Is the boating community a classless society.. You have to be joking.

[Blueboatman]

To the OP . Just sail yer boat and enjoy it, after all, you've paid for it!
Ten years from now I wager social nuance and etiquette À Bord will seem trivial and , possibly absurd. Good people bad people, simple innit .

 

[Koeketiene]

Unfortunately we are British and there is automatic class detectors built in.

As far as the British are concerned, we're classless, we're just 'foreign'.
The people who find that class matters will always make this clear to you - sometimes subtle, sometimes not - within the first 30 minutes of your first conversation.
No matter who/what you are, how long you've been here or how good/bad your English, you will always remain 'foreign'.
Being considered classless is actually quite liberating - you don't have to pretend to be anything you're not.

PS: we don't tend to mix much with people who think it matters what class you are.

 

[BrianH]

As far as the British are concerned, we're classless, we're just 'foreign'.
The people who find that class matters will always make this clear to you - sometimes subtle, sometimes not - within the first 30 minutes of your first conversation.
No matter who/what you are, how long you've been here or how good/bad your English, you will always remain 'foreign'.
Being considered classless is actually quite liberating - you don't have to pretend to be anything you're not.
PS: we don't tend to mix much with people who think it matters what class you are.

That reminds me.

A lifetime ago I was working in the UK for my Swiss company and it was coming up to Christmas. As the project was running late and close to handover I didn't want to waste much time travelling home and so I booked a rather posh, small hotel in the Lake District over the holiday period and my wife flew in for a few days. As soon as we had settled in I realised my mistake. Everybody knew everybody else; they had all been spending Christmas there since ever and we were clearly intruders. The owners and staff were great, introducing us to the other guests but despite a superficial politeness, I could tell we didn't fit.

But the amusing part was, how they tried to pigeonhole us into their social pecking order. After a lifetime of expatriation in many lands my English accent was not geographically to place - but clearly I was English - my Austrian wife was more difficult because her English was faultless, but clearly foreign. One by one they approached us with very transparent questions; we made a game of it and fielded all of them politely but without giving much away. They eventually gave up and left us alone, thankfully.

 

[onesea]

That reminds me.

Which reminds me of round here...
2 mothers meet in play park:
Do you live round here?
Arn't we so wonderful to live round here?
Wheree abouts round here do you live?
Oh your so lucky we only live in...

If you mention you live in the neighboring town your out and should be shopping in Argos...

 

[Koeketiene]

After a lifetime of expatriation in many lands my English accent was not geographically to place

The non-geographically specific, sometimes wandering accent is the ultimate give-away.
After spending a week on duty with a 'northerner' my accent adopts subtle northern undertones, whilst at other times it will be distinctly Thames Estuary.
And sometimes it's just 'foreign'.
A childhood spent in the Congo, South Africa, Canada, Britain followed by an adult/professional life in Belgium, France and Britain (again) can do that to a man.

Once I get the question 'I can't quite place your accent - where are you from?' I know we wont be venturing beyond polite superficial platitudes.

 

[FullCircle]

I am in real difficulty as I don't like anyone at all. People with smaller boats are just too poor to bother with, they haven't even got a shower on board, and people with larger boats obviously must be tax avoiders or criminals, or worse, born into money. I don't really get on with people with the same size boat as me, they are all bigoted and boring.

 

[capnsensible]

I am in real difficulty as I don't like anyone at all. People with smaller boats are just too poor to bother with, they haven't even got a shower on board, and people with larger boats obviously must be tax avoiders or criminals, or worse, born into money. I don't really get on with people with the same size boat as me, they are all bigoted and boring.

Apparently there are some around with only one yacht......

 

[ChrisE]

Apparently there are some around with only one yacht......

And, what's more they don't have a fishing boat either. Tush, the people you meet ....

 

[FullCircle]

And, what's more they don't have a fishing boat either. Tush, the people you meet ....

Fishing boat? You must be 'Trade'. Ewww.

 

[ChrisE]

Fishing boat? You must be 'Trade'. Ewww.

By fishing boat I meant my 68 ft Grand Banks, doesn't everybody have one? No wonder nobody wants to talk to you ...

 

[FullCircle]

By fishing boat I meant my 68 ft Grand Banks, doesn't everybody have one? No wonder nobody wants to talk to you ...

Grand Banks? Thats, ermm, 'American', isn't it, something like a Ford Edsel?

 

[Koeketiene]

I am in real difficulty as I don't like anyone at all. People with smaller boats are just too poor to bother with, they haven't even got a shower on board, and people with larger boats obviously must be tax avoiders or criminals, or worse, born into money. I don't really get on with people with the same size boat as me, they are all bigoted and boring.

Daddy

 

[henryf]

Really?

He is a second-hand car salesman who not only categorises people as the great unwashed, but quantifies his distaste by stating many of them would struggle to afford the tender let alone the actual boat they are looking at.

Nice!

I don't suppose his feelings for people poorer than him extends to him not taking their credit card details should they wish to spend time on his boat.

