Rip van winkel’s hat …

[ParaHandy]

I found a yacht master's hat in my boat … it didn’t look much like a hat but once the parrot droppings had been scraped off …

The hat is not dissimilar to the titfer worn by sean connery in red oktober except it doesn’t have a russian naval badge on it, obviously, although for all I know russians might prefer hats covered in parrot shit. I know I’m name dropping here because, after all, I might have had sir sean on ma boat for all youse peasants nae aboot it …

I took it over to the local milner for rehab. It is now in pristine condition, ready for a sea trial. Not being a ym, of course, the soporific and somnabulance inducing qualities of this fine bonnet are unlikely to work but … there maybe someone out there appropriately qualified and who wishes to avail themselves of this opportunity … drinks not included



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[claymore]

Youse is lucky, ma shun - efter ra pair o'yez hed done time oan Claymore, there wiz a pair o' grundies under ra saloon table. Noo we baith ken as wee Jamesie didnae change sae they misht be doon tae yersel?

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Claymore
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[jimi]

Och could ye descrbe thum? Wiz they a leopard skinnie thongie thingie?

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[ParaHandy]

the life cycle of claymore\'s grundies ...

when new: a short period is spent covering his doolallies and sometimes, for a treat, they get an extended overnight run
after a while: discarded pairs gravitate to the patio for window cleaning, dusting etc
after a wee while: they get run up the flagpole where, from a distance, they pass off as the red duster ... indeed, being challenged in this department, our hero takes the description red duster literally ...

onyways, youse ken fine that ra jimi wus snoring his heid aff on ra saloon table so they're nae mon .............

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[sailorman]

which berth did u find it in, port or stbd. perhaps the "warp locker" even?.

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[ParaHandy]

.. well .... port ... clue was the feathers ... knew something had been living roundabouts ...

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[claymore]

Re: the life cycle of claymore\'s grundies ...

There seems tae be a bit lace aroon the back an its yin o' they split crotchie jobbies - ah'm sure they belang tae yerself?

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Claymore
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[ParaHandy]

Re: the life cycle of claymore\'s grundies ...

hoots mon .... ah'd no be surprised if thon boatyard up there hav'nae been rinning ra hoose o' ill repute oan yer boat ... thon are nae ma knickers

ah'm serious mon ... wi' orra fashilities youse goat on yer boat, ah can jist see thon scunners at it a' day and nicht .... if it wus ma boat ah'd be up there thish instant and put ra end tae a' this .. forsooth ra cradle micht no tak ra rocking and rolling which ye've goat tae agree thon'd hae tae be awfy energetic as ra heating micht no be working awfy well ...?

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[Ohdrat]

Re: lepard skin thongs

Aren't they the ones that Davey Jones is galivanting around in?

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