Aye ... auld age disnae come itsel' richt enough

[machurley22]

Aye ... auld age disnae come itsel\' richt enough

Of course, there's the general wear and tear and the accumulated injuries of a half (I hope) a lifetime..

And I knew about the body hair and have got the eyebrows and ears to prove it - does anyone know when the nose thing starts?

Then there's getting up in the middle of the night for a pee - they told me that would start at 40 but I managed a few extra years uninterrupted slumber..

But the onset of "emotional sensitivity" was a real shocker. Perhaps I'm just getting in touch with my feminine side or the drink is making me maudlin' but if the film crit says "powerful emotional drama" I just know there'll be tears flowing down my cheeks before the house lights go up again.

"What next?" is the question that really has me exercised - making the kind of late-night forum posts that you know you'll regret in the morning?

Dave

PS - Sorry if I'm scaring any of our younger readers.

 

[jimboaw]

Re: Aye ... auld age disnae come itsel\' richt enough

poor wee laddie. 40 + a few, 3,4,5,? and that's "half a life time"? You must be pretty sure of your gene pool. Keep posting here but try to avoid sending "Letters to the Editor" in your local paper after a drink or 8.

 

[Shakey]

Re: Aye ... auld age disnae come itsel\' richt enough

[ QUOTE ]

Then there's getting up in the middle of the night for a pee - they told me that would start at 40 but I managed a few extra years uninterrupted slumber..

[/ QUOTE ]

40??? Bl**dy hell, I've been doing that since age 0, newborn, neonate thanks to:

Enuresis (that's a posh word for bed wetting)

Home brew

Working in night clubs

Insomnia.


I don't trust anyone who goes to bed before midnight without a valid reason. Or a note from their mum.
/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

[machurley22]

Re: Aye ... auld age disnae come itsel\' richt enough

Sound advice re my local paper and duly noted.

Dave

 

[boatmike]

Re: Aye ... auld age disnae come itsel\' richt enough

An then when ye bend doon tae tie y' boots d'ye noo think "is the' anythin else I ken wud be useful tae do wile I'm doon here?"

 

[tugboat]

Re: Aye ... auld age disnae come itsel\' richt enough

LOL /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

 

[BobOwen]

Never mind the Bermuda triangle.......

Ah...the nose hair thing?

You'll be enquiring of the nasal gardening then?

It occurs one night during your mid forties. You go to bed with a clear nasal passage, you sleep well. You wake up and there, from nowhere, sprouting from one ( Maybe both) nostrils is a hair.

Not a "normal" hair, but a thick, jet black, shiney hair. It normally protrudes a good half inch. You gaze in wonder. "Where did it come from?" - "How come I never noticed before?". "How odd!" - Cut or pluck, you make your choice.
You are bemused.

Next day, there are two. The mystery is, how do they just appear half inch long? Do they lie coiled, ready to spring out? Do they grow at a fantastic rate? Does the wife hang wieghts on them while your asleep? You experience a rising panic.

Next day and every day there after, each morning you are greeted with a veritable thatch. You cut, pluck and generally thrash at them until theres no visible sign.
An hour later you notice another two or three "hawsers" hanging out.
You now experience a mid life crisis.

Should you prefer the trim method, you will, after a week or two notice that your nostril entrance is actually akin to a solid well trimmed black privet hedge.

After a while you give up. I elected for the rather radical " Growbag" method. I leave them alone till about 3" long, , and weave them into my moustache. I suspect the wife is very impressed.

Its one of the inponderables of life. Its what all the old guys sitting on park benches are actually trying to figure out.

MEDICAL NOTE: Should you elect for the pluck method, you discover one of those amazing facts - they are actually attached to the back of your eyeballs. The pain experienced proves there is no other explanation. Forget the emotional films - this must have been the Spanish Inquistion special.

 

[mirabriani]

Re: Never mind the Bermuda triangle.......

Bob what a great description!

With me it was an eyebrow.
Yes, really. Somehow I cultivated a beaut'
as you describe, totally different colour and texture
about 2 inches long. My daughters were teenage then
They used to creep up behind my armchair........
you can imagine.......chased 'em round the house.

Happy days
Briani

 

[catmandoo]

Re: Aye ... auld age disnae come itsel\' richt enough

Following key check points

1 Are you embarassed when you forget to pull up your zip
2 Can you pee straight without wetting your shoe
3 can you pee immediately or do you have to wait for 5 minutes
4 can you pee at all
5 Have you any growths on your face ? how many?
6 and lastly - can you still get it up

 

[machurley22]

Re: Never mind the Bermuda triangle.......

Thanks for the informative and highly detailed reply Bob.

I had thought myself fortunate to have reached my second half-century without suffering the depradations of a nasal hair explosion. I now realise, from your clinical description of the hair itself and, in particular, of the pain associated with an attempted pluck, that I am in fact in the early stages.

Thanks again for sharing.

Note to self - grow a moustache.

Dave