Friday the 13th

[claymore]

And the family are taking me off on a Lake Windermere cruise this evening as a reward for being such an all round good guy and pleasure and honour to be married/related to.
Should I be worried?

<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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[jhr]

Should I be worried?

Only if the boat has a green hull and is helmed by a 6 foot rabbit with a dog collar.

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[claymore]

Re: Should I be worried?

OK I'll look out for that - will the rabbit be male?

<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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[tcm]

I think you should be very worried indeed. Next thing they will be buying you a nice rug to keep your legs warm. And haven't you suffered enough with having to wear that tie?

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[jimi]

Och , he might be lucky, they might buy him one to put on his heid, it needs a wee bit mair cover there!! "Woopee, Toopee for me!" Exclaims Claymore.

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[jhr]

Male Rabbit

I don't know, but look out for tell-tale male rabbit signs (particularly incessant bonking, which may lead to a certain instability on board). You might like to ask the skipper "are you a male rabbit"? and see what he says.

Incidentally, please let me know if you do see this rabbit: I haven't laid eyes on one for some years and I was smoking a rather peculiar cigarette at the time.............

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[Peppermint]

Shouldn't worry about the lake trip but those concrete wellies are a concern.

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[Martin_Billings]

Yes wasn't it 20 odd years before that body was found in Coniston. (Not Donald Campbell, the other one)

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[jimi]

And a similar period for the one found in Wastwater, wonder how many more are down there ...

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[jimi]

Well thats Windermere buggered again!

Lock the door, Lariston, lion of Liddlesdale,
Lock the door, Lariston, Lowther comes on,
The Armstrongs are flying,
Their widows are crying,
The Castletown's burning, and Oliver's gone;

Lock the door, Lariston - high on the weather gleam
See how the Saxon plumes bob on the sky,
Yeoman and carbinier,
Billman and halberdier;
Fierce is the foray, and far is the cry.

Bewcastle brandishes high his broad scimitar,
Ridley is riding his fleet-footed grey,
Hedley and Howard there,
Wandale and Windermere -
Lock the door, Lariston, hold them at bay.

Why doest thou smile, noble Elliot of Lariston?
Why do the joy-candles gleam in thine eye?
Thou bold Border ranger,
Beware of thy danger -
Thy foes are relentless, determined, and nigh.

Jock Elliot raised up his steel bonnet and lookit,
His hand grasped the sword with a nervous embrace;
'Ah, welcome, brave foeman,
On earth there are no men
More gallant to meet in the foray or chase!

'Little know you of the hearts I have hidden here,
Little know you of the moss-troopers' might
Lindhope and Sorby, true,
Sundhope and Milburn too,
Gentle in manner, but lions in fight!

'I've Mangerton, Gornberry, Raeburn, and Netherby.
Old Sim of Whitram, and all his array:
Come all Northumberland,
Teesdale and Cumberland,
Here at the Breaken Tower end shall the fray.'

Scowl'd the broad sun o'er the links of green Liddlesdale,
Red as beacon-light tipp'd he the wold;
Many a bold martial eye
Mirror'd that morning sky,
Never more oped on his orbit of gold!

Shrill was the bugle's note, dreadful the warrior shout,
Lances and halberds in splinters were borne;
Halberd and hauberk then,
<font color=red>Braved the claymore in vain</font color=red>,
Buckler and armlet in shivers were shorn.

<font color=red>See how they wane, the proud files of the Windermere</font color=red>,
Howard - Ah! woe to thy hopes of the day!
Hear the wild welkin rend,
While the Scots' shouts ascend,
'Elliot of Lariston, Elliot for aye!'

<hr width=100% size=1><P ID="edit"><FONT SIZE=-1>Edited by jimi on 13/06/2003 10:52 (server time).</FONT></P>

 

[claymore]

Re: Well thats Windermere buggered again!

Pale was the wounded knight,that bore Claymore and Shield
Loud and cruel were the raven's cries that feasted on the field
Saying "Beck water cold and clear will never clean your wound
There's none but the witch of the Westmoreland can make thee hale and soond"


So turn, turn your stallion's head 'til his red mane flies in the wind
And the rider of the moon goes by and the bright star falls behind
And clear was the paley moon when his shadow passed him by
below the hills were the brightest stars when he heard the owlet cry


Saying "Why do you ride this way, and wherefore came you here?"
"I seek the Witch of the Westmorland that dwells by the winding mere"
And it's weary by the Ullswater and the misty brake fern way
Til throught the cleft in the Kirkstane Pass the winding water lay


