Convince girlfriend to cruise

[jj1]

I guees from the number of replies, I am not alone in this.

Given that I am on a budget in trying to get into cruising is a Contessa 26 or comparable boat the best bet to look for or can it be done with something like an Achilles 24. The Contessa 26 seems to always carry a higher price tage versus size. I think I could be happy with something like smaller but I want to make sure that if we are caught out in bad weather,,,the boat can handle it.

many thanks for the many replies.

jj1

 

[billmacfarlane]

Re: Seasickness

Excellent advice Simon. I read an article recently - can't remember where - that it's been scientifically proven that ginger actually helps. Considering the side effects of some of the other aids , it's certainly worth trying.
I've also found that if you give a crew member a job that MUST be done , e.g half an hour at the helm to give you a rest , it sometimes alleviates the symptoms.

 

[LORDNELSON]

The short answer is to obtain a girlfriend who already likes sailing/cruising. Have you applied the same care in choice of girl friend as you obviously are doing in selecting a boat! I find that after a sailing life of 50 odd years my wife and I now cruise reasonable distances but by "coast-hopping" from port to port, perhaps this would work in your case but with gradually increasing the distance of the hop!

 

[billmacfarlane]

How serious is the girlfriend and how important is it to you for her to go sailing with you ? The reason I'm asking is that I can't see anything on your question indicating that she has any indication to liking sailing. Strange as it may seem , there are many people of both sexes who do not like sailing or the sea in any form , and if your girlfriend is one of them , then the various advice you've been given re types of boat , slim hulled , tubby , heavy , light etc , won't mean a thing. Have you tried taking your girlfriend on a weekend charter to see if she'll get along with it ? If not my advice is to try it and she if she'll like it. If she does then I'd suggest you both get involved in the buying process so she is comfortable with the eventual choice. If that means you'll end up with a weekend , marina hopper , then you'll have to make a compromise to get something you're both comfortable with. Getting caught out in a F7 in a Contessa 26 might be a safe but uncomfortable situation to you , but her perception might be different so your thoughts re solid , seaworthy boats might not work.
Another compromise of course might be for you to but your boat , go sailing , and your girlfriend does something totally different.

 

[Lady_Patricia]

A woman convinced against her will
will be of the same opinion still.

I fear that you may have trouble convincing her that wet caravaning whilst seasick and cold is fun.... We know it is, realy ... surely it IS FUN...

I suggest that you introduce her to the Dutch inland waterways which are smooth, sheltered and stocked full of picture postcard villages instead of the chanell which is lumpy and difficult...

 

[WayneS]

This must be one of the best threads that I have read in a long time.

We used to live colose to teh HAmble in Warsash and every time we crossed the river on the A27 my wife would look upstream at the stinkies and I would look downstram at the real boats. Somehow I managed, don't ask me how, to convince her that downstream was best and we bought a little Westerly 22. (Fantastic, safe, sturdy old boat, but without seperate heads).

For many years I could not heel mor ethan 15deg or I would get a very very firm "Sweetheaaaaaaaart" shouted at me. I managed to convince her that, to put the kids at ease, she has to give the impression that she is having fun. I started to involve her with the planning and sailing and things are a whole lot better. Had her out in a F6 going around Anvil point last year, huge seas, stron tides....... She was very worried but at the end of it she felt that we had achieved something.

However, a couple of things. SHouting at her when she does something wrong once is one thing, but do not do it a second time or you will end up with that job every time. For 3 years now I have had to put the boat back on the mooring by myself because she did a less than perfect job on two occasions and I suggested that she had screwed up......

Another thing, if you want to give her directions from the foredeck, make sure that you face her when you talk to her, or else........"How the f...... hell do you expect me to hear what you are saying when you are not looking at me. Now do it yourself and stuff you." Hey, I have heard that a few times.

It is all fun though. One day my wife will also realise that WE will be going cruising, just as soon as I can convince the kids that leaving home is "cool".

Good luck

Wayne

 

[iangrant]

Re: You Can\'t Convince girlfriend to cruise

Take it from someone who has spent years trying to convince 'er who must be obeyed to go sailing - You will die of anger and frustration trying. The Answer; don't bother going sailing with her, sail with people who enjoy the hobby and send her off shopping or washing up or some other girlie thing. I take both children now and I can be issued with any sailing pass I want!!

 

[bedouin]

Re: You Can\'t Convince girlfriend to cruise

So why did you sell Taiyo Ian?

 

[kgi]

i totally agree with the other mail, dont scare them, if you scare them its a lost cause. i started by taking her out at every available opportunity... with out appearing to pushy, then she took her day skippers course to get her confidence up. after that we went to southern ireland, great place recomend it to anyone, by this time she was raring to go, now we are in the bahamas. hope everything goes to plan

 

[phanakapan]

Re: Buy a marine grade blow up doll !

Well its nice to know I'm one in a thousand! By the way, my brother has just started a business making and repairing RIB tubes- maybe he could diversify into marine grade blow -up dolls-- rig a couple together and you could use them as a tender....

 

[phanakapan]

Thanks for seasickness reply. I agree that stress is a contributory factor. Its a good plan to combat fear and the feeling of lack of control,both of which can make you sick with worry even before the weather gets bad,by doing the training, being involved in the decision making, and being able to trust your partner- of either sex.

 

[tome]

I (unintentionally) subjected my girlfriend to 2 miserable channel crossings before marrying her. Now we have a boat, she has completed her Day Skipper, and loves it! How?

1 Never ever shout, even if this means T-boning the boat
2 Initially take short hops in good weather
3 Progress onto longer legs
4 Take care of seasickness
5 Involve her in planning and handling the boat
6 Hope for nice weather
7 Be patient

Last year we managed to cruise to Cherbourg, Guernsey, Salcombe, and Weymouth plus all points in the Solent returning in 35 knots of wind which she loved, having gained confidence in the boat (and probably me too).

Good luck and patience

 

[ccscott49]

She must have had confidence in you, she married you! I don't have time to train anybody, need them trained!

 

[jonjo]

Re: Convince girlfriend

Arriving a bit late in this thread but if it has not been said already...

The first few sails are critical to your objective. Try and arrange a sailing venue where your girl friend can see other woman of the same age sailing, then she can think to herself "people like me do this".

 

[heerenleed]

Re: Buy a marine grade blow up doll !

Yeah....Or as a fender........

Peter a/b SV Heerenleed, Steenbeergen, Netherlands