Friday Humour ? (it's going down from here...)

[Divemaster1]

Friday Humour ? (it\'s going down from here...)

A young man joined the paratroopers.
After a great deal of training, he finally went to take his first jump from a plane. The next day, he called his father to tell him the news.
"So, did you jump?" his dad asked.
"Well, we got up in the plane, and the sargeant opened the door up and asked for volunteers. About a dozen men got up and just walked out of the plane!"
"Is that when you jumped?" asked the father.
"Um, not yet.
Then the sargeant started to grab the other men and throw them out the door."
"Did you jump then?" asked the father.
"No. I was the last man left on the plane. I told the sargeant that I was too scared to jump.
He told me to jump or he'd kick my arse."
"So, did you jump?".
"Not then. He tried to push me out, but I held onto the door.
Finally the Jump Master called me over and said "Boy, are you gonna jump or not?"
I said, "No, sir. I'm too scared."
So the Jump Master took his p*nis out. It was 10 inches long and as big
as a cricket bat! He said, Either you jump or I'm sticking this little
baby up your ar*e."
So, did you jump?" asked the father.
"Well, a little, at first...."

AHM

 

[paulineb]

Re: Friday Humour ? (it\'s going down from here...)

ok now everyone in the office thinks i'm mad - that really made me laugh out loud.

By the way, I think you should have said going downhill in your subject - going down has a completely different meaning

Pxx

 

[Divemaster1]

Re: Friday Humour ? (it\'s going down from here...)

I know, but "down" was more appropriate at that particular time.....(although "it's " was wrong..)...., but let's stop this branch of the thread here.....

AHM

 

[EME]

Your Country Needs YOU !!!

Army Recruitment scheme...totally politically incorrect....not my views etc.... (actually sent to me as a poster from a serving soldier..)



Army Career Call

WE'RE LOOKING FOR BLOKES WHO FANCY SPENDING AROUND 9 MONTHS A YEAR AWAY FROM HOME ON CRAP PAY THEN PROVIDE STRIKE COVER FOR TOSSERS WHO ONLY WORK 6 MONTHS A YEAR FOR BETTER MONEY!!

You have to feel sorry for the fire fighters. Two day shifts followed by two night shifts and then having to endure four days off!! Bless them. And for having to work this hard for effectively 6 months of the year they only get a miserable £17 000 basic wage + whatever they get from their second incomes.

Because of these appalling working conditions, only around 50 people apply for every vacancy the fire service have. So if you don’t fancy competing with another 49 people for this kind of slave labour, why not join the Army and compete with yourself for 1 of the 50 posts available to you and all of that for even less than the fire fighters basic wage. BARGAIN!

Sign below if you want to work for 12 months of the year, have your personal liberties removed from you for anywhere up to 6 months at a time and train for the possibility for dying for a country full of greedy, selfish pathetic individuals who cannot see past the end of their narrow minds (or fire engines)



<font color=blue>I am WHAT I say I am</font color=blue>

 

[Divemaster1]

Re: Your Country Needs YOU !!!

Have a family member in the Fire Brigade, who voted against the "discontiued industrial action". The union's SPIN doctors did work overtime on the preparation of this one and not very many of it's members did understand the full implications of the vote. Rumour is that it is a few people out there (union reps. are getting paid irrespective apparently), who were trying to make a name for them self.....

AHM

 

[jimmie]

Thick or What!!!

Just shows you how thick these young men really are. They signed up for it and knew what the score was when they accepted the Queen's shilling. Quite unlike me of course who had no option when conscripted into the army. Do you know you can go sledging in tanks?

 

[Divemaster1]

Sledging

Yup, good fun too... scares the sh**t of the new recruits...

We had one trying to be a submarine during an exercise ... (slide down bank to drive across frozen river... well, ice not strong enough & got a bit wet.... near write off & commander got a bit of dressing down...those things does not float very well do they??)

ex. gunner...

AHM