'Buttmaster

[ChrisE]

\'Buttmaster

I'm pleased to announce a new scheme that will become compulsory for this board, YBW Buttmaster.

The scheme will be divided into 4 levels:
Competant lurker
Buttskipper
Buttmaster
Ocean buttmaster

Entry requirements
Competant lurker - none
Buttskipper - must have made at least 50 replies, from a desk PC
Buttmaster - as Buttskipper plus at least 6 posts, 200 replies at least 10 from a mobile
Ocean buttmaster - as Buttmaster plus at least 5 posts starting 'When I was in the merch...'

Syllabus
Competent lurker - at the end of the course, a CL can make a post asking for advice
Buttskipper - a BS can make posts asking for advice, commenting on issues of the day and can understand the terms flame, troll and can post text in different colours with smilies
Buttmaster - a BM can start a thread about any sailing topic, can pontificate at length and can post photographs
Ocean Buttmaster - a OB can start threads about any topic, can deploy irony, ponitifcation and can post any number of replies starting "We've seen this post before and...." or "What a load of b*****ks...."

Examinations
There is no examination for a Competent Lurker, this is awarded on the basis of posts sumitted
ButtSkipper - the examination takes the form of number of posts sumbitted. A BS is expected to be able to recognise commonly voiced threads including Compulsory Qualifications, ColRegs, Light dues, Raggie/Mobo banter, Anti Blair/Bush statements together with Regulatory Themes.
ButtMaster - The BS will be expected to start threads as identified above, have views that are left of Marx or right of Genghis Kahn.
Ocean Buttmaster - The OB will be expected to demonstrate all of the skills of a BM and must also make, or have made, their living in the marine industry. They must be able to make posts that begin 'When I was on the bridge of the...', sniff at new technology and simultaneously hold views that both left of Marx and right of Genghis Kahn.

I'm sure you will agree with me that this is the way forward.

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[Andrew_Fanner]

Re: \'Buttmaster

>>>
Ocean Buttmaster - The OB will be expected to demonstrate all of the skills of a BM and must also make, or have made, their living in the marine industry. They must be able to make posts that begin 'When I was on the bridge of the...', sniff at new technology and simultaneously hold views that both left of Marx and right of Genghis Kahn.
>>>

Or at least BS the rest of us that this is, was or will be the case

Back to CL Under Training and Supervision for me...

<hr width=100% size=1>Two beers please, my friend is paying.

 

[tcm]

Re: \'Buttmaster

i think this is you've got hold of the wrong end of the stick....and therefore qualify as a BM. Obviously, i'm lying about the 10 posts from a mobile, but i have seen it done which is "on watch" which is just as good.

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[Magic_Sailor]

Butt ***

Whilst on holiday a few years back we visited the Disney Town of Carcassone.

In it they had a "torture chamber" with normal everyday items in general - and alongside the items they had grusome medieval pictures of how these items were supposedly used.

One such item was a large two man saw and the picture depicted the felon (or whatever) upended with his legs tied akimbo and the cruel torturers about to cut the poor bugger in half.

Atthe end of the "museum" there was a visitors comment book. I shall never forget the comment left by one Brad of Salt Lake City - "That butt saw sure looks painful". You had to be there.

Sorry - the post put me in mind of it.

Magic

<hr width=100% size=1><A target="_blank" HREF=http://practical-business.co.uk>Click for website!</A>

 

[Clive_Rigden]

Re: Butt ***

Automatic O.B. for that one Geoff, I should say!

<hr width=100% size=1>Khyber

 

[StugeronSteve]

Re: \'Buttmaster

Buttmaster is a registered trade mark and property of the YBW. Only authorized butt training estasblishments are permitted to use it.

<hr width=100% size=1>Think I'll draw some little rabbits on my head, from a distance they might be mistaken for hairs.

 

[Magic_Sailor]

Re: Butt ***

Is that Ocean Buttmaster or Order of the Butt

I couldn't believe your signature - Khyber - how apt /forums/images/icons/smile.gif

Magic

<hr width=100% size=1><A target="_blank" HREF=http://practical-business.co.uk>Click for website!</A>

 

[capricorn]

Re: \'Buttmaster

Furthermore following completion of training at a recognised Butt Training Centre, an individual must be in possesion of both a persoanl Butt licence AND an anually renewable Ship's Butt Licence.

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[StugeronSteve]

Re: \'Buttmaster

Also ensure that the ship's butt licence is displayed in a prominent position.

<hr width=100% size=1>Think I'll draw some little rabbits on my head, from a distance they might be mistaken for hairs.

 

[Clive_Rigden]

Re: Butt ***

Why - thank you !

<hr width=100% size=1>Khyber

 

[Clive_Rigden]

Re: \'Buttmaster

. . . Even during a full moon ?

<hr width=100% size=1>Khyber

 

[Clive_Rigden]

Re: \'Buttmaster

I think someone's taking the Butt of Malmsey here . . .

<hr width=100% size=1>Khyber

 

[StugeronSteve]

Re: \'Buttmaster

Cheeky /forums/images/icons/smile.gif

<hr width=100% size=1>Think I'll draw some little rabbits on my head, from a distance they might be mistaken for hairs.

 

[capricorn]

Re: \'Buttmaster

The only small concession that the government regulator (OffBut?) would offer would be that an unqualified person could use someone else's Butt as long as he was fully supervised and followed the correct procedures.

Despite all this licensing we would undoubably be plagued by plonkers making unnecessary calls to the CG for "Butt Checks" when we all know that they're really there to help us in case there is grave or immenant danger to our Butts that requires immediate assistance. Surely these people knwo that calling the girl who works the VHF at the marina is a much more efficient and discrete way of making sure everything's working OK in the Butt department.

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[Clive_Rigden]

Re: \'Buttmaster

Just tell'em to "Butt Off"!

<hr width=100% size=1>Khyber

 

[StugeronSteve]

Re: \'Buttmaster

What and risk confiscation of Butt?

<hr width=100% size=1>Think I'll draw some little rabbits on my head, from a distance they might be mistaken for hairs.

 

[mirabriani]

Re: \'Buttmaster

Surely there should be an "Old Salts Butt" for those who begin a post with.........
"During the War........."
And what about the "practical" This would have to be at least one
"Scuttlbutters Cherburg"
Briani

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[ChrisE]

Re: \'Buttmaster

Now lookie here, I was going to offer advice and guidance on how to get a professional endorsement but you guys aren't taking this thread at all seriously.

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[boatone]

Re: \'Buttmaster

Life's a bummer...........

<hr width=100% size=1><A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.boatsontheweb.com/> Website, Photo Gallery, Chat Room, Burgees</A>

 

[ChrisE]

Re: \'Buttmaster

Now stoppit, or I'll get the Buttmaster General on to you.

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