He said "Lie down, by brindled hound and rest ye, my good grey hawk
And thee, my steed may graze thy fill for I must dismount and walk,
But come when you hear my horn and answer swift the call
For I fear ere the sun will rise this morn ye will serve me best of all"


And it's down to the water's brim he's born the rowan shield
And the goldenrod he has cast in to see what the lake might yield
And wet she rose from the lake, and fast and fleet went she
One half the form of a maiden fair with a jet black mare's body


And loud, long and shrill he blew til his steed was by his side
High overhead the grey hawk flew and swiftly did he ride
Saying "Course well, my brindled hound, and fetch me the jet black mare
Stoop and strike, my good grey hawk, and bring me the maiden fair"


She said "Pray, sheathe thy silvery sword. Lay down thy rown shield
For I see by the briny blood that flows you've been wounded in the field"
And she stood in a gown of the velvet blue, bound round withh a silver chain
And she's kissed his pale lips once and twice and three times round again


And she's bound his wounds with the goldenrod, full fast in her arms he lay
And he has risen hale and sound with the sun high in the day
She said "Ride with your brindled hound at heel, and your good grey hawk in hand
There's none can harm the knight who's lain with the Witch of the Westmorland."


<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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[jimi]

Captain\'s Log

<A target="_blank" HREF=http://hauntedon.topcities.com/fiction/CAPTLOG2.htm>Chasing widows again!</A>

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[ParaHandy]

... an its a bit soon aifter ra operation? must be awfy saire sitting doon on his ahent ... ah mean, whur else wud they hae got ra hair frae ??


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[Peppermint]

Re: I\'m not saying

so don't ask.

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[Twister_Ken]

Re: Captain\'s Log

That's not what we call a Captain's log aboard the good ship Indigo!

<hr width=100% size=1><A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.writeforweb.com/twister1>Let's Twist Again</A>

 

[claymore]

Captains Drams

I love Scotland Glens, and whatever else we lose,
Please leave us our Glens, our glorious Glens
Or mountains are grand, Ben Lomond, Ben Nevis too,
You can have all these Bens, but leave us our Glens.


Glenfiddich, Glenlivet, Glendronach,Glen Grant
Can you do without them, if you must know, I can't
Put a drop in a glass of Glen Grant or Glen Drottar
It's a perfectly bearable way to drink water


Take our Highland Schottishe, or marches, strathspeys and reels,
Take our old Scottish Waltz, but leave us our malts,
Remove if you will our Ladies conveniences,
And our Gentlemens, but leave us our Glens


Glenfarclas, Glen Lochy Glen Garioch, Glen Faul
I once knew a man who had sampled them all
Glen Ugie, Glenkinchie, Glen Isla, that's plenty
He looked 65, but in fact he ws 20.


I'd willingly lose our culture, or most of it,
Including that mess called Full Highland Dress
With the whole ethnic bit, with haggis and Hogmanay
I'd gladly dispense, but leave us our Glens


Glenturret, Glen Scotia and last week Glen Fyne
Was rare at communion when we ran out of wine
Glenglassoch, Glen Lossie, Glendullan Glenmorangie
I prefer them to Cointreau which I find too orangey.


So breathes there a Scot whose views and priorities
When laid on the line are different from mine
Take our jobs take our homes, take anything else you will
Wife, family and friends, but leave us our glens





<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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[beancounter]

Ye Gods!

....realising the pathetic inadequacy of his GCE Eng Lit (failed), the disillusioned beancounter slinks into the shadows....

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[longjohnsadler]

Re: Well thats Windermere buggered again!

She stood on the bridge at midnight
Her lips were all aquiver
She gave a cough
Her leg fell off
And it floated down the river.
(Wordsworth)

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[claymore]

Para - ye wee lickspittle
Ah'm thinkin youse is a brave wee mannie wi a'they miles atween us - jest dinnae fergit ah hef ra memry o' yin o' they pachydermythingies an ra next time youse is trying in vain tae tak advantage o' sum o' yin beauty sleep in ra speyshus surroondins o' ra guid ship Claymore - youse may wak tae ra terrible revenge bein reeked on youse by ma guid sel. Sae dinnae tak they smiley benign features o mine fer granted - ah like violence - ma wee pals heer at ra place o employ tend tae ca' me Rapunzle - wha wiz by a'accoonts a nasty wee bugger
Yer auld pal - dyin slowly o' fesh stairvation

<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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[claymore]

Re: Well thats Windermere buggered again!

Ah sat upon a cigarette
Ah bear they marks upon me yet
Burns....


<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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