Misleading advice

[photodog]

HMCustoms is very stringent in regards to the exportation of alcholic beverages from the UK.
However any UK yacht skipper is licenced to issue a reciept for excess alcohol which you leave in his care.
Upon returning to the UK take this reciept to any Publican, and they will happily redeem it for a equivialant quantity of Beverage.

 

[tome]

Amost all of us who sail are hairdressers, so don't be afraid to ask for a trim after a lengthy voyage

 

[duncan]

when overnighting in crowded harbours it is important to take both a bow line to the red visitor buoy and a stern line to the associated green one. where possible try and position your boat midway between them.

 

[BlueSkyNick]

If you see a tranvestite calling themself Julie, only at weekends, it's about time she had a good seeing to !

 

[LymingtonPugwash]

When meeting new yachtsmen you haven't been introduced to, it is considered polite to break the ice by showing interest in their boat by asking them if you could go below and see the golden rivet.

 

[tcm]

visitors can avoid problems associated with uk's low average temperatures by running the engine at a gentle tickover all night.

 

[Lakesailor]

Despite the usual impression, British sailors enjoy a puff of exotic substances. It is normal to suggest to the Harbourmaster that you have a good supply for interested parties.

 

[Lakesailor]

The usual custom for incoming boats in British marinas is to annoint the adjacent water by standing on the bow and urinating into the water and onto the jetties.

 

[Impaler]

There are no midgets on the West coast of Scotland.

 

[cliff]

[ QUOTE ]
There are no midgets on the West coast of Scotland.

[/ QUOTE ]Yes there are but there are no MIDGES /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
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Buying, Selling, thinking about it? -

 

[Impaler]

Midget midges even?

 

[Badger]

When entering the solent please remember to immediately drop or furl up your headsail and turn the engine on. Leave the main up and under no circumstances put up a motoring cone as you are now under what is called the traditional solent rig.As you look around you will see that all other yachts have adopted this highly effective sailing method.

 

[jonjo]

British yachtsmen are proud of the strong economic performance delivered by the nation’s favourite politician Tony Blair and feel their high marina charges confirm this success. At the first opportunity tell your British yachting neighbour how low your annual marina berthing charge is and watch him glow red with pride.

 

[jonjo]

Yachts are one of the few objects in the English language that have an associated gender and many British think of their yacht as female. If the opportunity presents, tell a British yachtsmen and his wife how much you "admire the shape of the old girl and that she looks like a real go-er".

 

[Oen]

The upper end of the Bristol Channel provides some of Britain's most beautiful anchorages. Choose a spot charted with 2 to 3 metres of water, and make certain to arrive exactly at low water. Don't forget to take the actual depth sounding on arrival and multiply it by three to calculate the amount of chain you must deploy.

 

[Oen]

The usual rules about courtesy flags do not apply in British waters. Instead, British yachtsmen are invariably delighted to see visitors from foreign climes proudly displaying a union flag at the pulpit.

 

[davel]

All UK marinas employ the "stern to" anchoring system commonly used in the Mediterranean.
When entering a slip, please drop your bow anchor three boat lengths from the pontoon, reverse into position and tie off the stern before pulling the anchor in tightly.
It's common for neighbouring boats to shout words of encouragement through this manoeuvre.

 

[[2068]]

As a sign of respect to any ship of the Royal Navy (or visiting ship of the US Navy), it is customary to approach at flank speed, turn parallel when as close as is reasonably possible (typically 5-10 yards), then sound five short blasts.

This practice is known as "dipping the ensign", and Naval personnel are trained to respond to it.

dv.

 

[[2068]]

Beaulieu River is unusual in the UK, in that the riverbed is privately owned by (the somewhat eccentric) Lord Montague.

Back in the golden age of British Powerboat racing, the river was used as a slalom course for boats up to 700hp. These days, organised mass races are no longer run, but the two courses (upstream and downstream) are still maintained and marked by lines of small sticks running the length of the river. Individual visiting powerboaters are encouraged to try for the annual award for fastest completion of the 6 mile run up to Beaulieu Quay: Signed and Witnessed statements of start/stop times and positions can be handed in to the Harbour Masters office for entry into the contest.

dv.

 

[BlueSkyNick]

Oi!! That's where my mooring is.