BarryD
New member
These are statements etc... attributed to Sir Winston Churchill (SWC) there must be more...
in reply to a question from a Labour MP about the concern of the whole country about the Korean conflict.
He replied, "I am fully aware of the deep concern felt by the Hon Member in many matters above his comprehension"
To set the scene, Winston Churchill is in the loo when his aide knocks on the door...
Aide: "Excuse me Mr Prime Minister but the Lord Privvy Seal needs to have a word with you immediately!"
SWC "Tell the Lord Privvy Seal that I'm sealed in the privvy and I can only deal with one sh!t at a time!"
To lady opo MP: Madam, would you sleep with me for a million pounds?
Lady MP: I would consider it!
SWC: Madam, would you sleep with me for 10 shillings?
Lady MP: Good God, what do you think I am?
SWC: I know what you are, I'm just trying to establish the price!
Nancy Astor: If I were your wife I would put poison in your coffee.
SWC: If I were your husband I would drink it!
On Clement Attlee.
A sheep in sheeps clothing.
A modest man who has much to be modest about.
On Baldwin, He occasionally stumbled over the truth but hastily picked himself up hurried on as if nothing had happened.
When George Bernand Shaw invited him to the first performance of a new play, he enclosed two tickets, saying "Bring a friend, if you have one".
Winston politely declined: "I cannot come, would it be possible to let me have two tickets for the second night,.... if there is one".
You Sir, have a tremendous grasp of the obvious...and little else
Bessie Bradock, "Mr Churchill you are drunk"
Churchill, "Mrs Bradock you are ugly, I shall be sober tomorrow"
Labour MP in the lobby, "Mr Churchill, I have no change, could you possibly loan me thrupence to phone a friend?"
Churchill, "Heres sixpence, phone all of them".
Churchill to the King talking about Montgomery.
Churchill, "I think hes after my job"
King, "thats a relief I thought he was after mine"
<hr width=100% size=1>Game over...
in reply to a question from a Labour MP about the concern of the whole country about the Korean conflict.
He replied, "I am fully aware of the deep concern felt by the Hon Member in many matters above his comprehension"
To set the scene, Winston Churchill is in the loo when his aide knocks on the door...
Aide: "Excuse me Mr Prime Minister but the Lord Privvy Seal needs to have a word with you immediately!"
SWC "Tell the Lord Privvy Seal that I'm sealed in the privvy and I can only deal with one sh!t at a time!"
To lady opo MP: Madam, would you sleep with me for a million pounds?
Lady MP: I would consider it!
SWC: Madam, would you sleep with me for 10 shillings?
Lady MP: Good God, what do you think I am?
SWC: I know what you are, I'm just trying to establish the price!
Nancy Astor: If I were your wife I would put poison in your coffee.
SWC: If I were your husband I would drink it!
On Clement Attlee.
A sheep in sheeps clothing.
A modest man who has much to be modest about.
On Baldwin, He occasionally stumbled over the truth but hastily picked himself up hurried on as if nothing had happened.
When George Bernand Shaw invited him to the first performance of a new play, he enclosed two tickets, saying "Bring a friend, if you have one".
Winston politely declined: "I cannot come, would it be possible to let me have two tickets for the second night,.... if there is one".
You Sir, have a tremendous grasp of the obvious...and little else
Bessie Bradock, "Mr Churchill you are drunk"
Churchill, "Mrs Bradock you are ugly, I shall be sober tomorrow"
Labour MP in the lobby, "Mr Churchill, I have no change, could you possibly loan me thrupence to phone a friend?"
Churchill, "Heres sixpence, phone all of them".
Churchill to the King talking about Montgomery.
Churchill, "I think hes after my job"
King, "thats a relief I thought he was after mine"
<hr width=100% size=1>Game over...
