Guest Etiquette when Cruising

Baggywrinkle said:
My pet hates as a boat owner ....

Sun cream smeared over everything.
Junk left on my chart table.
Stuff left lying around the communal areas of the boat.
Salt water below decks (swimwear/towels) - there will certainly be a fresh water shower on the stern to rinse off.
Shoes that leave marks.
People who put stuff they haven't eaten down the toilet - only exceptions allowed are small amounts of toilet paper.
People who use 50 litres of hot water for their morning shower.
Leaving lights on.
Leaving cupboards un-latched.
People who vomit upwind when they are sea-sick.

May not be the case on a 60 footer but generally electrical power and fresh water are precious commodities and should be treated as such.

Simply behave as you would if invited to share a friends holiday home for a week, arrive with appropriate gifts, show gratitude by picking up the tab for a meal out and treat everything and everyone on board with respect.

If you don't understand how something works, ask before you fiddle with it.

If you don't know if they want you to chip in for marina fees/fuel then it does no harm to discreetly make the offer and then everyone knows where they stand.

PS: If anyone brings a huge hard roller suit-case with them they either have to leave it ashore (in my car) or sleep with it in their cabin ... unless I have a cabin free, in which case, it goes in the spare cabin.
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Baggywrinkle said:
My pet hates as a boat owner ....

Sun cream smeared over everything.
Junk left on my chart table.
Stuff left lying around the communal areas of the boat.
Salt water below decks (swimwear/towels) - there will certainly be a fresh water shower on the stern to rinse off.
Shoes that leave marks.
People who put stuff they haven't eaten down the toilet - only exceptions allowed are small amounts of toilet paper.
People who use 50 litres of hot water for their morning shower.
Leaving lights on.
Leaving cupboards un-latched.
People who vomit upwind when they are sea-sick.

May not be the case on a 60 footer but generally electrical power and fresh water are precious commodities and should be treated as such.

Simply behave as you would if invited to share a friends holiday home for a week, arrive with appropriate gifts, show gratitude by picking up the tab for a meal out and treat everything and everyone on board with respect.

If you don't understand how something works, ask before you fiddle with it.

If you don't know if they want you to chip in for marina fees/fuel then it does no harm to discreetly make the offer and then everyone knows where they stand.

PS: If anyone brings a huge hard roller suit-case with them they either have to leave it ashore (in my car) or sleep with it in their cabin ... unless I have a cabin free, in which case, it goes in the spare cabin.
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Thank you all again, yes it is kit bags not suitcases we have; spray sun cream was mentioned but boat shoes are not a requirement, all wear flip flops apparently. So many useful tips so thanks again, I will follow up post cruise.
 
The only bust-up I have heard of was when a couple took delivery of an HR46 on the same day as our much smaller one. Another couple were on board to assist on the return journey. We later heard from the agents that there had been a major falling-out when the guests were found to have smoked in their cabin.

Smell is very evocative, so I would advise guests to aim for 'clean-washed' smell rather than 'ready for service in a brothel'.
 
maby said:
I don't think it ever hurts to offer to contribute towards fuel and marina costs, even if you don't expect that the offer will be accepted.
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+1. I think it's polite to show you're not making assumptions by offering. If your hosts are generous and declines the offer, you're at least letting them know you appreciate their generosity and don't take it for granted.

Whatever the diesel arrangements I would expect food to come out of a shared kitty and personally if my hosts were paying the ancillary costs I'd at least buy an out-of-kitty thank you dinner.

You could easily sound them out beforehand by asking "How much cash do you think I should bring for diesel, marinas and food?". They will have a feel for that, you can't be expected to know and that's their opportunity to say something like "Oh about X euros for food but don't worry about the marinas and diesel" . Or not...

I always ask about preferred spirit. Personally I don't regard whisky as a warm-weather drink and unbelievably there are a few people in the world that don't like gin...
 
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I wonder if there is a generational difference?

A modern bloke who invites a girl on a date apparently would think it perfectly normal that they go halves. But some will actually demand it!
As far as I'm concerned if a girl agrees to go on a date with me she would deserve dinner for free. (But she shouldn't take the p1$$)

I'm a non-drinker. While a present of alcohol will never be refused (its the thought that counts) I would prefer cake!

Some people have likened it to going to someone's house to stay. Not something I've been hugely comfortable with in my life! However, if I was invited to join someone at a holiday home they were renting I would expect to pay part of the rent. If I was inviting, (indeed I have) I wouldn't expect to be paid. But I wouldn't be offended by an offer.
 
I think the worst start to having guests onboard was with my cousin and her 9 year old son.
They arrived at the marina, which has perfectly adequate bathroom facilities only 50 yards back on the dockside (you can probably guess where this is going).

Anyway, I am chatting to my cousin for 5 minutes, and her son disappears below.
After five minutes, he is calling for Mum.
“It’s too big, it won’t flush away” ...