How incredidibly ironic that my last post prior to this was to the owner of a, in his own words,"very modest sailing boat" to see if we can meet up Saturday evening prior to a forum gathering on Sunday.

I met the chap through a gathering we organised at Cowes towards the end of last year and we have stayed in touch since. Not sure quite what I stand to gain financially from Colin but on a personal note we ended up crying with laughter over a couple drinks late into the night when we met last year.

You have taken part of one post out of 1,458, no make that 1,459 I have now made. At the time I took the time to explain myself but needn't have bothered.

As for the great unwashed, I have classified myself amongst them on more occasions than I care to remember. My previous posts are all there to be seen. I will leave it to people with far less going on in their lives than me to judge.

It is interesting that this thread and your last one were both brought to my attention by people clearly surprised at the picture you are trying to paint. But hey, why listen to people who know me and have met me when there is a perfectly good annonymous keyboard warrior who's never even seen me let alone talked to me to quote me out of context.

Henry

 

[Daydream believer]

. Everybody knew everybody else; they had all been spending Christmas there since ever and we were clearly intruders. The owners and staff were great, introducing us to the other guests but despite a superficial politeness, I could tell we didn't fit.

They eventually gave up and left us alone, thankfully.

I am sorry you did not get the welcome you wanted but to be hones it is a bit difficult when a group of friends meet up & their are outsiders ( for want of a better word) the outsider does not have the depth of knowledge about a lot of what is being discussed to enable them to mix in easily
However, i have noted 2 parts of your post & suggest that perhaps you are actually being a bit contradictory & these situations are not always one sided.
I appreciate that this is slightly different but it is a bit like new club members. They really have to push to join in a group & some find that difficult & others easy. That affects their perception of other members differently to how another might perceive it

 

[Martin999]

I do think their is a big difference between the Adventure sailors, ( for want of a better word )
ie, those that want to pop over to the Azores, or do an atlantic circuit,
to those who just day sail from one marina to the next.

I think this is right - I'm a weekend sailor - I don't have time (yet) to anything more - and I do find that those adventure sailors seem to get bored with my lack of experience and adventure which I suppose is not surprising - its not a class thing just about common interests

 

[timmygobang]

What about ageism? Most of the people in the marina are nearly double my age...I once wondered if this would be a disadvantage in meeting fellow sailors, but the more I work on my boat and getting her up to scratch, the more people stop by for a chat and exchange tips.

I think in general, there's a lot of nice people out there, and there's a lot of a***holes, you just have to accept it and not let it alter how you view people from particular backgrounds in the future. Otherwise you'll be rocking a stereotype the next time around from the other persons perspective.

 

[BrianH]

I am sorry you did not get the welcome you wanted but to be hones it is a bit difficult when a group of friends meet up & their are outsiders ( for want of a better word) the outsider does not have the depth of knowledge about a lot of what is being discussed to enable them to mix in easily
However, i have noted 2 parts of your post & suggest that perhaps you are actually being a bit contradictory & these situations are not always one sided.
I appreciate that this is slightly different but it is a bit like new club members. They really have to push to join in a group & some find that difficult & others easy. That affects their perception of other members differently to how another might perceive it

If I appeared contradictory then I did not explain myself well enough. After being met with the initial attitudes and then when each tried to outdo the others with their holidays and material acquisitions since they had last met. That didn't stop their individual forays to ask very direct questions. No, they were not making friendly overtures, they wanted to know our background and how to categorise us. However, in every other way we had a great time, good food and as the weather was fine, we walked a lot.

Yes, only my side of the story but that Christmas group was a dreadful bunch of braying bores.

 

[Wansworth]

I do think their is a big difference between the Adventure sailors, ( for want of a better word )
ie, those that want to pop over to the Azores, or do an atlantic circuit,
to those who just day sail from one marina to the next.

I think this is right - I'm a weekend sailor - I don't have time (yet) to anything more - and I do find that those adventure sailors seem to get bored with my lack of experience and adventure which I suppose is not surprising - its not a class thing just about common interests

Beware the singlehanded adventura sometimes they cannot stop talking about themselves till they come down off their own personel high.......a small coastal trip on the verg of your comfort zone,as they say, can be as good as anybodys travels...

 

[oldgit]

Once I get the question 'I can't quite place your accent - where are you from?' I know we wont be venturing beyond polite superficial platitudes.

Shame.... someone with an unfathomable accent is very probably far more interesting to natter with,than those sporting the usual placeable accent, basically I shall expect you to rattle off a few good exotic tales of derring do,rather than the normal middle england whining of lost pensions and how hard life is.

 

[dslittle]

I look up to him
I know where I belong.

Now there is a blast from the past. It made me laugh again just thinking about it.

Coming in to moor up in Croatia once, an older man, Tom, took my line and tied the fastest bowline I have ever seen. Relaxing with a beer later, I commented upon it and Tom just said he had been sailing a long time. He was a very nice man.

Later, I met some other crew of the boat that he had got off - they told me that he was the CEO of North Sails...