Scientific question

[Twister_Ken]

Why, when sitting in the cockpit eating cherries and flipping the stones over the side do some cherry stones sink, while other remain afloat.

As my patent application for a cherry-stone filled life preserver is about to go through (it will be called Cherry Preserve and sold in a rather tasty shade of cerise), I feel it is important to find a way of categorising cherry stone behaviour.

As an aside, all olive stones sink.

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[tcm]

i believ that some of the stones have small seeds innem, and hence more air, whereas others are more developed full of seed and hence sink. Could you please repeat the tests and verify whether quite manky mushy ripe cherry stones therefore sink, whereas the stones from not-so ripe ones float.

Your final statement seems somewhat sweeping: are these green olives or black?

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[Twister_Ken]

State of mushiness not a factor in buoyancy.

PS. Only a bounder would eat green olives.

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[jimi]

really need some more details .. are you sure they were all cherries and some were'nt grapes or pickled eggs?

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[AndrewB]

OK Ken, you\'re nicked.

Merchant Shipping Act 1995 and international convention MARPOL 73/78, forbid the discharge of food waste within 12 miles of land.

The cherry stone might be overlooked, for a first offence, but the olive definitely counts as 'oil discharge'. Sorry to have to do this son, but it's more than my jobs worth.

 

[bigmart]

I like green Olives!

Are you calling me a bounder?

By gad Sir choose your weapons!

Martin

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[Twister_Ken]

Re: OK Ken, you\'re nicked.

Cherry stones are not food, at least, not for me. Ergo, they cannot be food waste.

For the purpose of the act, you will notice that I did not state at what distance offshore the cockpit in which I was sitting was situate.

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[Twister_Ken]

My weapon of choice? An overripe banana. Organic, naturally.

Or a green olive, flicked from the palm of the hand by a forefinger. Lethal at five paces.

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[charles_reed]

Re: OK Ken, you\'re nicked.

Definitely on the defensive - I think he's guilty.

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[tcm]

Re: Hypothesis B

The floating cherrystones have perhaps not been as scrupulously sucked clean as the sinking ones. This rather threatens the proposed lifejacket.

Couldn't you use apples as the filling, with obvious benefit of having a nice afternoon snack as the lifeboat arrived? Or at least, compensation when one of the floating crew snuffed it - hurrah, more food. Mind you, this might encourage mutiny. So, onions perhaps, which would encourage eyes to water, and counteract the salty atmosphere. I can see a whole range of fruit-and-veg based lifejackets whicj will be an absolute winner.

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[Twister_Ken]

Re: OK Ken, you\'re nicked.

We are all guilty. That's the whole premise upon which Christian religion continues to find new customers.

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[jimi]

Re: OK Ken, you\'re nicked.

Beg to differ .. having passed through your bowels , they definitely constitute food waste. Have you considered a holding tank?

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[Twister_Ken]

Brand extensions

Do lilies float? They would make a most appropriate filling for the lifejackets of those who abandon ship in seemingly hopeless circumstances.

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[Twister_Ken]

On holding tanks.

I certainly considered yours. It was difficult not to.

BTW, I understand property prices in the vicinty of Hythe Marina Home for the Plumbingly Confused have now begun to appreciate, after several years of stagnation.

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[ccscott49]

Ah! One of lifes little mysteries! I'm not telling! So there!

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[jimi]

Property Prices

Bad time to buy in Hythe top of the market this week, prices will plummet next monday ... Brixham is the hot purchase tip for this week. I am open to offers and will relocate to any location for a suitable consideration.

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[bigmart]

I'm Glad you went the Banana route, as I discovered a supply in my food locker, the other day. Isn't it delightful the way the stinking fluid runs through your fingers.

I am also an expert with the Olive Stone squeezed between forefinger & thumb. Beware!

Martin

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[Twister_Ken]

Venue

It appears that if we wish to pursue this altercation using food weapons, we will be required to so 12 miles or more offshore. Of course if we wanted to shoot each other full of holes, or carve chunks off with swords we could do that in a convenient marina.

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[bigmart]

Re: Venue

I forsee a problem here.

The condition of my bananas is such that I fear they will not survive the journey. Have you an alternate suggestion.

Personally I feel much more at home with competitions that involve the consumption of large quantities of Alcoholic beverages or food(in edible condition)

Martin

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[NigeCh]

Let\'s re-write the story sofar:

In the beginning was the pip and the pip saw that it was too small so it mutated to a cherry stone; But the cherry stone was either a floater or a sinker so it mutated to a black olive stone and sunk.

But the release of oil from the olivestone caused great grievance at Cantabulum and the wrath of the sentinel was released upon the thumb twister who had cast the stones upon the ocean and with the powers that were enacted so a great act was created that told him and all casters of nuts to sow them that sink elsewhere.


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