graham
Well-Known Member
Just wondered if the panel has any tips??
Pleasuring Female on Unhygienic yacht.
- Thread starter graham
- Start date
jimi
Well-Known Member
Keep it clean
G
Guest
Guest
How many have you imbibed today Graham? /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
Porthandbuoy
Well-Known Member
If you succeed in getting your rythm in sync with the boats roll, everyone in the marina or anchorage will know EXACTLY what you are up to as your masthead sweeps through an arc of several feet. I speak from personal experience.
Perhaps a Flopper Stopper might help.
Perhaps a Flopper Stopper might help.
powerskipper
Well-Known Member
pack things up.
lock up boat,
book into a hotel,
female happy.
or
give her a nice meal, something to drink, turn the heat up high , so having to remove clothes to stay comfortable or down low so you have to snuggle under the only blanket you have on the boat to keep warm.
then just relax /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
lock up boat,
book into a hotel,
female happy.
or
give her a nice meal, something to drink, turn the heat up high , so having to remove clothes to stay comfortable or down low so you have to snuggle under the only blanket you have on the boat to keep warm.
then just relax /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
Davy_S
Well-Known Member
Dont fake an orgasm! she will know.
Norman_E
Well-Known Member
Quote "Perhaps a Flopper Stopper might help."
If it has gone floppy, I don't know why he is bothering to ask. /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif
If it has gone floppy, I don't know why he is bothering to ask. /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif
kds
Well-Known Member
" If it has gone floppy"
You miss the point - it is a flopper STOPPER he is talking about.
Ken
You miss the point - it is a flopper STOPPER he is talking about.
Ken
AuntyRinum
Well-Known Member
As long as her personal hygiene is good it's not a problem.
FullCircle
Well-Known Member
If this is a new female, make no compromises. Just turn out the way you usually do. That way, they will scheme to Mother you out of this festering thing by 'helping'.
If this is a new female who does not notice but ravages you anyway, well, enjoy, but mark this down as an adventure, not necessarily a life work.
If the female actually gets on board after a lot of persuasion, and sniffs a lot, sell her to a not very good mate.
My Limbo 6.6 would not have looked out of place on a council tip, but had remarkable elastic rotting powers at anchor with a thermos bag full of hors d'oeuvres, wine and two clean glasses, on a pleasant afternoon. Do not try this in a hoolie, or in a marina where your boat can be compared with Maximus the shiny thing.
It may interest you to learn that my dearly beloved SWMBO refused to stay on my Limbo on the basis that I had used it as a rutting vehicle for my previously insignificant others. I now recognise she was right, as we have a Jeanneau 35, unsullied by aforesaid others. So there is a God after all.
If this is a new female who does not notice but ravages you anyway, well, enjoy, but mark this down as an adventure, not necessarily a life work.
If the female actually gets on board after a lot of persuasion, and sniffs a lot, sell her to a not very good mate.
My Limbo 6.6 would not have looked out of place on a council tip, but had remarkable elastic rotting powers at anchor with a thermos bag full of hors d'oeuvres, wine and two clean glasses, on a pleasant afternoon. Do not try this in a hoolie, or in a marina where your boat can be compared with Maximus the shiny thing.
It may interest you to learn that my dearly beloved SWMBO refused to stay on my Limbo on the basis that I had used it as a rutting vehicle for my previously insignificant others. I now recognise she was right, as we have a Jeanneau 35, unsullied by aforesaid others. So there is a God after all.
trouville
N/A
Woman love the chance to start cleaning!!!
My girlfriend that works 12+ hours a day, has just fridays and sundays free,is now on "holiday"!!
She gets up at 7.00am goes downstairs and starts cleaning the kitchen puts the washing in the washing machine,by 9.00 shes in the celler hanging the wash before starting the hoovering.As i come down for my breakfast.Then we go for a brisk walk in the sun (as its a pity to miss the sun??)I then go off for the bread and shopping if needed.!!!
