jellyellie
Well-Known Member
Sea, where are you at the moment location-wise?
I think I have told you before that my boyfriend and I (21 and 19 respectively) are also currently living aboard our Colvic, a Colvic Victor 34 (incidentally built in 1980 and a totally solid, seaworthy, dependable cruising vessel who we both entrust our lives to). We're in Gosport, but have vague plans for some kind of extended cruise next year, potentially a round-Britain, and we'd love to elope to warmer climes in the near future. We each have a plethora of previous experience, but this seas we've been cruising the Solent, and took a week off to do a longer trip down to Dartmouth (which is an absolute haven - we loved it) which really proved ourselves to each other, and Milestone more than proved herself to us. It really reinforced her seaworthiness to us - we are immensely proud of her.
I agree with above posters that it's not the age of the boat that matters, it's the condition, and I think your girlfriend may have deeper concerns other than age of your boat. But nobody really knows - except what she tells you. Which is why it may be a good idea for her to have some friends who know a little bit about boats that she can talk to, and express and hopefully alleviate her fears. I would really like to talk to your girlfriend - does she have many sailing friends, particularly female ones, whom she can talk to about her fears? Perhaps she does - but if not, I would be happy to talk to her, as I know it's hard to find people our age with the same plans.
I also agree that there is nothing like getting out there and sailing. It's a great idea to let her skipper, but from experience, it's very hard to actually make it work. It's easy for you to say you won't do anything, but in reality that's hard to achieve, and even if you do manage just to sit there looking hunky, for the girl - at least for me - it hasn't really felt like I'm skippering - you will always be there to fall back on. Something that really helped me develop my skippering to Yachtmaster level is to follow the RYA practical courses. I couldn't recommend enough that your girlfriend undertakes one - being unsure of her real practical level of ability, I don't know enough to recommend which one she start with, but Day Skipper theory + practical sounds like it could be right. From my experience, it is incredibly beneficial for the girl to find her own sea legs and gain experience and confidence away from her partner. It takes away the whole feeling of relying on you, and really makes us do everything for ourselves. Of course, the instructor is always there to fall back on, but it's different dynamics. I honestly think this is the one best thing your girlfriend could do to help herself - that is, of course, taking for granted the fact that she wants to help herself, and really does want to make your goal a reality as you say. I was very lucky to find an absolutely outstanding instructor (who happened to be female) who runs women's only courses, as well as mixed, and has taught me, pushed me and made me 100% confident of my own abilities as skipper (not including my hatred of boathandling!).
Now James and I work as a brilliant team - he has the natural born sailing ability, boathandling confidence and engineering skills. I am the most proficient navigator as I have a natural love of reading, am good with theoretical/academic things and love turning our logbook into a scrapbook; I am also safety queen and teacher - so when we take friends out sailing I'm the one who'll do a full safety brief and generally teach them how to sail, whilst James pretends he's racing a dinghy and runs round eeking every last bit out of Milestone. That's what you need to be aiming for - a team, where you each have your own proficiencies but can learn from the other about your weak areas.
I think I have told you before that my boyfriend and I (21 and 19 respectively) are also currently living aboard our Colvic, a Colvic Victor 34 (incidentally built in 1980 and a totally solid, seaworthy, dependable cruising vessel who we both entrust our lives to). We're in Gosport, but have vague plans for some kind of extended cruise next year, potentially a round-Britain, and we'd love to elope to warmer climes in the near future. We each have a plethora of previous experience, but this seas we've been cruising the Solent, and took a week off to do a longer trip down to Dartmouth (which is an absolute haven - we loved it) which really proved ourselves to each other, and Milestone more than proved herself to us. It really reinforced her seaworthiness to us - we are immensely proud of her.
I agree with above posters that it's not the age of the boat that matters, it's the condition, and I think your girlfriend may have deeper concerns other than age of your boat. But nobody really knows - except what she tells you. Which is why it may be a good idea for her to have some friends who know a little bit about boats that she can talk to, and express and hopefully alleviate her fears. I would really like to talk to your girlfriend - does she have many sailing friends, particularly female ones, whom she can talk to about her fears? Perhaps she does - but if not, I would be happy to talk to her, as I know it's hard to find people our age with the same plans.
I also agree that there is nothing like getting out there and sailing. It's a great idea to let her skipper, but from experience, it's very hard to actually make it work. It's easy for you to say you won't do anything, but in reality that's hard to achieve, and even if you do manage just to sit there looking hunky, for the girl - at least for me - it hasn't really felt like I'm skippering - you will always be there to fall back on. Something that really helped me develop my skippering to Yachtmaster level is to follow the RYA practical courses. I couldn't recommend enough that your girlfriend undertakes one - being unsure of her real practical level of ability, I don't know enough to recommend which one she start with, but Day Skipper theory + practical sounds like it could be right. From my experience, it is incredibly beneficial for the girl to find her own sea legs and gain experience and confidence away from her partner. It takes away the whole feeling of relying on you, and really makes us do everything for ourselves. Of course, the instructor is always there to fall back on, but it's different dynamics. I honestly think this is the one best thing your girlfriend could do to help herself - that is, of course, taking for granted the fact that she wants to help herself, and really does want to make your goal a reality as you say. I was very lucky to find an absolutely outstanding instructor (who happened to be female) who runs women's only courses, as well as mixed, and has taught me, pushed me and made me 100% confident of my own abilities as skipper (not including my hatred of boathandling!).
Now James and I work as a brilliant team - he has the natural born sailing ability, boathandling confidence and engineering skills. I am the most proficient navigator as I have a natural love of reading, am good with theoretical/academic things and love turning our logbook into a scrapbook; I am also safety queen and teacher - so when we take friends out sailing I'm the one who'll do a full safety brief and generally teach them how to sail, whilst James pretends he's racing a dinghy and runs round eeking every last bit out of Milestone. That's what you need to be aiming for - a team, where you each have your own proficiencies but can learn from the other about your weak areas.
