Single, LTR or married? NB

I'm married and loving it especially as my wife now loves sailing. I just need to tone down her expensive tastes in yachts and then we are sorted!

I once heard that

'If you fly it, float it or shag it, then rent it'

which still makes me laugh. Thinking about this I just need to buy a plane to fail on all three accounts...

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I've been married for 30 years - not all to the same man tho. I like to tell the current Mr B that the jury's still out as to whether im happy or not - it keeps him on his toes /forums/images/icons/laugh.gif

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Paul Getty - rubbish advice

"if flies floats or (censored), rent don't buy. " summink like that. Total rubbish. The third is simply wrong. Lots of people own a boat, and that's lots more fun that renting (sometimes) cos you can spanner it and there's all that joy of ownership thingy. Also buy a plane is ok, tho a bit erm scary if yiou buy a ded cheap one like i did and get the wife to fly it, so ahem we packed that in.

Like all Getty advice, the advice is correct ONLY if your goal is amassing money above all else. But the huge loads of money (at the expense of all else) didn't seem to have made Getty happy, nor many of his family. Probably cos he didn't buy a boat, or a plane, i think...


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Married definitely. We've been married 30 years.

1. Without her I'd be a gibbering wreck.
2. The word partner is offensive - I've had business partners (the proper meaning) and I never wanted to shag 'em.
3. The fact that you make promises in front of others is (IMHO) extremely important.

The fact that a lot of marriages break up is not because the institution itself is bad or outdated but rather because everybody wants everything now...without working at it everyday.

Strange as it may seem, I think TCM has some good words to say. I saw SWMBO when I was 13 and new straight away she was something special.

Magic

Magic

<hr width=100% size=1><A target="_blank" HREF=http://practical-business.co.uk>Click for website!</A>
 
and...

fairly recently, a young chap at work was publicly wondering about his relationship, unseen gilfr seemed keener than him to buy a house together and get married, and he told of her going "potty" if he was home even 10minutes later than normal. It was a bit painful, really.

So, payrise time, i'm afraid to admit that I sortof casually asked much *extra* payrise he might want PROVIDED that he chucks his girlfriend! At which point of course he shd've marched out in a huff and i run after him and say haha only a joke. But instead he asked for enuf to cover the rent if she left - £1200 pa. So i sed ok, £1400 if you dump her TONITE and he did! Which is quite good, sort of, ish, tho marginally off limits really and not to be found in most management books, ahem.

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I was told that it a case of

" not can you live with them but can you live without them"

Wise words from TCM, nicely put "Sir"



<hr width=100% size=1><A target="_blank" HREF=http://powerskipper.mysite.freeserve.com/>http://powerskipper.mysite.freeserve.com/</A>
Julie
 
What interesting set of replies...and most of them seem to be for marriage too.
I haven't been asked and no I am not going to do the asking! I suppose everyone goes throught a phase in their life when they wonder "what if" and "why" and I am having mine at the moment.
I have not come across many successful marriages in my time which makes me sceptical I guess but my faith has been slightly restored after reading this.

It doesnt help when you have a mother that is getting itchy feet for wedding bells and the word "grand" in front of her name...

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I know a lot of people at work who've got divorced for various reasons but often, as an outsider, you can see it coming a mile off. Pity we can't see ourselves so clearly form the inside probably.
The "grand" parent bit can become a problem, especially after you are married, if neither of you wants kids anyway, which is why living together for a few years is such a good ruse.
Really, once you get to a Certain Age (think: "Bridget Jones"), your parents are relieved to see you happily paired off with someone of the opposite sex and look on any further offspring as a bonus. For the first couple of months, at least. /forums/images/icons/smile.gif

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Tcm the new Relate consellor!!

Have you now finished the initial training or just thinking of doing it??!! Ha ha!

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Re: Tcm the new Relate consellor!!

um, i wondered if i mite end up in court for that one, so had to check if it is legal first! Apparently no prob at all. In fact, you can even bribe people to do other things as well, like erm, working.

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Hi Stellagirl. My poor mum had to wait 10 years to be " grand " and is now positively addicted to our little girl- it's like drug seeking behaviour. More seriously, IMO, do what you want now and enjoy it. There's lots of time to do the baby stuff ( I'm assuming you're relatively young)- ignore the pressure from potential grandparents and even if you do find a bloke you want to have kids with, don't rush it- have some fun together. Some people's whole relationships are based around their kids, which some will say is no bad thing, until they struggle in their relationship when the kids are gone. I think a relationship has to be self sufficient. This is alll sounding very grown up- I'm only 35, but I deal with relationship difficulties all the time and so feel a bit qualified to comment.

Is that all unwanted/ not needed advice?

<hr width=100% size=1>Just enjoy it.
 
Can just about remember being single (never could remember how I got home on Saturday nights though), married forty years this coming Sunday, LTR wasn't really an option in the 60's but it does appear attractive.

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Be careful about reading too much into these brief responses, they are probably biased. After all, anybody who is now married and would rather be single is unlikely to divulge that on here! They could well be the silent majority.

<hr width=100% size=1>Tide and time wait for no man.
 
Oh good grief. You're only 26 tell your mother to calm down and stopping fretting about being left on the shelf, no grandkids, dying sad and lonely etc etc. At least until you are over 30 when the pressure REALLY kicks in!

I was largely single for many years, occasionaly heartbreak notwithstanding. There are a lot of pluses, you can do what you want, when you want although you can turn into a hugely selfish person if you are not careful. I did tend to go through panic stages wondering whether I would every find someone. What it did do is make me very much appreciate my friends and social circle and work very hard to maintain/expand it. The downside of course being that you tend to mix with the same people all the time and dont meet so many new people.

I made the decision to try and change things a few years ago and deliberately put myself in circs where I would meet potential partners. The net result was meeting SWTSHBO (She who thinks she should be obeyed) and a relationship that neither of us have to work at, feels very natural, will result in getting married next year and has already resulted in me emmigrating to Canada!

AJ

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Thanks Dave, I was wondering what the TLA LTR was.

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I think it is about commitment.
Marriage is one.
If you can't commit - don't marry.
Having seen hundreds of teenagers through their most difficult years, I am convinced that a loving home is more important to them than anything else. I would even go overboard and say that parents of teenage kids, who separate or divorce, should be had up for child abuse.
It is one reason for a society to do everything they can to support the family. Unfortunately educating people to understand commitment is very difficult indeed - and probably has to be done in the home. I wish I knew how. A good role model helps.
What has this to do with your question ? Yeah - marriage is good, but wish she sailed - or biked !
Ken

<hr width=100% size=1><A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.canongrange.co.uk>Bed and Breakfast, cathedral Green Wells, Somerset Canon Grange</A>
 
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