If we dont go out she starts takeing all the pots out as my washing up technique was not as it should be!!Late afternoon as i look at the open bottel of wine she annonces that we drank wine yesterday two!!Glasses i had!!!So we better drink tea tonight.ummmm
This morning i annonced i would go to my boat check the bilge lets some air in--She said she will come with me!
On the boat once she entered the cabin a screem! "OHHH how can you live in such a mess" and began cleaning the cooker and telling me how disgusting it was all around then she took all my beding all my cloths then found the tea towles Ahhhhhhhhh "what are these" Me, "tea towles" They are dirty you are a pig etc etc
Were now at hers an she talking talking talking to me, but i dont think she listens to what i say??? And im not allowed back on board untill its cleen again!!
My girlfriend that works 12+ hours a day, has just fridays and sundays free,is now on "holiday"!!
She gets up at 7.00am goes downstairs and starts cleaning the kitchen puts the washing in the washing machine,by 9.00 shes in the celler hanging the wash before starting the hoovering.As i come down for my breakfast.Then we go for a brisk walk in the sun (as its a pity to miss the sun??)I then go off for the bread and shopping if needed.!!!
If we dont go out she starts takeing all the pots out as my washing up technique was not as it should be!!Late afternoon as i look at the open bottel of wine she annonces that we drank wine yesterday two!!Glasses i had!!!So we better drink tea tonight.ummmm
This morning i annonced i would go to my boat check the bilge lets some air in--She said she will come with me!
On the boat once she entered the cabin a screem! "OHHH how can you live in such a mess" and began cleaning the cooker and telling me how disgusting it was all around then she took all my beding all my cloths then found the tea towles Ahhhhhhhhh "what are these" Me, "tea towles" They are dirty you are a pig etc etc
Were now at hers an she talking talking talking to me, but i dont think she listens to what i say??? And im not allowed back on board untill its cleen again!!
Lakesailor
Well-Known Member
[ QUOTE ]
she annonces that we drank wine yesterday two!!Glasses i had!!!So we better drink tea tonight.ummmm
On the boat once she entered the cabin a screem! "OHHH how can you live in such a mess" and began cleaning the cooker and telling me how disgusting it was all around then she took all my beding all my cloths then found the tea towles Ahhhhhhhhh "what are these" Me, "tea towles" They are dirty you are a pig etc etc
[/ QUOTE ]
Is this the same woman who won't normally come on your boat?
Things are stacking up badly here.
she annonces that we drank wine yesterday two!!Glasses i had!!!So we better drink tea tonight.ummmm
On the boat once she entered the cabin a screem! "OHHH how can you live in such a mess" and began cleaning the cooker and telling me how disgusting it was all around then she took all my beding all my cloths then found the tea towles Ahhhhhhhhh "what are these" Me, "tea towles" They are dirty you are a pig etc etc
[/ QUOTE ]
Is this the same woman who won't normally come on your boat?
Things are stacking up badly here.
FullCircle
Well-Known Member
Au Contraire my Lakebound friend, things are looking up indeed.
Trouvilles G/F has entered the Mothering stage, and he lets her do it, so she is involved. See my scenario 1 above.
Very positive Trouville, keep it up, and work on increasing the wine ration.
Trouvilles G/F has entered the Mothering stage, and he lets her do it, so she is involved. See my scenario 1 above.
Very positive Trouville, keep it up, and work on increasing the wine ration.
trouville
N/A
/forums/images/graemlins/confused.gifIt wasent what i imagined before christmas!!
The tea towles have tea stains!!! /forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif Theyve been condemed! We went to a shop with sales and bought new ones /forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gif The others were Irish linen!! /forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif
Ive also got new covers for my bed and new sheets which shes sewn along the edges to make a sheet sleeping bag.Ive saved the old ones as they are silk!!!
Ive taken a glass of wine! /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif But is it good for me?? /forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif
Shes not normaly like this?? /forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif /forums/images/graemlins/confused.gifAt least it never was,i wonder if ive done something i dident intend??? /forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif
Oh yes this is my girlfriend from before and then she wouldent come on board my sailing boat as "there wasent room for us both" There still isent! I stood in the cockpit!!
