Here's a handy tip

Make sure that when you've removed and replaced all the engine morse cables and the throttle controls that forward is still forward and back is back.

Same applies when having replaced boat engine for different make.
 
When returning to one's car having left your boat on the swinging mooring, check that you now have your mobile telephone with you.

It is excellent exercise to rush back out to the boat on a falling tide to collect same mobile; especially as the Essex mud is good for muscle and skin treatments when your boots suck off as you push the dingy back to the shore.
 
When someone offers you a rope to tow you and your wonky engined flubber back to dry land make sure they don't take off so fast in the wrong direction, they pull you under the water, flubber and all, ending up with yourselves, just purchased beverages and half floating dinghy all flailing around in the water in the middle of the estuary navigation channel at night.
Just refuse the offer of help and row the thirty feet ashore. It saves all the emergency services a lot of bother!!!
 
Came across this very useful gadget for use when antifouling. It holds all the items necessary to apply the coating and can be pulled around under the boat a great idea I think. http://www.ipaintpro.co.uk/

Adrian, that does look to be a fairly wizzy widget.

But I hope you don't take it amiss if I point out that in relation to this thread you may have missed the point:)
 
Nostrodamus said:
Make sure the boat is only just moving before throwing a bucket over the side to collect water!
The result of any speed will mean, no bucket, chafed hands or running quickly along the side decks, that is of course if you are not doing man overboard.

Throw the bucket forward and get it out of the water just before it passes you. ;)
 
Bleeding Volvos

If you have a Volvo 2020 and you have had to bleed it replace the proprietry washer Volvo fit with a sensible traditional one. The synthetic coating on the one provided by Volvo disintegrates after it has been tightened and released a couple of times and allows the screw to unscrew itself.

You would be amazed at how quickly you can empty a diesel tank through that little hole - took us from Cowes to Fawley Terminal to do it!
 
This is true but it did not happen to me, I'm very glad to say!
Boat has spirit cooker as the owner does not like gas on board. Meths kept in clear plastic gallon container. Having passed through Swellies in dark a cup of tea seems a good idea. Fills kettle with meths instead of water and puts onto already lit stove. Creates flame thrower inside cabin. Picks up kettle and throws over stern, hits backstay and falls into cockpit. Blue flames everywhere. NOT a good idea!
 
This is true but it did not happen to me, I'm very glad to say!
Boat has spirit cooker as the owner does not like gas on board. Meths kept in clear plastic gallon container. Having passed through Swellies in dark a cup of tea seems a good idea. Fills kettle with meths instead of water and puts onto already lit stove. Creates flame thrower inside cabin. Picks up kettle and throws over stern, hits backstay and falls into cockpit. Blue flames everywhere. NOT a good idea!
:D:D
 
The new forestay is to be 42 feet 11 and three quarter inches long. Checked. Double checked. Good

Now remember before cutting the expensive stainless wire, that the mark on the tape measure at 11 and three quarter inches, just by the big red mark "42ft", is actually just less than 42 feet.


This would not have happened with standard metric :-)
 
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...Or go up a mast, self-hauling, with the bosuns chair secured to only one wire halliard. When it snapped I was luckily younger (dumber) and fitter, so I managed to make like a koala as the mast whipped by. Down-climbing was fun too...


I now always have a back-up - a fixed halliard with a mountaineer's jumar attached to the chair by a short strop, barely inconvenient yet a life saver.

Or don't, like yesterday, tie the dinghy painter to the mooring buoy with out making sure it's through the loop- Oh what a merry time we had with the boathook on our return!
 
a Laundry hint.

When anchored in Benodet, and you have just washed your best white troosers, and need to rinse the soap out of them, do not tie to a line and throw them overboard for a few minutes. The ebb contains lots and lots of broken pieces of algues mortes which collect in your breeks. Seaweed stains.

Signed, an anonymous crew member, aged 17.
 
After placing your Chicken Tikka Massala into an empty 2 litre vanilla ice cream carton and freezing down at home for a meal on board. Make sure you write on the carton what it is or you may end up with 2 litres of sloppy vanilla ice cream for your evening meal at the end of a long day.:mad:
 
When asking a crew member to clean the inside of a winch with industrial cleaner, instruct him to not do this over the water:
1) it is not very environmental
2) from within the engine compartment, you will be able to hear the splash when the top assembly (gears, pawls, housing,..) of the winch falls into the brink, followed by "uh-oh" from fore mentioned crew member, and immediately be able to identify which part got lost.
 
When you are below and your crew asks: "There's a yellow buoy ahead, which side do you want me to pass?" Do not say "It doesn't matter!"
When she tries to go down the middle it presents an interesting problem!
  • Main sheet tied around the top mark.
  • Boat stopped
  • Ferry load of passengers given a an unexpected entertainment
  • Local yacht club (exiting harbour for evening race) are presented with an unusual end to their start line
Also redesigned top mark to remind you of your mistake for several years.
In addition - the ability to point to "Your buoy" for many years (if she has a sense of humour).
 
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