Disaster, what have I done???

G

Guest

Guest
In common with probably most boating couples, we have a system. I do the boring driving and she does all the interesting stuff like putting out the fenders, throwing ropes, fending off with the pole thingy and now and again, when we're happily cruising along a straight bit of river, I'll let her have a go. Of course when it comes to going in and out of locks or mooring up anywhere, she makes me take over. Till today.

Sole occupants of a lock and I'd got the gates all open to leave and it's a bit of a tricky exit, what with the boat being 10'6" and the lock 10'9" and a sharp turn just out of the lock and she says, "can I have a go to get it out"? "OK, if you want" says I, slyly smiling to myself and knowing what's likely to come next. But no, she promptly exited the lock and very well too. Didn't hit a thing, no slight scrapes or bounces against the lock wall, just gently manoeuvred it out and looked real good.

We came to the next lock and I said "I'll take over now", "No" she tells me, "I can do it, s'not difficult at all is it"

Problem now is, she wants to drive all the time and I've got to learn how to do a bowline thing and how to throw ropes. So what to do chaps? Help, I feel redundant.
 

longjohnsilver

Well-known member
Joined
30 May 2001
Messages
18,841
Visit site
Sounds like a bit of a coup d'etat.

However, look on the bright side, you can now cook whatever you want to eat, choose the carpets and curtains. Also when things go bang or won't start it won't be you that has to get covered with oil and diesel.

Enjoy the ride - I'm sure it won't last!!!!!
 

andy_wilson

New member
Joined
16 May 2001
Messages
2,716
Location
S. Yorkshire / Devon
Visit site
You want to watch yourself, with all that running around on holding pontoons, atop lock-gates and close to the waters edge.......

I'd be checking if Missus Colin has been taking out new insurance policies!
 

hlb

RIP
Joined
16 May 2001
Messages
26,774
Location
Any Pub Lancashire or Wales
Visit site
Ive been carfull to not let this eventuality to happen..
Its a bit like debt. With sence you just dont go there.
Th-wife dont try to drive and I dont try too hard to force the point even though I worry If I ever fell over the side.
But now you've realised a fait worst than death.
The wife's got the Power. Where as she used to just have sex!!

Haydn
 
G

Guest

Guest
You need more technical gizzmos to confuse her. Switching on an autopilot while she's not looking should do it.
 

david_steward

New member
Joined
16 May 2001
Messages
313
Location
Chatham, Kent
Visit site
Re: A man once said...

To me, that he didn't want his wife to learn how to drive the boat coz he might have to learn how to wash up !!!

So it seems that its marigolds for Colin from now on.

Only possible solution, buy a bigger boat now so you can reassert you manly authority. Or let Chris find out how easy it all is when you are aiming for a windward pontoon and the foredeck crew makes a hash of getting a line ashore!

Its your only hope.

Ha Ha

Dave S
 
G

Guest

Guest
Re: Sorry. Have I missed something here?

Colin's wife (whio doesn't support west ham) has taken over the driving. Now colin is worried that he will get beaten up by all the deck crews he has previously been able to swear at from a safe distance.
 
D

Deleted User YDKXO

Guest
That was a dangerous and silly thing you just did. Whenever I get this kind of question I usually mumble something about throttle levers sticking or engine only does max revs so best leave it for another day.
My advice now would be to have regular 'time of the month' tantrums. Refusing to change fenders to the other side if she changes her mind as to which side to moor. Dissapearing below at crucial mooring moments to tidy your hair. Dropping 3 fenders in the drink at once. Using granny knots to tie lines onto the boat. You know the kind of thing
You then have to follow up with some ego massage. Tell her you'll never be as competent as her at crewing and what a great team you were before and how nobody could tie a bowline like she could. Tell her how much you admired her bum when she stood on the foredeck and that you didnt really mean it when you said she looked fat in those orange and lime green slacks. You may have to follow up with some outright bribery "you know that new outfit you dragged me to look at in Harvey Nicks, dear......." but this strategy should do the trick
 
G

Guest

Guest
Re: wife driving stories

Years ago, before we were married, we went to Paris. Romantic eh? Anyway, the cheapest way at the time seemed to be to drive to dover, leave car, foot passenger to boulogne, then hire car. All, very equal etc, and she independent minded etc so she says she'll drive first. UNfortunately for me it was left hand drive, and she seemd to only drive as if a rhd. So my side of the car hit several pavements. Stop!! I'll drive fer chrissakes - not blokey, just avoiding death, y'see.

Altho I am sure there are some fab female drivers out there, I am surprised that there aren't more wimmin clamouring to drive racing cars, boats, planes etc. and heard an R4 program on dangerous MCP thin ice where the view was aired that praps wimmin just naturally not too interested in this sort of stuff on the whole, with exceptions. Certainly strange to find a young male without driving licence, unless they are tranport mininster it seems...

For myself, I'm fine if others do the driving, tho the rivery stuff is unfamiliar. At sea, long clear runs means s'fine if someone else helms. But wife never seems too bothered.

I would say tho, that helming is sure-fire way to feel OK on a lumpy sea trip. So next time mrB tries it on, praps agree PROVIDED that you helm? Bet it would decide a few iffy decisions the other way on many boats...
 

paulineb

Active member
Joined
16 May 2001
Messages
28,449
Location
I no longer live in Hope
Visit site
Re: wife driving stories

Perhaps you're right (...I said "perhaps"!). There are quite a few women who are not interested in driving machines. Personally, I was racing cars at Blackbushe airport and in Watford before I ever had my road licence. Later on, had to give up cos of pregnancies and babies and stuff but still love driving (unless there's a drink involved, in which case it's Mr B's turn) and also love driving the boat - but can never seem to get my arse on the helmsman's seat before Mr B. which is probably for the best in some instances cos he's aboslutely crap and throwing a rope.

Pauline B
 

ChrisP

Member
Joined
21 Aug 2001
Messages
777
Location
South East England
Visit site
Re: wife driving stories

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I seem to remember a cry for instructions on how to use the micro-wave not so long ago. Mr B dutifully obliged as I recall.
 
Top