Oh she also condemed my landrover as "unecologic" and gave me the keys to her minicooper which is unbeilevably uncomfortable and if you put anything on a seat it slides off at the first corner, the air bag fail light has also come on as im heaveyer than her--it always did that when i drove it!!
Is BBC2&3 ITV1 2 4 or film 4 good TV?? She might subscribe if as she just said im hear more often and not just the two weeks a year??? She sees me.Female time!! we meet for a week in summer!!
Are those TV chanels work watching? They all seem to show old repeats???I just looked online /forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gif
The tea towles have tea stains!!! /forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif Theyve been condemed! We went to a shop with sales and bought new ones /forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gif The others were Irish linen!! /forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif
Ive also got new covers for my bed and new sheets which shes sewn along the edges to make a sheet sleeping bag.Ive saved the old ones as they are silk!!!
Ive taken a glass of wine! /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif But is it good for me?? /forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif
Shes not normaly like this?? /forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif /forums/images/graemlins/confused.gifAt least it never was,i wonder if ive done something i dident intend??? /forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif
Oh yes this is my girlfriend from before and then she wouldent come on board my sailing boat as "there wasent room for us both" There still isent! I stood in the cockpit!!
Oh she also condemed my landrover as "unecologic" and gave me the keys to her minicooper which is unbeilevably uncomfortable and if you put anything on a seat it slides off at the first corner, the air bag fail light has also come on as im heaveyer than her--it always did that when i drove it!!
Is BBC2&3 ITV1 2 4 or film 4 good TV?? She might subscribe if as she just said im hear more often and not just the two weeks a year??? She sees me.Female time!! we meet for a week in summer!!
Are those TV chanels work watching? They all seem to show old repeats???I just looked online /forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gif
RutlandMike
Well-Known Member
How many glasses have you had?? Sounds like you've needed them. You sound like a man I know very well who celebrated his 18th wedding anniversary and sensibly divorced before the 19th- GET OUT NOW WHILE YOU STILL CAN!! /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
pheonix
Well-Known Member
The chance would be a fine thing but dont tel swmbo. As things are because my humble craft isn't verry conducive to mixed sailing "open heads area and single cabin", she is quite happy to let me do the sailing whilst she stays at home doing the gardening. However who am i to complain about being sent out to play whilst she is up to the elbows in compost. /forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif
CalmSkipper
Well-Known Member
trou - do i sense a degree of approval in your declared reluctance towards hygene and the feminine touch being added to your boat??? /forums/images/graemlins/smirk.gif
trouville
N/A
I have to say that once a female has gone over the boat it dose seem fresher and more airy.The sheets are nicer to sleep in and the plates and cutlery tidy!
The downside will be in a few months when i have to leave the port for summer (as i let my yearly place to a friend who can afford it!!!) I dont know what she will say but if shes angry ill be reminded of every grease spot and tea stain she found!!!! Woman have an "interesting" memory recall!!
The downside will be in a few months when i have to leave the port for summer (as i let my yearly place to a friend who can afford it!!!) I dont know what she will say but if shes angry ill be reminded of every grease spot and tea stain she found!!!! Woman have an "interesting" memory recall!!
CalmSkipper
Well-Known Member
Tell me if I'm wrong but I beleive two things are certain trou.
1. if all these domestic incidentals were anything to do with the sailing or the safety of your vessel they'd be well cared for and ship shape.
2. You are of course on trial by prospective SWMBO
My advice therefore is, if you would like this lady to to travel with you when you leave your berth for the summer, treat the domestic incidentals as if they were your tender or a navigational aid.........and if you don't, don't!
1. if all these domestic incidentals were anything to do with the sailing or the safety of your vessel they'd be well cared for and ship shape.
2. You are of course on trial by prospective SWMBO
My advice therefore is, if you would like this lady to to travel with you when you leave your berth for the summer, treat the domestic incidentals as if they were your tender or a navigational aid.........and if you don't, don't!
