Here's a handy tip

Touchwood said:
When attempting to free the yacht from an inconvenient mud bank with a short handled mop as the only implement on board to push off with, lower the sails first. Otherwise when you succeed in pushing off and (inevitably) fall in at the same time, the yacht will sail merrily off with an inexperienced and panicking crew member at the helm, towing you behind it trying to shout instructions through mouthfuls of Norfolk Broads mud. Anyone witnessing this will inexplicably be reduced to tears of laughter.
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The Art of Coarse Sailing????
 
AntarcticPilot said:
The Art of Coarse Sailing????
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Errm - not sure what, if anything, you're implying there? I can assure you this was a real event - it's a long time since I read Mr. Greene's gloriously funny book, so I don't recall if a similar episode is described therein, but if so it's coincidence, not plagiarism. :)
 
Check with the skipper that they have enough diesel in the tank as on the way back from an offshore race to Deauville whilst the sender guage read full the tank became empty with the result of the donk stopping mid channel with no wind - skipper knew it read incorrectly and forgot:rolleyes:
 
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Touchwood said:
Errm - not sure what, if anything, you're implying there? I can assure you this was a real event - it's a long time since I read Mr. Greene's gloriously funny book, so I don't recall if a similar episode is described therein, but if so it's coincidence, not plagiarism. :)
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Just thinking that it is just the sort of thing that Grahame Greene would have included if he'd thought of it!
 
The new forestay is to be 42 feet 11 and three quarter inches long. Checked. Double checked. Good

Now remember before cutting the expensive stainless wire, that the mark on the tape measure at 11 and three quarter inches, just by the big red mark "42ft", is actually just less than 42 feet.
 
Don't turn the wheel when the cable is about to fall off the Quadrant 1000 miles from any landfall:eek:

When a Killer Whale is "stalking" your boat mid Atlantic (bolt on keel and spade rudder) don't go down below for the camera but the grab bag! (that's a different tale for another time/thread!)
 
If you pressurise the fuel tank to get rid of that blockage, and the missus says stop, its flowing through now, don't instantly pull the pump off the fuel tank filler, and wonder why your covered in diesel !!!!!
 
When you are used to a wheel and for a change you take out a boat with a tiller make sure that when going astern you can reach the morse lever, especially when pinned to the cockpit seat.
It is surprising how far and how fast a boat will go backwards in never ending circles but not as long as your crewmates will laugh at you without helping.
 
Nostrodamus said:
When you are used to a wheel and for a change you take out a boat with a tiller make sure that when going astern you can reach the morse lever, especially when pinned to the cockpit seat.
It is surprising how far and how fast a boat will go backwards in never ending circles but not as long as your crewmates will laugh at you without helping.
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"When steering astern in a long keeler"......................... "don't be daft!"
 
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Touchwood said:
Errm - not sure what, if anything, you're implying there? I can assure you this was a real event - it's a long time since I read Mr. Greene's gloriously funny book, so I don't recall if a similar episode is described therein, but if so it's coincidence, not plagiarism. :)
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+1
No sails set, but having failed to leave the bank a volunteer jumped in to "HELP" and pushed her away while noone was aboard.
 
Undr no circustances end up with one foot on the quay and one on the boat as it sets off. Even if you could do the splits as a kid, you can't do them when you are in your 50's.
 
CalicoJack said:
Undr no circustances end up with one foot on the quay and one on the boat as it sets off. Even if you could do the splits as a kid, you can't do them when you are in your 50's.
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The same applies to having the feet on the dinghy and the hands on the boat as the dinghy moves away from the boat...

Also (serious point) make sure you can fold the boarding ladder down from in the water. :eek: The above Tom & Jerry moment could have ended very badly if I'd been on my own
 
When rowing out to yacht on a swinging mooring, kindly ensure that the keys to the boat are in your pocket and not loafing in the car.
 
E39mad said:
When a Killer Whale is "stalking" your boat mid Atlantic (bolt on keel and spade rudder) don't go down below for the camera but the grab bag! (that's a different tale for another time/thread!)
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Nope, sorry. You can't just leave it at that. You're rather confirming what I suspect - orcas have never been known to harm humans because they leave no evidence...
 
1. Don't wait until after the mooring ropes are off before removing the wheel cover.
2. If your neutral button sticks, make sure it is out before all mooring lines are dropped.
3. When leaving Cardiff lock with a first time sailor, ensure the engine is started before the lines are released.
I think I may be getting too old for this sailing lark.
Allan
4. When starting the engine after sailing, take it out of reverse! Just once would make me feel better!!!!
 
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