How do I survive?

[suzanne]

Gary and I are finally getting to go on a boys weekend. Taking Princess 41 from Teddington to Brighton without stopping this weekend. I was originally the third sub, but by some miracle, one dropped out and they all saw they wouldn't be able to manage the trip with out me. But I'm scared. Not of the trip, of the men.....they include Mrb, Chrispy (Dad), the incredible eating man and er Roy.

How many different ways will I be able to say NO to making the tea?

How many cases of beer will they get through before they pass out?

How can I stop them burping and blowing it in my face?

How am I going to manage to get a seat on the flybridge?

At wahat point will they stop taking the p*** out of Gary?

How can I get out of cooking, washing up and drying up?

If by chance we see fit blokes in yellow shirts, how can I stop them shouting "This girl HERE wants your babies!"

And most importantly, how am I going to cope with their constant farting?

Most of you are men, you must beable to tell me a few secrets on how to conquer this lot!

Suzanne xXx

 

[syd]

Hey, the secret is not to conquer them but to out do them, in all mentioned in your list.
First to impress is when you polish off a case of Guiness and a jar of extra crunchy onions.
You ladies seem to be very good at quiet stinkies,(love puffs), this recipe will give you the extra GROWL to go with them. Result = Instant respect, sit anywhere you bloody want to.
Easy as that.
Syd

 

[hlb]

Yes, cant argue with that. Also wear your shortest skirt and low cut blouse. Then no one will ask you to wash up. Unless father or brothers, who seen to have a mental block on these situations. So err. Just wash up!!!

No one can force me to come here-----------
----- I'm a Volunteer!!!

Haydn

 

[Guest]

Trade secrets that only real men can understand is the answer, I would stay at home if I were you, or drive to Brighton to catch the ropes when they arrive then join the party.

Or you could make a deal and do all the steering and navigation work because as you said they may be too pissed to do it properly anyway, by the sound of it a little safety breifing may be in order at the start, also set your ground rules, like you have the front cabin with the big bed and ensuite loo, make all the men sleep on deck, take a big night club bouncer to look after you, a swear box , all contibutions to your university years may help, bound to come back with a years worth of beer money at least, how about a web cam linked up to their spouces back at home , they may just keep it a bit calm, cant think of any more so good luck!.

Paul js.

 

[ccscott49]

You will never stop them farting! But just boat hook them if they get too cheeky, it's easy! Just don't wash up or do anything you don't want too, take lessons from Pauline and stuff them! By the way, they don't get any better as they get older!

 

[mtb]

Re: Simple realy

Paper plates ( saves washing up )

Give em tons of fig rolls ( bound to quiet em down )

re cooking cleaning serving beer

hide the loo roll ( any one will be indebted to you for life ) try it and see lol, when the hand comes out begging for loo roll that's the time to bargain . Well things tend to dry quite quick !!!!!!!!!!!!

If any one gets snotty then place a properly ( seemingly used condom ) in his pocket for swmbo to find ( condensed milk is best )

Don't lower your self to farting, just remember who you saved with the loo roll they will be on your side so when some one acts in this manner pour scorn on the disgusting habit others will follow suit.

Revenge is always sweeter ,especially if they know some form of retribution will be levied.

But the final thing has to be , go get pissed puke every where and that way you will fit in with every one else .
Mick

http://homepage.ntlworld.com/boats
I want a big steel ex trawler / tug v / cheap or swap for tug

 

[boatone]

I could suggest that you give them the elbow and come with me instead..............
1-I dont drink tea
2-I dont drink beer and cant rememeber the last time I passed out for any reason
3-I dont burp and wouldnt dream of blowing it in your face even if I did
4-I dont have a flybridge
5-Who's Gary..........
6-We'll eat out..................
7-Never seen a guy in a yellow tee-shirt (but I'll buy one if you like....) and anyway, I dont shout
8-I dont fart very often but always downwind..

The only downside is that you will be incredibly bored ..... so on balance I suggest that you will be better off taking your chances on a 41 footer (mine isnt that big)

TonyR
boatone@boatsontheweb.com
www.boatsonthethames.co.uk

 

[paulineb]

Hide the Nurofen and only hand them out if they've been nice to you.

Pxx

 

[ccscott49]

See! I told you to listen to Pauline!!

 

[jfm]

Re: Eh??

Dont understand.... you should be grateful for all those manly features.

 

[aztec]

Re: Simple realy

MTB...evil...evil man! (still chucklin' tho)

 

[suzanne]

Re: Rght then

Ok, written down everything and am preparing myself. Pauline has v good point, have stolen all Zantac and Nurofen, (hope Dad doesn't see this before we go).

For those that don't know, Gary is my long term love, the one that bought me back from a dark hole, the direction in my life, the one who tells me exactly where I am............he is of course...........my very faithful and very reliable...........GPS!

Suzanne xXx

 

[ccscott49]

Re: Rght then

You poor thing, the only thing you have to cuddle up with is a GPS! Good grief girl! You need a boys weekend away!

 

[paulineb]

Re: Rght then

Please don't encourage her, she'll only lead my Sam astray ;-)

Pxx

 

[ccscott49]

Re: Rght then

As if your Sam needed leadin' He is after all YOUR son!