How do you protect your banana?

jimi

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My banana always gets bruised and squashed and ends up in a sort of liquified pulp when I go sailing. Any ideas?
 
You might try to put it in a space where it is supported with an equal pressure all over the surface of the banana. This will avoid the stress on small surfaces of the banana that causes the bruises you complain about. If done in a smart place you will also avoid having to search for your banana!
 
I can just see jimi walking around a shop , picking up every banana to see if it the right shape to fit in the banana guard,

mutters of
this ones to short,
that ones to strait
that ones to fat,
just imagine if some one was listening from the other side of the counter, what would they be thinking.
 
You take bananas sailing? Wow, brave. On the way to the boat, do you walk under as many ladders as possible, kicking black cats while muttering about rabbits (in French), before setting sail on a Friday in your green boat (and breaking the occasional mirror for best effect)?

Anyway, what's wrong with a small hammock?
 
I suggest you look in your inbox. Most mornings I find various people writing to me with solutions to the kind of problem you describe.
 
Day-o, day-o
Daylight come and me wan' go home
Day, me say day, me say day, me say day
Me say day, me say day-o
Daylight come and me wan' go home

Work all night on a drink of rum
Daylight come and me wan' go home
Stack banana till de mornin' come
Daylight come and me wan' go home

Come, Mister tally man, tally me banana
Daylight come and me wan' go home
Come, Mister tally man, tally me banana
Daylight come and me wan' go home

Lift six foot, seven foot, eight foot bunch
Daylight come and me wan' go home
Six foot, seven foot, eight foot bunch
Daylight come and me wan' go home

Day, me say day-o
Daylight come and me wan' go home
Day, me say day, me say day, me say day...
Daylight come and me wan' go home

A beautiful bunch o' ripe banana
Daylight come and me wan' go home
Hide the deadly black tarantula
Daylight come and me wan' go home

Lift six foot, seven foot, eight foot bunch
Daylight come and me wan' go home
Six foot, seven foot, eight foot bunch
Daylight come and me wan' go home

Day, me say day-o
Daylight come and me wan' go home
Day, me say day, me say day, me say day...
Daylight come and me wan' go home

Come, Mister tally man, tally me banana
Daylight come and me wan' go home
Come, Mister tally man, tally me banana
Daylight come and me wan' go home

Day-o, day-o
Daylight come and me wan' go home
Day, me say day, me say day, me say day
Me say day, me say day-o
Daylight come and me wan' go home
 
Skinnymalinky tattiebogle big banana feet

Went to the pictures couldnae get a seat

When he got a seat

He fell fast asleep

Skinnymalinky tattiebogle big banana feet
 
You may note that in the interest of good taste I have kept out of this one. I just can't bear to contemplate anything resembling Jimi's banana this early in the morning........
 
What's wrong with hanging the hand of bananas from a hand hold in the saloon?...obviously don't use the handholds on the side you walk down..bit of string to hold the hand in the centre and just rip the bananas off each end...when you get to the last one you can practice yer rolling hitches /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif
 
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