Cowes Roads Rage... and the RYS

[Will]

I've seen it all now. Took a charter boat into Cowes the other day, cossing the Solent from Beaulieu ish direction, so aiming for starboard side of entrance, nicely out of way of ferries. Pootling along minding my own business, not getting in anybody's way when out comes a huuuge RIB, (one of those really nasty pale grey and yellow ones that looks like a banana split) and he's on the port side of the channel, doing about 10 knots or so and weaving all over the shop. Slightly disconcerting, so i alter course to stbd a tad, as he's made it clear he aint going to. Matey then shifts to port and increases speed, cutting across my bows (oh for a bowsprit).
On the transom of the rib is the George Cross, and the average age of the half dozen blazer clad duffers aboard must have been about 150.
Now fine, maybe they were in a hurry to get to Bingo in Bournemouth, but what really made me a bit cross was the synchronised patronising shake of moustachioed heads, and the comments about charter boats and young idiots. Because I had a charter party on board I was extremely tolerant and didn't loose off any sea cats, torpedoes, Royal Marines etc. However, when asked by one of my crew what the white ensign and the three letters on the back of the rib signified, I was at a bit of a loss as how to answer. I don't want to slate one of our so called sailing institutions, and neither am I ageist, but am i missing something? A bylaw about ribs and blazers and Ensigns? I'd expect this sort of behaviour from the Brum Navy in Poole or Torquay but this incident really suprised me. Or was it cos I'm a mere whippersnapper and just happened to be driving a charter boat at the time, and so ought to be overlooked in the colregs as mere flotsam...

And I could identify the RIB, and just might be driving a battleship next time. Try it then, you........*******!!!!!!!

 

[Guest]

Brom Navy

Eh. Understand why you might be cheesed off with your rib mates. But why the dig at the Brum Navy. It wasnt them.

 

[Will]

Not this time anyway...

Haven't been in the RYS for a while. Don't know who makes up the membership - I suppose it could have been. They seem to get everywhere else.

 

[Twister_Ken]

Re: Not this time anyway...

The RYS is old fashioned enough that a polite letter to the Commodore explaining the circs will get the boat's owner a rocket, providing you can identify the RIB in question. Of course, were you to write on a piece of RN notepaper, the rocket would probably be on re-heat.

 

[summerwind]

It isn't only the oldies of the RYA who behave badly. I was in Loctudy this August to see a big blue "Yawt" tied to the visitors pontoon.

They were taking up twice the amount of space they needed. Had their rubber duckie tied amidships to disuade neighbours and cluttered up the pontoon whith bicycles etc to supposedly prevent the great unwashed standing on their snow white mooring lines.

A more appropriate name to have painted on the mainsail cover would have been "Ignorance" rather than the very similar name that was there.

But then, I suppose they are a cut above the rest of us, aren't they?

 

[paulineb]

Bollox. You may think they're a cut above you - but not me mate ;-)

Pauline B

 

[boatone]

Hey pb - you seem to be getting rather fond of the old b*ll*x eh what....

boatone@boatsonthethames.co.uk

 

[paulineb]

Always have been ....

Pauline B

 

[Jeremy_W]

It\'s not about age...

... it is about mental rigor mortis setting in and that can be any age after thirty. It's the "we don't do things that way" mentality getting in the way of sailing. I heard of a club recently where the past commodore (60-ish years old) berated the present commodore (60 years young). For what? For getting a £20K lottery grant for six Pico dinghies plus RIB for training kids! That's the supply of new offshore crew for the 2009 Fastnet campaign sorted. But, allegedly "we are not a dinghy club"! "We are now" was the splendid reply.

 

[Guest]

Bounders of the First Water !

Clothes make the man so the saying goes.

It applies to us sailors even more so. Can I suggest that it was not the charter boat but the way you were dressed that was probably the problem ?.

