IMPORTANT NOTICE TO ALL FORUM USERS

[claymore]

The last financial transaction to be completed between the Tobermory Harbour Moorings Association and the Motorsailor Claymore was generously funded by ParaHandy Financial Services (Limited)
Any attempt to suggest that the fee (£10) had been paid by myself is incorrect and whilst this was done inadvertantly and without malice aforethought, I unreservedly apologise for any offence caused and would like to take this opportunity of advising members of the generous spirit of Parahandy whose giving hand has in no way withered and who made generous contributions of wonderful stew and Old Pulteney Malt during our recent gentleman's cruise.
I hope this resolves the issue
yours most humbly etc.etc.

<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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[ParaHandy]

Re: CAULIFLOWER UPDATE

The well known acquaculturist, Claysie, who daringly planted this species of brassica in Tobermory Bay has been rewarded today with the news that marine life has returned to the bay with the unexpected appearance of killer whales, great white sharks, jacques cousteau and other mammals feeding on the nutritious Factor X bed of vegetable. ParaHandy Financial Services (Ltd) are proud to have taken part in this ground-breaking technology.....

.... a donation by an anonymous donor to the Fleetwood RNLI .....



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[jimi]

Weel the residents of the Western Isles should be awfie glad ye dinna hae a hauding tank, hid ye wan the guid shit Claymore wid hae been blown apart by noo!

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[claymore]

Anonymous Donor

Is this youse invitin me tae pairt wi anither o' ma fivers?

<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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[claymore]

Haudin tanks

Ah cannae fer ra life in me unnerston' why ye'd want tae be hangin on tae yer jobbies. Jings - did Para no create ra reef single arsedly and whit size o a tank wid it hef takken tae contain that wee mountain?
Better a danger tae shippin than cairtin it a' aroon ra coast lookin fer a tanker big enuf tae shift it.

<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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[ParaHandy]

Re: Anonymous Donor

weel ... we've ne'er seen yin o' yer tenners ..... !!!!!!


stop it ... pls .... I canna dae ony work fur hooting wi mirth
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[bob_tyler]

Re: Anonymous Donor

I was enjoying this thread until it suddenly reverted to a weird foreign language that makes little, if any, sense!!

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[TroyTempest]

Re: Anonymous Donor

Welcome to Scotland!

Any of you lot out near Largs/Fairley/Rhu this coming weekend?

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[claymore]

Re: Anonymous Donor

Unfortunately I will be at Largs.
I say unfortunately as I'm spending my annual weekend on a friends Grand Banksy trawlerytypiethingy. If I see anything that looks like the picture on your profile, I'll order up more steam and give you a wash or whatever we do to you raggies. (notice instant change in code of ethics and loyalties - I do this when I'm riding my bike as well)

<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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[claymore]

Re: Anonymous Donor

Robert
If I might translate in order that your continued enjoyment of the thread is assured.
Basically I inadvertantly suggested that it was my tenner that paid for the mooring charge.
ParaHandy who is as close to his wallet as anyone could be, was going ashore to replenish his internals and had a tenner in his hand rather than taking the full wedge. He tripped climbing out of the wheelhouse and thrust his hands forward as one does in this situation. The man from the Tobermory Harbour Association was at that very moment alongside to discuss with us the weather and to welcome us and invite us to spend a night free gratis as guests of the THA on this mooring and my what a lovely yacht etc etc.
Paras face had gone red with the effort of preventing his not inconsiderable bulk from going through the side of the wheelhouse and on reflection, probably looked a little threatening to anyone who didn't know him (He is in fact one of natures best and a more gentle soul could seldom be found)
The man from the THA did a quick appraisal of the situation and obviously decided that he wasn't going to incur the wrath of the Para or cause offence by refusing the out-thrust tenner and so took it and promptly left.
Jimi and I had some difficulty in pacifying the Para as he had no receipt and so would not be able to stick the tenner in his tax return as a deductable item.
So, I hope that sets the scene, the Para's apoplexy soon surfaces when mention is made of mooring charges, Tobermory and Tenners and this causes him to revert to his native tongue and he becomes incapable of understanding or indeed conversing in what you and I know to be the "Queens English" I think its an affliction he has had to bear and is probably something to do with being from Auld Reekie.
Please do not hesitate to constact me if there if more I can do to explain,
Affectionately etc etc

<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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[bob_tyler]

Re: Anonymous Donor

Many thanks for the plain English version - most enjoyable.

My lack of comprehension of the Garlic version was such that I felt that I was back in the early 50's doing my National Service running a transport platoon in Maryhill Barracks! I never understood a word my 30 Glaswegian drivers said. No wonder they kept hitting tramcars when their brakes failed after I had done the monthly vehicle test!

Many thanks again,

Bob

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