me: "If you ever , ever ask about whether you should marry someone, the answer is NO you should not marry that person. You should be so certain that you will hapily ignore anyone or everyone's advice, and you just announce that you are getting married."
Being marrid is quite good for people above a certain age when hunting around shops or office for other half or ringing them at work, cos if challenged you can say "Out of my way I'm looking for my husband/wife!" and they all ooer run off and help find him/her. Whereas they are always a bit hm sneery if you are looking for your erm girlfriend/boyfriend, cos it sounds a bit pathetic. Really, this is the only difference between marrid and LTR - the public side of a relationship. The sexual and financila sharing can be just the same LTR and marrid.
Single, you can do anything you want. Mind you, then you die and nobody cares much. Whereas dying when marrid everyone cares a lot PLUS they get some your loot, altho that mite be why they care, depends. Er, there's probly more to it than this, I've forgotten....
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ChrisE
Active member
Good god, I'll have to make a note of this date, tcm giving some good advice! Couldn't have put it better myself, well it would have been spelt correctly.
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Evadne
Active member
Married or Long Term Relationship gets my vote. Being single is defined as a state of waiting to meet the right person. Why else would single people go to pubs/discos/clubs or whtever? Being a bloke I don't think there is much to choose between the two but she thought otherwise, so after 7.5 years (and no "itch") we got officially married (that was 5 years ago).
As others have said, or implied, the important thing is getting the right one for you. Getting the wrong one is a pain I would not want to endure. Fortunately I had the foolproof way of finding out if she was that one, I introduced her to Evadne, and it was "love me, love my boat". Evadne was more austere, had fewer mod cons and smelt more of diesel in those days, so it was a severe test. 12 years later the boat has cushions, curtains, a holding tank and paintings (ahem! one by me). But she still smells of diesel, which my wife now admits is getting to be a pleasantly nostalgic smell. That's not what she said when she found the leaking fuel pipe had dripped onto the mars bar she was offered 11 years ago.
So, have you been tentatively asked The Question? Do tell.
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As others have said, or implied, the important thing is getting the right one for you. Getting the wrong one is a pain I would not want to endure. Fortunately I had the foolproof way of finding out if she was that one, I introduced her to Evadne, and it was "love me, love my boat". Evadne was more austere, had fewer mod cons and smelt more of diesel in those days, so it was a severe test. 12 years later the boat has cushions, curtains, a holding tank and paintings (ahem! one by me). But she still smells of diesel, which my wife now admits is getting to be a pleasantly nostalgic smell. That's not what she said when she found the leaking fuel pipe had dripped onto the mars bar she was offered 11 years ago.
So, have you been tentatively asked The Question? Do tell.
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