best route to incompetence in boat ownership

[Searush]

Growing a big white bushy beard will make you a better sailor and in no way makes you look like a .....

Do I detect a little beard envy? And do you think I care?

 

[Victoria Sponge]

Growing a big white bushy beard will make you a better sailor and in no way makes you look like a .....

but what about the chaps?

 

[Kilter]

but what about the chaps?

 

[Baggywrinkle]

Thinking that because you can run a small business you're automatically good at everything and know more than anyone else. Anyone who has a different point of view is obviously wrong.

 

[dylanwinter]

the best place

the way of buying the right boat for you is to go to the london boat show with a blank sheet of paper and a blank cheque

make no decisions until you actually get there

buy the boat on the basis of whether or not you like the cut of the jib of the salesman

Dylan

 

[Lakesailor]

Dylan. I look towards you for inspiration.

What greater love.........

 

[chinita]

The more expensive the boat, the cheaper the binoculars.

 

[dylanwinter]

aldi on a slug

aldi binos on the slug

£3,000 camera though

d

 

[Seajet]

When I worked at a chandlery, we sold 3 grades of bino's, varying from moderately el cheapo through decent I'd use to slightly pricey.

One day we had a group of ******* in leather jackets in, " ain't you got no quality bino's, Leica's, then ? "

My reply was ' anyone who has actually experienced offshore boat conditions will think people who request Leicas' may well be a berk, Sir ! '

 

[DogWatch]

Thinking adding a gadsquillion 'apps' to an ithing will assist in anything other than alleviating boredom when drifting along waiting for a breeze.

 

[r_h]

Shouting at your crew enables them to understand instructions that would otherwise make no sense.

 

[Talulah]

Insisting that your cup of tea is a 'full' cup of tea, not just half a cup.

 

[Grehan]

What d'you need a map for? - it's all just f-ing water !

 

[sighmoon]

Use the engine to get where you want to go, and just pull the mainsail up to ensure that you have right of way.

My reply was ' anyone who has actually experienced offshore boat conditions will think people who request Leicas' may well be a berk, Sir ! '

Wonder why you don't work there anymore?

 

[dylanwinter]

this is a good one

Shouting at your crew enables them to understand instructions that would otherwise make no sense.

shouting will also help the crew to understand what you meant rather than what you said

Dylan

 

[Searush]

Shouting at your crew enables them to understand instructions that would otherwise make no sense.

Also a good tactic in foreign ports where shouting does away with the need for translation when speaking to locals.

 

[Searush]

Insisting that your cup of tea is a 'full' cup of tea, not just half a cup.

I like that. I am in the habit of telling SWMBO that we are in harbour now & can I have a full cup please!

 

[dylanwinter]

alcohol enhances your decision making skills when using wind and tide

you must remember that although drinking and driving is a bad thing......

sailing and drinking is perfectly acceptable

it has been established thtrough many years of empirical research that good quality strong spirits in moderate quantities make you a better sailor

Dylan

 

[Talulah]

Explaining to your partner that of course she can cook the 3 course lunch menu in all conditions because the cooker is gimballed.

 

[Searush]

Sailing boats don't use their engines, so you don't need to carry any fuel.


It's always sunny at the seaside, so you will only need a t-shirt & shorts when out in a boat.


The sea always gets deeper, the further out you go . . .


When the tide is out on this side of the estuary, it will be in on the other side.


And don't forget to join the Birmingham Navy - I am accepting subscriptions now, £15 pa (payment by PayPal is acceptable). I might even design a sticker & ensign to sell at greatly inflated prices too.