Here are a few tips from my own sailing dress that gains not only respect but the right of way on every tack :-

1. Tache in tache trainer for a minumum of 3 days.

2. Double - Breasted gold buttoned blazer with silk cravat.

3. Crisp white trousers with VERY sharp crease and striped silk cream shirt.

4. White buckskin shoes with yachting cap with white cover and enamelled badge resembling the Royal Yacht Squadron.

5. Cow hide telescope under the RIGHT arm only.

The above is the very least when one goes sailing these days and to borrow a phrase from fellow contributors - to wear anything else for the gentlemen of the water (Britain and Colonies) is a load of bollox.............

 

[jamesjermain]

Not so

Sorry Vic, you're way off beam with this sartorial business.

1) Either full sets or clean shaven, never tache by itself.

2) A gentleman never wears gold buttons; black with the correct ensignia please, and silk is a bit nancy, what!

3) Hmmm not sure about the striped cream

4) Black shoes only please unless we are in the country when brown is OK with field dress tweed. Also re cap badge - enamel! Black or gold thread in tasteful amounts please

5) Telescopes are passe even for the Squadron. If you must carry one, an ex-navy pattern, gunmetal or dulled brass, possibly covered with dark blue leather

JJ

 

[Will]

And the boat???

That's all very well, but however trim 'n dapper the gents involved were, surely the fact that they were clinging on to the height of nautical vulgarity, ie a large pointy rubber thing (and an insipidly YELLOW one at that, by George) surely lets the side down. Hardly a gentleman's motor launch, damnit!!

 

[billmacfarlane]

Sorry to interrupt a fascinating thread but surely if bollock is the mono-testicular , then the plural , the bi-testicular version is bollocks. Or am I talking it myself.

 

[Guest]

I think you are all missing the point - its what boys do - and the bigger the toy, the faster they go and the more childish they look!

 

[Twister_Ken]

The RYS members handbook of nautical epithets lists bollocks as the approved version for white and blue ensigners, whilst reds, dinghy sailors and ribbists are expected to use bollix.

Lesser breeds (Romford Navy, etc) cannot, of course, cope with polysylabbic expressions and are expected to restrict themselves to words of four letters only.

Should they ever have occasion to require the hired hand to incorporate the word in a txt msg the approved usage is blx.

 

[Guest]

Re: Not so

Argh ..... but you all forgot that the buttons and bagdes MUST be tarnished from many, many years as an old Salt !!!! Shiny buttons and badges are straight from the shop ol' boy !!!!

The White top to the cap cannot be pristine also, it must be a bit mishappen and 'dented' ......

Oh bloody hell ..... why don't they just shoot the buggers ! Then we could all get on with enjoying our boats, but then we wouldn't have anything to moan about !!!!!

 

[Guest]

I know its a long way away from Cowes ..... but I think many may apreciate this one :

Many moons ago when I was Third Officer on a tanker, we visited Port Harcourt in Nigeria. Now a certain Local 'big-wig' was out in his plaything .... a fast power-boat and he was showing off. It just so happened that we were sending out mooring ropes at the time and if any of you know about polypropylene ships ropes ..... they float literally level with the water surface - difficult to see except from above !

Now our dear chappie in the powerboat ignores all signs from us to stay clear, he's happy impressing the girls etc. in the boat. Now imagine a guy standing at the helm of a powerful powerboat doing real speed ... I mean spe-e-e-e-d !!! Now he's just turned round to say something to the dusky maiden behind him when he hits a 4" diam. polyprop rope snaking out to the buoy ! His boat rears up, he goes a' over t' and the girls can't stop screaming at him. The boat runs up the bank and comes to a very undignified STOP !

Now that is what I consider Justice !!!!! mmmmmmm !!

 

[Guest]

Re: Not this time anyway...

Of course they are TOO smart and a cut above the rest to read such an awful thing as a Computer Forum !!!!! So it has to be snail-mail !!!!

 

[ianwright]

Re: Not so

Sorry an' all that, but I like my Yottin' cap, Gieves and Hawkes, about twenty years old, white cover when needed, dull wire badge, all the bells and whistles,,,,,,,, Hardly ever wear it though,,,,, too many types about with no respect for tradition and most that do use sailing caps buy those Breton jobs,,,,,,, damn shame, I call it,,,,,,,,,

Vertue 203, Patience

 

[chas]

Re: Not so

Re your 4 - I thought one did not wear brown shoes east of Ascot.