Overheard in a Pommie Bar

[BrianJ]

Hey Fred wanna wee bit of adventure? Aye me lad, what do ye have in mind.

Well we Poms are always rowing from here or there... from Oxford to Cambridge or wherever, so why don’t we jump in the Jolly Roger and row somewhere interesting. Ok old boy, but where to. ?

Well do you fancy a bit of a trip across the Indian Ocean...? Bit far isn’t it. Oh no, doesn’t look all that far on the world atlas.

All right old boy, but what if we get into a spot of trouble,
Don’t worry; those chaps in the Royal Aussie Navy will go anywhere to rescue a Pom
-They don’t worry about the cost. Look they found Tony, pulled Isabelle out of the water twice have had experience with others...Nah they won’t mind a bit.

Wouldn’t it just be better if we carried some Aspro tablets or Bex powder if we get a headache...? Nah just call up on the old HF….Aspro is too expensive. The Aussies are sure to have a:” warship “on stand by to assist us.

OK lets go, but nothing will go wrong will it?
Brian J


<hr width=100% size=1>

 

[jimi]

Overheard in Aussie bar

Pom1: "I'd do anything to get away from this wretched continent, Its great except its full of ex-cons, but I'm skint!"
Pom2:"Same here mate!"
Pom1:"I know lets escape on a rowing boat and row away, it'll be a bit dangerous .."
Pom:"OK mate, at least it'll get us away from the buggers!

Several weeks later

Pom1: "Look the Aussie swine have sent a ship to recapture us!"
Pom2:"Just what I did'nt need .. ma heids sair enuff anyway!"

<hr width=100% size=1>

 

[Gunfleet]

jimi - superb! nm

<hr width=100% size=1>

 

[sailbadthesinner]

Re: Overheard in a Aussie Bar

Hey Bruce fancy a bit of a jaunt outta this hell hole

Yeh Blue what you got in mind

well i reckon we oughta head somewhere where there's some rare lookin sheilas rather than the brutes we gort 'ere#

yeh but whatta bowt some sheep if we dont get no sheilas

thoughta that already mate. pommie land. loadsa sheep next door in wales

whales? what you mean the whales ate all the sheep?

nah ye flamin galla. WALES. issa country next door to pommie land. a bit like new zealandif you know what a mean. Anyway we got the lingo sorted. My mate snowy's out there now. he says all we gotta is strap on the old sack off to earls court and we can get a bar job pretending to pull pints of guinness dead easy.

lets face it even the bloody poms that land ere decide they'd rather row out than stay.




<hr width=100% size=1><font color=red>if guinness is good for you. i must be very very good</font color=red>

 

[Ohdrat]

Re: Overheard in a Aussie Bar

ROFLM /forums/images/icons/laugh.gif @Jimi and Sailbad

We are eternally grateful that the Aussie navy will rescue our heroes .. Toni Bullimore et al..

Why is that New Zealand produces amazing adventurous heros but Aussie doesn't??

<hr width=100% size=1>

 

[Twister_Ken]

Re: Overheard in a Aussie Bar

Hey, don't forget Crocodile Dundee and Gentleman Jim Hardy.

<hr width=100% size=1><A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.writeforweb.com/twister1>Let's Twist Again</A>

 

[BrendanS]

Re: Bar or barred

Many, many eons ago, whilst a uni student, had the misfortune to hang around with some final year psychology students. Some of the female pyscho's decided to try an experiment, and each send identical job applications with one minor difference to several potential employers, and see which CV had the most responses. One CV was straight, the other had a minor addition to the 'hobbies and leisure activities' bit: Nymphomaniac. Enjoy sexual activities.

Us lads thought this a bit of a hoot, so we tried the same thing. One of mine was an application to emigrate to Oz. Occupation: Sheep Sh**ger.

Deadpan reply came back in mail. They already had their quota for this occupation. Oh, and by the way, if I was ever serious about emigrating there, they had me on record, and forget it boyo /forums/images/icons/laugh.gif

<hr width=100% size=1>Err, let me know if Depsol enters the forum, I'll go and hide

 

[jollyjacktar]

Re: Overheard in a Aussie Bar

NZders have to row further, ergo those that do not make it are never heard of again, those that do make it must by necessity be be hailed as heros. A couple of the NZ teams have even made it across the Atlantic ahead of all the other rowing escapees in recent years, even the female NZ team outrowed most of the rest.

<hr width=100% size=1>

 

[Guest]

Funny you should mention that, Beej. I met a bloke in a bar a year or so ago who was telling me all about these idiot naval types who go about "rescuing" just anyone, even first-rate seamen and navigators like him, utterly wasting public funds, just because they've got nothing better to do.

Bludgers.

He sounded a pretty good bloke for a Pom, too. Chap called Eric something-or-other. Done a lot of single-handing aroung the UK in-between rescues, he said. Eric... Eric... Eric Abbott, was it?
_________

By the way, did you hear they're talking about bringing back the ten-quid ticket, just for him? The Poms are offering to pay us £10 to take Eric Abbott off their hands. They maintain he costs them too much. I reckon they ought to up the ante a bit, though -- ten million woiuld still leave them ahead I reckon.
.

<hr width=100% size=1>