Modern non nautical boat speak

I think education of those lacking nautical term knowledge is the key to improving things so found this and hope it proves useful :D


ABEAM -- a large length of metal, supporting something like a deck or a wall

ABOARD -- same as abeam , but made of wood

AFT -- anyplace behind the bow

ATHWARTS -- cross between foot fungus and growths on hands; caused by handling or walking on very active toads

AYE AYE -- expression of surprise, usually followed by "cheewawa"

BEARING -- what goes on around the pool

BERTH -- what you hope does not go on around the pool; also a parking spot for the ship. You have to look very carefully to see the lines painted on the water.

BOW -- bend over in honor; also pointy end of ship, usually passes through the water before the rest of the ship

BRIDGE -- where the Captain rants and rails when he gets stern

BULKHEAD -- very large toilet

CABIN -- closet-like space costing $300 per day, used for sleeping and not much else

COURSE -- what the Navigator is studying in his spare time at night school, hoping to figure out what an astrolabe or a sextant is

DAVIT -- killed Goliath, never went to sea

DECK -- 52 cards, used in casinos

DISEMBARK -- get off the Ark; a good example of just how old most nautical lingo is

DOCK -- member of ship's crew caring for passenger's health

DRAFT -- type of beer served in ship's bar

EMBARK -- get on the Ark

FATHOM -- measure of water depth, somewhere between 6 inches and 20 feet

FREEBOARD -- see abeam and aboard; this one costs nothing

FOR'ARD -- not a Mondeo or focus

FUNNEL -- the only place on the ship where you should see smoke, other than the bar; see stack

GALLEY -- where the slaves sit and row, or, in the case of modern ships, turn the screws

GANGWAY -- ramp where groups (gangs) of salespeople await the ship's passengers

HAWSER -- passenger from Indiana

HEAD -- something like a scuttlebutt or scupper, but with running water

HELM -- steering wheel or part of male anatomy

JACOBS LADDER -- song popular at camp

KEEL -- barnacle collector; don't worry, you can't see it, so don't expect to be invited to admire the ship's collection

KNOT -- not a mile-per-hour, but a little more

LATITUDE -- what the Captain will NOT give his crew, when he is stern (see), or ranting and railing (see)

LEEWARD -- in the direction of Atwater, Petty, Greenwood, or Harvey Oswald

LINE -- what can attract that blonde in the bar

LOG -- tree, lying down; could become aboard (see)

LONGITUDE -- like latitude, but longer

MASTER -- another term for the Captain; don't pronounce it Massa', or he may get stern (see)

NAUTICAL MILE -- not a real mile; too far to swim to shore

PITCH -- what the ship's bow (see) does in rough weather; what the passengers do, on the other hand, includes the word "throw"

PORT -- favorite nautical wine; also means "left" (both words have four letters, a mnemonic device useful to many); also city with ship berths (see), designed to create a giant sucking sound in the vicinity of your wallet

PORTHOLE -- the entry to a harbor; OK, it really means a small window that costs an extra $100 per day, but how funny is that?

QUAY -- another word for dock (see); arguing about the proper pronunciation can pass hours (kway? kay? key? kwie? who knows?)

RAILING -- what the Captain does when he gets stern (see); same as ranting

ROLL -- small bread served in dining room; also another motion of the ship in rough weather, but greatly reduced by stabilizers

SCREWS -- propellers; apparently turned by slaves in galley (see)

SCUPPER -- drain at the edge of a deck, to allow water to run off; if water is running in, see "sink"

SKIPPER -- slang term for a flying fish, or a flat stone

SINK -- unless there is a huge amount of frantic activity on deck, large stainless steel unit in the kitchen.

STABILIZER -- device to counteract ship's roll; several umbrella drinks will have the opposite effect, in case you want to experiment with what cruises were like before the invention of stabilizers

STACK -- refers to pancakes, funnels (see), or girls around the pool

STARBOARD -- like aboard (see), but pointing at the night sky; also means "right", which has absolutely no mnemonic relationship, so no one remembers it without thinking about "port" (see) first

STATEROOM -- cabin (see) where you can lie in state

STERN -- the Captain, when the crew acts like the crew of the Love Boat; also the roundy (or, on modern cruise ships, squarish) end of the ship. Usually passes through the water after the rest of ship.