Other pet hates are anything oily on the teak, especially suncream.
Shoes worn down below.
Shoes with marking black soles, or dirty shoes.
Doors left swinging.
My daughter using all the remaining fresh water to straighten her hair.
Stuff left switched on that shouldn’t be on.
Sticky hands on walls.

Likes include people asking sensible questions about how stuff works.
I’m quite happy to spend time explaining things as needed.
Also, guests that you don’t feel are always waiting to be entertained in some way, maybe they have their own plans for the next port.

If I owned a 60ft yacht, I wouldn’t be interested in contributions towards the running costs.
But offering to pay for alternate dinners and a decent bottle of Gin would go down well.

.
 
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I have invited friends on my modest 34 foot boat and neither expected them to bring or pay anything and as normal we shared restaurant bills. But everything connected to the boat and its running I paid.

On the other end of the scale I have had the fortune to be invited on a couple of large and crewed motor yachts, the mooring and fuel costs would have dented my salary so I was rather pleased when I raised the subject on the first occasion to be told not to be so silly. I echo the comments re the crew and in particular the stewardesses who usually work very hard and long hours.
 
You will get into the owner's goodbooks if you ask if there are any spares that you can bring out with you. There is always something needed from home! It may only be PG tips

Tell the owner/skipper of any medical conditions that you have, especially allergies. If you are not a good swimmer, let the owner/skipper know
Do they have crew? If not, take a bit of time to learn how to tie a line onto a cleat.

If you are interested, show that interest. Every boat owner loves to explain things. Ask how to helm and owner and crew will love you.

If you think that you might be pulling on lines ask the owner if there are gloves that will fit you. If not, buy a pair so that you can help when asked

TudorSailor
 
tudorsailor said:
You will get into the owner's goodbooks if you ask if there are any spares that you can bring out with you. There is always something needed from home! It may only be PG tips

Tell the owner/skipper of any medical conditions that you have, especially allergies. If you are not a good swimmer, let the owner/skipper know
Do they have crew? If not, take a bit of time to learn how to tie a line onto a cleat.

If you are interested, show that interest. Every boat owner loves to explain things. Ask how to helm and owner and crew will love you.

If you think that you might be pulling on lines ask the owner if there are gloves that will fit you. If not, buy a pair so that you can help when asked

TudorSailor
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Gloves :applause:
 
Another thought. Don't criticise anything about the boat, whether the structure, looks, decor or fittings. We had five couples in succession for a week each on our then new boat. All were old friends or family and lovely. The only niggle was one lady who arrived with her husband and an enormous, though soft, bag. Nothing on the boat was really right for her, and although we stayed friends, the end of the week couldn't come too soon.
 
A slightly different situation, but when I brought Capricious from the Clyde to the East Coast, friends crewed for me. I didn't expect them to pay for anything; the trip was being done for my benefit, and they were providing valuable assistance. I was delighted when I went to pay the bill at a shore-side restaurant and found that the crew had already paid the bill!
If I invite people aboard, I don't expect them to pay anything, but am very pleased if they offe to bring food or drink!
 
Take a nail clipper and make sure your fingernails are properly trimmed, and that the trimmings go into the bin. Untrimmed fingernails catch on things resulting in your blood staining your mate's nice white sails.
 
Alaphillipe said:
Hello,

We have been invited to spend a week with a couple on their 60 something sailing yacht in the med this summer. I understand that we will have our own bathroom and cabin and that the yacht has all mod cons but as we don’t have a yacht, and never will, what is the etiquette by way doing things and paying for things like fuel and parking etc? Would an opening gift of Gin or Rum be more appropriate than wine perhaps? I really want the week to go well so any suggestions or information would be appreciated.
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Hello there.....please do not worry too much over this. You have been invited as a guest so really there is an assumption they won't present you with a bill :) If it were me, an opening gift of a nice bottle of something and a small hamper with some nice treats would be my way of opening up a conversation about food purchase and then that can lead wherever you wish it to.

You clearly are keen for this to be a success. Just be respectful of the 'working' areas of the boat and offer to help (then you won't feel so awkward). This is an opportunity for you to experience a seriously fantastic sailing yacht, so do enjoy and do not fret too much about the etiquette.

P.s No killer heels on deck please :rolleyes: that's one I've been told off for previously!

Have a great time.
 
AntarcticPilot said:
A slightly different situation, but when I brought Capricious from the Clyde to the East Coast, friends crewed for me. I didn't expect them to pay for anything; the trip was being done for my benefit, and they were providing valuable assistance. I was delighted when I went to pay the bill at a shore-side restaurant and found that the crew had already paid the bill!
If I invite people aboard, I don't expect them to pay anything, but am very pleased if they offe to bring food or drink!
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:encouragement:
 
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