How to politely say 'No Thanks'?

AndrewB

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How to politely say \'No Thanks\'?

My heart sinks when, as we approach a pontoon berth, some kind stranger suddenly pops up and offers to take our lines. If they are inexperienced, I know they won't realise how much heavier our yacht is than it looks. I worry about the implications of their being dragged into the water, or crushed as they attempt to check way by pushing on the bow. Both have nearly happened on several occasions.

We have a well-worked out routine for the two of us, which will have been finalised on our approach run according to the conditions. It takes concentration, not the best time for explanations or sudden changes of plan.

But the taking of lines is a standard ritual greeting among yachties, and just saying "No thanks, please stand clear" is easily interpreted as a snub.

Any suggestions?
 

graham

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Re: How to politely say \'No Thanks\'?

Iknow the feeling well.My personal pet hate is "helpfull"people on the pontoon grabbing your stanchions and trying to haul the boat about with them.

I once had an inexperienced person on deck handed the end of a 40 foot warp to a "helper"on a pontoon.We ended up with the two ends made fast and 30 foot of slack hanging in the water.

I think that "thanks for offering but we have a system"is about as polite as you can be.

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Magic_Sailor

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Re: How to politely say \'No Thanks\'?

I know exactly what you mean.

How about the crew says "Thanks we're OK but if you wouldn't mind standing by just in case". And then a big thank you when your actually made fast. Then you can have a friendly chat or something if the occasion warrants.

It's a good way to get to know someone sometimes. The trouble is you don't know what experience the person onshore has.

Magic

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T_C

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Re: How to politely say \'No Thanks\'?

I like the suggestion mentioned in the rafting up thread. Something akin to "Thank you very much but we're practising".

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hlb

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Re: How to politely say \'No Thanks\'?

I once had a helpfull guy who untied me while I was sat having a cup of tea. I had not started the engines or anything!!

<hr width=100% size=1> <font color=blue>No one can force me to come here.<font color=red> I'm a volunteer!!.<font color=blue>

Haydn
 

nicho

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Re: How to politely say \'No Thanks\'?

In Cherbourg last Saturday evening, with the wind blowing a "hooley" across the pontoons, BrendanS and myself approached, and politely enquired if we could assist a couple who looked in some difficulty intrying to berth stern to (the lady was already on the pontoon and looked in danger of being pulled in the water by the 40' sailing boat that was being savaged by strong wind). It was nothing more than that, a polite offer, which was answered by a sharp "No, bugger off" (OK the last two words were not actually spoken, but the tone of her voice definitely inferred it.

We therefore stood back, and it was hard not to feel some satisfaction as the metal end of the (very short) Cherbourg pontoon finger made a large a wavey black mark all down the side of the boat as it did it's best to turn stern into wind. It was also satisfying to see the skipper hard at work with the T-cut the next day!!.

Under the circumstances, what do you do? It did not seem reasonable somehow, to stand by and watch the crew struggle in that way, but she made herself very clear, no assistance was required - the skipper just glared and said nothing. It was their call obviously, but if we had ignored her sharp word, in what could have been a dangerous situation (for her) and helped her pull the boat in regardless, I presume we'd have been in the wrong??



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jimi

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Re: How to politely say \'No Thanks\'?

Well .. i must say this sounds a bit suspicious to me .. two inebriated anglais strolling along the pontoon laughing at someone's misfortune, the young lady obviously thinking it safer to reject such advances then having the two buffons as a audience no dobt offering advice sotte vocce, the struggling skipper having the added pressure of a heckling audience then you have the gall to go and watch him repairing the damage caused by your presence .. well I never! Thankfully it sounds as if they kept their cool and refrained from hitting you!

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AndrewJ

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Re: How to politely say \'No Thanks\'?

I had an "interesting" experience. I was coming in with wind coming across the slip. A helpful neighbor caught the line my
mate tossed and proceeded to make it fast. Imagine the feeling as I watched the line unwrap from the cleat as he left and went
to make fast the stern line. Luckily the only damage was taking out a light on the dock as the bow swung downwind. (luckily
the marina did not give me a bill for the damage.) Good advise though, especially "I think we have it, but appreciate your
standing by"

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nicho

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Re: How to politely say \'No Thanks\'?

Damnation to you perceptive Scots - why do you always have to spoil a good story with the truth!! (She was quite fanciful, I have to say, but I thought under the circumstances, asking her if a 'sh.g' was out of the question, might have been a little inopportune.....)

