LJS is in the chair,


New member
16 May 2001
Just outside Budapest or In the Med (Corfu)
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oops no sorry he's fallen out again....never mind heres a couple of Parrot stories to make him feel better!
An accountant who liked birds was given a Parrot as a present, but she soon discovered that the bird liked to use rude
words and behave badly.

The accountant tried hard to change the Parrot's bad language and
attitude by talking to it politely and playing it soft music;
anything in fact that could show the bird a good example to
follow. But nothing worked. She shouted at the bird and the bird
shouted back. She shook the bird, but that just made matters

Finally, in desperation, she put the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments she heard the bird squawk and kick and scream, but
then there was silence. Not a sound for nearly a minute. Worried
that she might have hurt the bird, the accountant quickly opened
the freezer door.

The parrot calmly stepped out and said: "I believe I may have
offended you with my rude language and actions. I will endeavour
at once to correct my behaviour. I really am truly sorry and beg
your forgiveness."

Astonished at the bird's change in attitude, the accountant was
about to ask what had made such a dramatic change, when the
parrot continued: "May I ask what the chicken did?"

A lady approaches her priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem.
I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."
"What do they say?" the priest inquired. "They only know how
to say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. 'Want to have some fun?'"
"That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "but I have a solution
to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house and I will
put them with my two male talking parrots whom I taught to pray and read the
My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your
female parrots will learn to praise and worship."
"Thank you!" the woman responded.
The next day the woman brings her female parrots to the priest's house. His
two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady
puts her two female parrots in with the male parrots and the female parrots
say,"Hi, we're prostitutes, want to have some fun?"
One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and exclaims, "Put
the beads away. Our prayers have been answered!"
;-) that'll teach yer to ignore me!


New member
6 Oct 2001
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I thought you were going to say the priest sound shocked when they said prostitutes and then later say oh thats ok I thought they were saying they were protestants!!