Panto Time

[Bejasus]

Can't be, that's my wife....................ask Col....../forums/images/icons/laugh.gif

Still she must have the patience of a saint, so how about.............
Saint Joan of the Ark(Muckyfarter)

 

[MedDreamer]

Oh No

The day after the BBC present the "facts" about the Virgin Mary, I discover that Mother Theresa is a bigamist !.

Christmas will never be the same again

 

[hlb]

Oh, Harry's waiting for the big build up scene, when the action starts. When he can do the big rescue thingy. You can contribute you know.

Twas on the good ship Englander.
By hell you should have seen her.
The figure head was Tutts in bed.
With Byron pulling his cable.

The captains wife was pussy.
She did as she was able.
She gave the crew there daily do.
Upon the kitchen Table.

<font color=blue>Haydn

 

[MedDreamer]

This could be the community singalong at the end of the panto.

We need to go across to Scuttlebutt and, while they are all asleep, pinch an old sail that we can write the words on and drop it from the stage roof. I will then ride Harry onto the stage and as we sing point the words out with a boathook.

The audience will love it and it will lead nicely to the climax of the production (as Pauline has a leading role I am sure there will be a climax).

This should leave everyone with a warm Christmassy glow.

The West End beckons

 

[ccscott49]

Bizarre, be f....gzarre!! You lot been at the magic musshies again!! I can understand Harry, he eats them by accident, with the thistles!!

 

[jhr]

Next verse...

The Bosun's name was Haydn
He oft suprised a maiden
With his gleaming shaft*
Running fore and aft
Which maidens sometimes laid on

*(couldn't find a rhyme for outdrive)

I'll get my coat.....

 

[paulineb]

Make up your bloody mind Mr Producer

Am i the virgin heroine or involved in the climax at the end - I can't do both surely

Pxx

 

[hlb]

Oh yes. Well scrub that bit for the time being. It will do for the singalong in the interval whilst Jimmies handing out the icecreams and popcorn.

<font color=blue>Haydn

 

[jimmie]

The captain's mate was Colin,
By god he had a small one,
But you should have seem him later,
Spudding a big potato


oops

Jemz

 

[ccscott49]

Re: Make up your bloody mind Mr Producer

You can if you lose your virginity in the final scene, when one of the ugly sisters (me) turns into prince charming! This is a multiple orgasm panto!

 

[MedDreamer]

Re: Make up your bloody mind Mr Producer

Pauline

In my version I had you cast a the virginal heroine (it would have a been a tour de force I am sure) but in Mrs Tutts version - which is much further advanced than mine, you have a - oh dear how can I put this - much saltier part.

I like to think though that in whichever version we go with you will be central to the climax at the end

Martyn

 

[ccscott49]

No tellin' tales, remember you promised!

 

[paulineb]

Re: Make up your bloody mind Mr Producer

You're spending too much time on the rig Colin

Pxx

 

[hlb]

Re: Make up your bloody mind Mr Producer

Hang on, Hang on. I'm loosing the plot. Can anyone remember who we've got on board yet and Hoo, well yes we've missed him so far, he needs a part. Not forgetting B1. do they have computers on this vessel?? So better get every one on board then we can begin. Pauline I suggest you get some little helpers. Or a bottle of soltron!!

<font color=blue>Haydn

 

[ccscott49]

Re: Make up your bloody mind Mr Producer

I know, I bloody know!!!

 

[jimmie]

HOO

I see him as one of the old codgers watching from a box a lá Muppets. (I really think he's past it now).

Jemmzie

 

[paulineb]

Re: Make up your bloody mind Mr Producer

oops, raw nerve Colin xxxxxx

Pxx

 

[ccscott49]

Re: Make up your bloody mind Mr Producer

Nope! Just 'avin a giraffe, I'm fine!! I'm a very well balanced frustrated, horny little oilman!!

 

[Bejasus]

Re: HOO

(I really think he's past it now).

I think my much younger other half might have something to say about that.

and if you are going to have a go, at least get it right. It's h00 not Hoo or hoo or even HOO!!........................./forums/images/icons/cool.gif

 

[paulineb]

Re: HOO

why is it H00 ?

Pxx