Ponder this!

[ToMo]

Over the past few years, more money has been spent on breast implants, penis enlargement, and r&d on viagra than on the study of alzheimer's. In a few years we will have a lot of people running around with huge blousements(!) and long willies and they won't remember what to do with them.
TôMö

 

[hlb]

I cant remember the answer ToMo. What is it!

Haydn

 

[PGD]

Better keep taking the S*****N then, cheers and down the hatch

 

[jfm]

That\'s a little more detail than we need

ToMo please keep details of your own family budget matters private. The rest of us spend more of our money on boats than breast enlargements etc ;-)

 

[ToMo]

A Lemon! nm

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[claymore]

I\'ve started using

Viagra Biscuits - they don't go soft when you dunk them....

 

[ccscott49]

Re: I\'ve started using

Now, that one I do like! Tee Hee.

 

[aztec]

dont use viagra!

please, don't use viagra... i had this mate right... he said to his Mrs that he would try it..... she agreed.... bad idea!.... what happened was... he took aforementioned pill type thing..... started to feel warm.... the pill got stuck in his throat....... woke up the next morning with the mother of a STIFF NECK.....aha.....aha ha ha.

 

[ccscott49]

Re: dont use viagra!

But whats the punchline, surely there is one?

 

[longjohnsilver]

Shipwreck

Boat carrying cargo of viagra was sunk last year in Lyme Bay, before lifeboat had chance to effect a rescue it was up again.... ha ha.

 

[ToMo]

Re: dont use viagra!

My poor innocent little (ha) butterfly! read the following:
"Diary Of a Viagra Housewife"

Day 1 -- Just celebrated our 25th anniversary with not much to celebrate. When it came time to re-enact our wedding night, he locked himself in the bathroom and cried.

Day 2 -- Today he told me he has a big secret to tell me. He's impotent, he says, and wants me to be the first to know. Why doesn't he tell me something I DON'T know! I mean, give me a break! He's been dysfunctional for so long, he even WALKS with a limp!

Day 3 -- This marriage is in trouble. A woman has needs you know!
Sometimes I need something too! Yesterday, I saw a picture of Cleopatras' needle and burst into tears!

Day 4 -- A miracle has happened!! There's a new drug on the market that will fix his "problem". It's called Viagra. I told him that if he takes Viagra, things will be just like they were on our wedding night.He asked me if this time I would say HIS name at the "glorious moment".

Day 5 -- Oh what a glorious morning!! The sun is shining, the birds are singing.
My needs have been fulfilled. Everything is perfect.

Day 6 -- Again!

Day 7 -- This Viagra thing is going to his head. (No pun intended) Yesterday, at Burger King, the kid behind the counter asked him if he wanted a whopper. He told him, "No thanks. I've already got one."

Day 8 -- I think he took too many over the weekend. Yesterday, instead of mowing the lawn, he was using his new "friend" as a weed stick.

Day 9 -- Okay, I admit it. I'm hiding. I mean, a girl can only take so much.
And to make matters worse, he's washing the Viagra down with hard cider!
The photo of Janet Street Porter isn't working anymore. What am I going to do?

Day 10 -- I'm basically being drilled to death. It's like going out with Black and Decker.

Day 11 -- I wish he was gay. I've bought him 20 Liza Minelli albums and the Sweatin' to the Oldies tape and he keeps coming after me.

Day 12 -- Now I know how Saddam Hussein's wife feels. Every time I shut my eyes, there's a sneak attack! It's like going to bed with a scud missile!

Day 13 -- I've done everything to turn him off. Nothing works. I even started dressing like a nun. He says penguins turn him on.

Day 14 -- I can't take it anymore. I think I'm going to have to kill him. I just worry about one thing-how will they ever get the lid to close on his coffin?

Now let that be a lesson to you <G>
TôMö

 

[ccscott49]

Re: Shipwreck

That was it! I'm going to jump off the side of the rig........second thoughts its 250' I'll reconsider!

 

[ToMo]

Don\'t be a wimp!..go on have a paddle! nm

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