I hate cats. Do you have one for sale?

Nostrodamus

Nostrodamus

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Joined
7 Mar 2011
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3,659
www.cygnus3.com
I really do hate cats. Not the ones that pretend to be boats but the ferrule, furry, fleabag type. A complete waste of DNA but lately we have been discussing where we can buy one every couple of days.

You see, when servicing the engine or doing some other frustrating task you need something to swear at and kick. We think two days would be about right to keep one as after that they would know when you are looking for something to kick and do a runner.

What makes matters worse is another boat with cats aboard lets them roam freely. Now I understand a bit of freedom but our boat is out of bounds. They have started using the boat next door as their personal toilet. They wouldn't even read the forums and consider doing the “bucket and chuck” it thing.. They just leave it on the deck for others.

I caught one of them parading along our deck yesterday. I was going to do an experiment and see which way up it landed when dropped from the spreaders into the sea but unfortunately the owner was there so I had to throw it onto the pontoon instead.

So, if anyone has any Kicking cats out there.. please let us know.

(No animals apart from cats were harmed during the construction of this post. All dissections were made for experimental purposes to aide my curiosity)
 
Nostrodamus said:
What makes matters worse is another boat with cats aboard lets them roam freely. Now I understand a bit of freedom but our boat is out of bounds. They have started using the boat next door as their personal toilet. They wouldn't even read the forums and consider doing the “bucket and chuck” it thing.. They just leave it on the deck for others.

I caught one of them parading along our deck yesterday. I was going to do an experiment and see which way up it landed when dropped from the spreaders into the sea but unfortunately the owner was there so I had to throw it onto the pontoon instead.
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Let's hope some of these gifts their cats are leaving on other people's boats end up smeared over their windows.
I really can't stand owners of cats who encourage them to **** elsewhere as long as they don't have to deal with it. The house we were living before casting off had a garden that was the local hotspot for the neighbours' cats. Couldn't they just get a sodding litter tray?!
 
mjcoon said:
"Ferrule"? You mean cats have a socket intended to fit on the end of a walking stick? What an interesting idea; should go down well on Antiques Roadshow...

Mike.
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OK I spelt it wrong, but now you have given me a idea. It will go down as experiment number 4,327 I have planned.
 
They make a useful fender. The tail you can clove hitch round a stanchion, the fur will polish your topsides, Might squeak a bit and you'll have to do something abou the claws to prevent scratches. Alterntatively they make a fine mop for your teak decks. :)
 
michael_w said:
They make a useful fender. The tail you can clove hitch round a stanchion, the fur will polish your topsides, Might squeak a bit and you'll have to do something abou the claws to prevent scratches. Alterntatively they make a fine mop for your teak decks. :)
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Like the fender idea. Wouldn't even have to buy a sock to protect the gelcoat and cheaper than fenders as well.
 
Oh dear oh dear oh dear.

Guys, perhaps the "tossers" are exercising something called a "sense of humour". It is something that engenders laughing and happiness so may be completely unfamiliar.

If you're serious and not joking - and it is hard to tell on a forum like this - can't you see that this is verbal banter and that no cat is being hurt so wailing about cruelty is totally irrelevant and inappropriate as none is taking place or being suggested in a serious manner? Talk about over-sensitive!

A flat, dried one (available at your local roadside) makes a handy drinks tray with four handles - so easy to pass out of the galley. ;)

People who love playing with cats may also enjoy this; http://www.flash-game.net/game/365/cat-a-pult.html
 
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nigelmercier said:
In another forum we once had a long discussion about what would happen if you strapped buttered toast to a cat's back.
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Now that would be most irresponsible as the toast would attract small birds and lead to an even greater slaughter than the bloody cat would have managed without it."
 
Nostrodamus said:
I really do hate cats. Not the ones that pretend to be boats but the ferrule, furry, fleabag type. A complete waste of DNA but lately we have been discussing where we can buy one every couple of days.

You see, when servicing the engine or doing some other frustrating task you need something to swear at and kick. We think two days would be about right to keep one as after that they would know when you are looking for something to kick and do a runner.

What makes matters worse is another boat with cats aboard lets them roam freely. Now I understand a bit of freedom but our boat is out of bounds. They have started using the boat next door as their personal toilet. They wouldn't even read the forums and consider doing the “bucket and chuck” it thing.. They just leave it on the deck for others.

I caught one of them parading along our deck yesterday. I was going to do an experiment and see which way up it landed when dropped from the spreaders into the sea but unfortunately the owner was there so I had to throw it onto the pontoon instead.

So, if anyone has any Kicking cats out there.. please let us know.

(No animals apart from cats were harmed during the construction of this post. All dissections were made for experimental purposes to aide my curiosity)
Click to expand...

I arranged for you to borrow this one. They're shipping him to your boat now.

Tiger-LifeofPi_2420118k.jpg


Let us know how you get on.:D
 
Turn his skin into a nice rug, his teeth and claws into necklaces and sell his nuts for Chinese medicine to pay for it. Waste not, want not!
 
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MASH said:
Oh dear oh dear oh dear.

Guys, perhaps the "tossers" are exercising something called a "sense of humour". It is something that engenders laughing and happiness so may be completely unfamiliar.

If you're serious and not joking - and it is hard to tell on a forum like this - can't you see that this is verbal banter and that no cat is being hurt so wailing about cruelty is totally irrelevant and inappropriate as none is taking place or being suggested in a serious manner? Talk about over-sensitive!
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I knew it was intended as a joke. but I still found it offensive.

Personally I don't like to hear "jokes" about animal cruelty, having had to deal with instances of animal cruelty in person, and it's frankly very distressing to think that real live humans can do that to another living being, let alone a family pet, that to some people are genuine members of their family.

If a friend of yours had just lost a baby, you'd steer away from dead baby "jokes" for a while, wouldn't you? Well it's the same good taste thing happening here. You don't know what forum members have in their personal lives, so isn't it better to steer on the right side of potentially extremely offensive jokes?

Saying it's a joke doesn't automatically make it OK.
 
chrisbitz said:
I knew it was intended as a joke. but I still found it offensive.

Personally I don't like to hear "jokes" about animal cruelty, having had to deal with instances of animal cruelty in person, and it's frankly very distressing to think that real live humans can do that to another living being, let alone a family pet, that to some people are genuine members of their family.

If a friend of yours had just lost a baby, you'd steer away from dead baby "jokes" for a while, wouldn't you? Well it's the same good taste thing happening here. You don't know what forum members have in their personal lives, so isn't it better to steer on the right side of potentially extremely offensive jokes?

Saying it's a joke doesn't automatically make it OK.
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On that basis no jokes at all are allowed ever, in case they offend someone ...

For example, any humorous mention of an extremely large boatyard bill is obviously utterly inappropriate on this forum.
 
Barnacle Bill said:
On that basis no jokes at all are allowed ever, in case they offend someone ...
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No, I did specifically clarify that by saying potentially extremely offensive jokes.

I may be way out of line, and it may be that boston marathon jokes are perfectly acceptable here too? I'm just saying, please have a tiny bit of consideration for people who may not be exactly the same as you.
 
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