Food for highland odyssey

[jimi]

What sort of provisions should we take for our highland tour? Or would a fishing rod and Lee Enfield suffice?

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[claymore]

We've an astonishing crop of cauli's. Dear Heart has been nurturing them under glass for months now and biofeeding the soil. I'll bring a few along.
I would also recommend a good ships biscuit, a fray bentos jobbie and perhaps one of those Heinz steamy puddings - I'm rather partial to the chockkie jobs if you were thinking of sharing.
I only have one prayer and that is that there is a little less rain than fell last week - actually, thinking about it, I think it put most of the summers rain down last Thursday - mostly down my undies.

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Claymore
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[bob_tyler]

A case of Islay Single Malt.

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[starboard]

Were are you heading Jimi??? if your up this way let me know and I will buy you a pint or 10.
Paul.

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[jimi]

Well that depends on what sort of mood Claysie's in! Intention is Oban- Craobh -Colonsay - Jura - Gigha - Oban .. but if the old goats crabbit we'll run away fae him and chill out in Iona marooning Parahandy on Cleit rock en route

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[starboard]

Its not the Cleit rock you need to worry about...that's well marked, its the other bastard on t'other side that catches the unwary out....when you doing this cruise?

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[jimi]

Long weekend starting 29 April.

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[starboard]

Sorry can't make that. Heading off to Sweden to bring nice new Najaad back to bonny Scotland, should be passing west coast about 9th May bound Troon.

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[jimi]

Lucky beggar! We'll sort sumfink out later in year

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[longjohnsilver]

Nah just take a club for a few seals. Then you can pretend to be either a Canadian or a Labour politician.

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[jimi]

Acshully had some tning like this mair in mind

Tattie scones
Lorne sausage
Eggs
Mushroom
Fruit pudding
Black pudding
Mushrooms
Beans
Tinned plum tomatos

Mince
tatties

Sctotch pies

Cumnock Tarts

MacEwans Export



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[Sybarite]

The two best days in Scotland; Hogmanay and Summer..

John

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[claymore]

Noo Listen

Ye wee Frenchiefile
When ye stairt drivin oan ra correct side o the road - then ye can stairt commentin oan Scotland - onyways - Ah've jest been tae France - it snowed.

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Claymore
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[kinta]

Cheese from Arran.
Malt from Islay.
Venison from Rhum.
Red Cullin ( bottled ) from Skye.
Smoked salmon from Uist.
Square sausage from Harris.
Black pudding from Lewis.
If today's anything to go by you'll have to bring your own sunshine and wind.

Hope you have a good voyage.

All the best

Don.

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[ParaHandy]

Re: Noo Listen

whit wuz ye daeing in thon place? ye must hae been ra bees knees in yon shell suit ah've goat a pic o' youse wearing ..... ah see youse will hae ra clean grundies which ah'm awfy pleased aboot ....

ah'm feart o' yon plum tomatoes ra jimi's oan aboot .. ye cannae keep yon oan ra plate when ra boats a bit rumpy rolly, do youse no think? they slither frae one side tae the other (unless youse trap yon in orra circle o' baked beans and tha's deeficult) itherwise its a sair fecht tae git the fork intae them, nivver mind getting the sodden things intae yer gob ...

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[Twister_Ken]

Fray McBentos Haggis and Kidney bake in the tin jobbie.

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[zefender]

Re: Food, not tarts

Not entirely sure what a Cumnock Tart is. If it is food from Scotland, I'd suggest it's best avoided. If it's a reference to the local lassies, then I'd advise caveat emptor.

Essentially, I'd bring lots of decent food from the mother country darn sarf. You could always sell any surplus to the locals for a premium, natch.

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[jimi]

Re: Food, not tarts

TAM COWAN o' the Daily Record writes on Apr 7 2004


I WAS EXPECTING A CUMNOCK TAXI, BUT IT WAS STILL AT THE VET

A NEW TV reality show called The Colony is looking for a family of Brits to sail to Australia and live life as though it was the 19th century.