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tcm

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Re: How to politely say \'No Thanks\'?

yup, you did the right thing. It is the divine right all all boaties to whack their boats anywhere they please. I trust you stood aside as they squealed the pontoon, murmuring "very impressive" and "there- that's the way to do it!" and "they make it look so easy don't they?" to each other?

The only time i don't ask if a boat needs help is if it's mooring up next to you. Ignore the glares as you hang out extra fenders.

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BlueSkyNick

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Re: How to politely say \'No Thanks\'?

Fully agree, however when it comes to the lesser of two evils, a snub is much better than physical damage - to people or boat.

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vyv_cox

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How does the skipper stand re litigation?

This story was in last month's YM. A crew member was asked to relocate a fender prior to berthing. In so doing, the crew member slipped and fell. Some months later the skipper received a claim for a large sum of money (50,000 pounds, I think) on the basis that he was at fault because the fender was in the wrong place initially.

It would appear that there is real risk of future litigation if a 'volunteer' hurt themselves.

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Joe_Cole

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Re: How to politely say \'No Thanks\'?

It was probably that water taxi skipper at Dartmouth. I think they've got it in for you!

Joe

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G

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It happens letting go as well

Having sailed single-handed for years before finding the 'perfek partner' !!! I still like doubling back lines just before leaving so to be able to slip without help from others.

BUT many a time a helping hand appears and throws the bight of the cleat ..... with a "ther y'er are mate ..... have a nice sail back ..." or words similar. Then there's me with boat swinging not quite as intended !!!!

Worst one was at Ryde on IoWight ....... I was right at the top of the pontoons and tight in. I needed the spring to get the arse out so that I could get out ........ So there's me engine started, bow and stern lines off. I have the spring doubled back to me in cockpit. I'm just aboyut to give it a bit of throttle forward to get the bow in, stern out ..... when along comes Mrs. Helpful ...... I've got it for you she says and promptly throws it off ...... I now have only one thing I can do ...... jump onto pontoon to try and put the bloody thing back !!!! BUt of course what do I do ..... step straight onto a bloody dock cleat and twisted my ankle. In agonising pain - I get back on, start again. She meanwhile has snorted something and strode of like some Empire Building Colonial that has just had her G&T spilt !!!! I resisted the attempt to say something 'pleasing' after her ..... instead nursed the swelling ankle ...... boy did that hurt !!!!

Recently my engine wouldn't start - so decided to sail of the Folly Pontoons ......... I was alongside the pontoon with boats rafted ahead and astern of me. About a 40ft gap with my 25ft in it. So with various manouevres withn sails etc. I planned to have the wind push me off and control it with the bowline. Again even though I had a bowman - I had doubled it for him to pull through. This time it must have been her hubby !!! took the line of the cleat and stood holding it !!!! My mate is trying to pull it in !!! He's still holding it saying .... I'll look after it for you ....... do you want to start your engine ????? He was smartly told to ******** drop the bloody line before I hit something !!!! Sorry folks - I really am a nice guy, but that day I was not at my best !!!!!

Yep we got away still with grace and a sly smirk on m'lips having had a certain large Sailing School watch and expect us to 'crunch' !!!! Sorry lads - you crunch - I manouevre !!!!


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Jools_of_Top_Cat

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Re: How to politely say \'No Thanks\'?

In Aberystwith this year I was on the potoon to watch a Bav with four up struggling to get into not a very tight berth. I stood ready to take bow line and on the guys 3rd attempt he was close enough that his wife could actually throw me the line. She was shouting like a mad woman at him, foward, foward, NO NO back etc. Oh go around again. Not a nice woman.

So I have this line, but it is short and he is again losing control and drifting from the pontoon, I have enough for a bite, but not much left, so I am trying to hold him in with a single turn around the cleat. She has now turned her frustration on me, throw me the end back, throw it. I tried to explain there was not enough line left to get it back to her, JUST THROW ME THE ROPE BACK WILL YOU, so I did and walked off, as he had to go around once again.

It happens both ways you know.


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AndrewB

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Many thanks for all the suggestions, guys.

Next time we stagger like drowned rats into a marina after a stormy crossing with F6 on the nose all way, I'll remember to say "No thanks, we're just practising"!

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wpsalm

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Re: How to politely say \'No Thanks\'?

In most cases the spring line is first out and it does,nt take much experience to drop the eye over a bollard or make it fast to a cleat...if your close enough to the dock to be able to communicate in a normal tone of voice and explain what where and when refusing assistance from someone on the dock is upity and snobish ....

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hlb

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Re: How to politely say \'No Thanks\'?

But nobodys trying to be upity or snobbish. Thats what the post is all about. It's when some kind git, comes along and cocks up your whole system. Thats the problem.

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Haydn
 
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