TENDER -- how your skin will feel after the first day on a Caribbean cruise; also small boat to take passengers ashore, making them wonder why their port (see) taxes are not being used to construct a dock (see) with cruise ship berths (see)

WAKE -- what you won't want to do at 6 a.m., if you attended the midnight buffet

WEIGH ANCHOR -- complicated operation involving very large scales, necessary before every ship's departure

WINDLASS -- completely still; no wind

YARDARM -- important ship feature, determining if it's time for a rum
 
And, of course there are Bedrooms.

However, I do feel strongly about Port/Starboard/Left/Right
These are all correct and all have their place.
People try to get clever on a boat and say things like "to port when entering a harbour"
Nothing wrong with that but "on the left" seems more appropriate to me and any of my visitors instantly understand.
Conversly, it would be better to refer to the "port engine" rather than the one on the left because you might be facing backwards.
Port/Starboard are absolute descriptions Left/Right are relative.
Just a point that annoys me

Apart from that I agree with the OP

Or when entering the river you move to starboard to tie up on the left bank........

No point saying that to a noobe.
 
I can't comment as i'm not a subscriber, but even 'herself' (is that a nautical term?!) knows to understand the nautical basics when on-board, such as:

"We're running out of wine"
"Is the food ready yet?"
"Ah Jaysus, I said drop the fenders on the other side"
"Nah, let more anchor chain out"
"Would you please wash the side of the boat. [When completed with one side] No, the other side" (Lads, this one is invaluable!)

Brilliant ;)
 
Oi, remember LS1 is a particularly valuable member, if he says it's a "mizzen-trunnioned wozzle teaser," then it is!

John G
 
the fact that boat seats are now 'chairs' just confirms sloppy use of vocabulary.
You've got me confused on that one P. If something really is a chair, then is it not called a chair on a boat? Are you saying "chair" is never correct on a boat? What is this little Eames number, for example? Surely not a "seat"?
IMG_4473.jpg
 
The only nautical term that is still fixed in me from the age of about8 was when we needed a tow as we were battling with the tide going out at Wells. The wind was good and in our favour to tack upstream but by now the tide was ebbing( that's going out) we were making no headway until a nice chap in a wooden launch asked if we needed a tow, my Dad said yes please, the reply came " have you a painter aboard?" Painter my Dad said , what the hell would I need a painter aboard for , i m a train driver for British Rail. Will this rope do? Yes that's the one old fellow!
 
I'm with you LS1, but I believe us to be in an ever decreasing minority...

Heres the difference:
if you talk to a pilot of a light aircraft you would know within a few seconds if he really knew how to fly because it's a very very specialised technical vocabulary. The safety of the A/C depends on that technical knowledge.
Conversely if you talk to someone on a boat you can't tell if he actually does know how to operate the boat; many owners use vernacular landlubbers language.

So....
whats the point in using archaic jargon if the majority of boat owners don't understand what you're saying and it's not necessary for the safe operation of the vessel?
 
Some cousins of mine were trying to chat up some girls at a regatta a few years ago.
Given the girls had arrived in a yacht, a little bit of exaggeration ended up with my cousins punt turning into a large cruiser.

All going great, until they asked the girls where they parked their boat :-)
 
The only nautical term that is still fixed in me from the age of about8 was when we needed a tow as we were battling with the tide going out at Wells. The wind was good and in our favour to tack upstream but by now the tide was ebbing( that's going out) we were making no headway until a nice chap in a wooden launch asked if we needed a tow, my Dad said yes please, the reply came " have you a painter aboard?" Painter my Dad said , what the hell would I need a painter aboard for , i m a train driver for British Rail. Will this rope do? Yes that's the one old fellow!

Lol that's another good one :encouragement:, just proves that the correct terminology is not needed as rope/warp would of been plenty
 
I don't see the problem with this, things have names and thats what they are called. Most people know what parts of a car are called; bonnet, bumper, boot, wing etc.... I wouldn't ask someone to put
something in the cupboard at the back of my car.

Everyone after some basic exposure to boats should know what the bow, stern, mast, line are surely, maybe thwart and painter are unnecesary these days but surely you have to know some nautical terms or you shouldn't be in charge of boat at all.
 
I don't see the problem with this, things have names and thats what they are called. Most people know what parts of a car are called; bonnet, bumper, boot, wing etc.... I wouldn't ask someone to put
something in the cupboard at the back of my car.

Everyone after some basic exposure to boats should know what the bow, stern, mast, line are surely, maybe thwart and painter are unnecesary these days but surely you have to know some nautical terms or you shouldn't be in charge of boat at all.

spot on!

...although calling a painter a painter separates it from any other line/warp/rope/bit of string/thingy me jig on a boat, so why not call it a painter!?
 
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