Rehearsals apparently start next week in Cumnock.

Only kidding folks, after spending a marvellous day in the East Ayrshire town last Thursday, I won't hear another bad word about the place.

The kind invitation came from the Cumnock Chronicle and, having rather unfairly referred to the local rag as the Cumnock Chronical in a recent column, how could I possibly knock them back?

It's even harder to resist when you consider all the fine work they do for charity. On the reception desk in the small newspaper office, I spotted a collection tin for the victims of Chernobyl.

Still, I suppose its only fair that they dig deep to help their twin town, eh?

Anyway, here's my diary of an unforgettable day: 10.30am Picked up in Glasgow by young reporter Craig Winning. He originally planned to send a Cumnock taxi to collect me.Unfortunately, though, it was at the vet.

11.10am Arrive in Cumnock and begin to feel like Doug McClure in The Land That Time Forget. Did that woman who just walked past really have a beehive?

11.12am - Phone Patrick Moore to make sure we're not due a full moon before I step out of the car.

11.15am Spot a terrific offer in the local Esso garage six free tumblers with every £20 spent on peat.

11.20am Craig informs me that they've organised a stretch limousine to take us to our next destination. I'm shocked when a stunning 30 foot long classic car turns up. I was expecting a horse with eight saddles.

11.21am Meet traffic warden and local celebrity Marjorie Hitler. Only joking, that's not her real name I think she's actually called Betty.

11.30am Got a guided tour of Cumnock police station. One local man has been banged up for indulging in a strange act with a sheep. Hewas farming it for wool.

11.40am Visit Kerr and Smith, the town's top motoring centre, celebrating its 30th anniversary in Cumnock next year. Meet new receptionist (still blushing) whowas recently asked by her bosses to make an announcement over the tannoy for a certain 'Jenny Talia'.

12 noon After a quick liquid lunch at Kerr and Smith (thanks for the Bacardi, boys) wehad something more substantial atThe Box Cafi. Formerly a church, you still see some patrons saying their prayers.

1pm Take limo to Cumnock's top department store Costcutters.

Bargain of the week? Four whisky glasses for £2.99. 'And they're genuine Cumnock crystal,' says Linda.

Her colleague Christine presents me with a Cumnock tart its like a steak-pie made with rhubarb and asks if I'd like a poke.

1.05pm Still rubbing my sore face after smart reply to Christine.

1.15pm Old dear in precinct stops to tell me that Princess Diana once visited Cumnock.Tears stream down her face when I break the bad news.

1.30pm Off to meet the locals at the appropriately named TC's pub. It's run by James McCreath.Yes, Cumnock folk can't even spell their own initials.

1.45pm Chat to two real characters. Skipper, a perfect gent, and Johnny Little who, at 103, is surely the oldest person I have ever seen wearing a baseball cap.

1.48pm Bump into a footballer's wife, Cumnock style. Her boyfriend sometimes gets a game for the mighty Albion Rovers.

2pm Over several more drinks, one local entrepreneur says he's opening a walking stick factory in Auchinleck.

'It cannae fail Tam,' he boasts, 'the whole toon's oan invalidity.'

5pm Time to head home, sadly, after a cracking day out . I hear on the radio that Dumbarton has been named one of the most generous towns in the UK.

5.01pm Can't help thinking that Cumnock was robbed.



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[Aja]

Re: Food, not tarts

Ah Cumnock. Remember it well. In the late seventies - early eighties I worked for Templeton Carpets who had a spinning mill in the town and was sent down to Cumnock when I had been a bad boy in the office in Glasgow - if you'd been only a wee bit naughty they sent you over to Templeton St in Brig'ton to get lost in the maze that it was.... never seen for days.

Well - in Cumnock I found out that a 'jiner' was a man who worked with wood - and me a good Kelvinside Academy boy too!

Happy daze....

Donald

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[Alistairr]

Re: Food, not tarts

Weel thae bit o Ayrshire i came fae, a 'Jiner' is called a ' Va'.!!



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